Magik Dreamer
 Author has written 2 stories for Maximum Ride, and Sherlock. WARNING! THIS PAGE HAS A LOT OF RANDOM STUFF THAT WILL PROBABLY TAKE A LOT OF TIME TO READ! IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE COMPLETELY CRAZY BACK AWAY SLOWLY AND GO PLAY WITH CHICKENS AND STRING!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! WAIT!!! GO TO Love You, Want You, Need You by Mrs.HermioneSnapeSarahKing! It's her first FF, and good. I will love you forever if you check it out! It is HermioneXSeverus, Rated T, and a Romance/Drama. If any of this appeals to you, GO! Name: Zoe Age: Changes everyday. ;) Sign: Cancer 10 Things about me: 1) I have 3 fave books (Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, and Maximum Ride) 2) I am OCD and have athsma. 3) I am obsessed with swimming, surfing, snorkeling, snuba, soccer, Maui, and skiing. Oh, and reading/writing. :) 4) I have a dog that I love more than anything else in the world, and two cats. 5) I am Spainish, Mexican, British, Irish (YAY!), French, German, and a bunch of other stuff. 6) I love a British boy, and a British accent, but I hate the British government for their horrible treatment of the Irish. 7) I live in Central California. 8) I have been to Rome, Venice (AMAZING), France, Maui, Kauai, Oregon, New York, Seattle, DC, and Greece. 9) I have one little sister. 10) I am make up words ex (lurve {LUH-irv:to love and deserve}, Ninus Domesticus{NINE-us DO-mess-tik-us: NO!} and Arook {ARU-k: Blue}) My fave HP Pairings: DracoM/HermonieG SeverusS/HermioneG HarryP/HermonieG HarryP/GinnyW GinnyW/BlaiseZ NevilleL/LunaL My fave MR Pairings: MaxR/Fang Iggy/EllaM Iggy/Nudge My fave AF Pairings: HollyS/ArtemisF ... Yep, thats pretty much it... Fave Music: Panic! At the disco, Jem, Regina Spektor, Jack Johnson, Brother IZ (AKA Israel Kamakawiwo'ole- Yes he is Hawaiian), Bruno Mars, OneRebublic, Train, Judy garland, Edith Piaf, Florence and the Machine, The Beatles, Natasha Beddingfield, The Dresden Dolls, Adele, Katy Perry, Tokio Hotel, Maroon 5, Shinedown, Lady Gaga, P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Mindy Gledhill, Joss Stone, Jason Mraz, and Lenka Fave Authors: Russel T. Davies, Moffat, J.K. Rowling, Eion Colfer, James Patterson, Rick Riordan Percy Jackson Pledge I promise to remember Percy Whenever i'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth Whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature For Grovers sake of course I promise to remember Luke Whenever my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron Whenever I see a "free pony ride" I promise to remember Thalia When a friends afraid of heights I promise to remember Clarisse Whenever someone gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca When a sister scolds her brother I promise to remember Nico When I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe When I look up at the stars I promise to remember Rachel When a limo passes my car Yes I promise to remember PJO Wherever I may go. NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan Even cat goddesses like growling at birds. Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones. The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese. Children of rival gods can fall in love. No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels. Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream. Eating fruit bats is bad for your health. Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated. The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy. Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess. Jackal headed gods can be very attractive. (VERy, VERY Attractive!) Math teachers really are evil. Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...) It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena. Elvis was a magician. No, really. Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed. Hieroglyphics are fun to read. A god of toilet paper can actually be really cool. Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (You dont?) Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (Everyone does that!... Right?) You write fanfictions about the book. (who, me?) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (Yeah! ALL THE TIME) You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (Once or twice. .. Or five) Everything reminds you of the book. (Yes all the time!! ) You quote random lines all the time. (If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, I'm mad. That's the way history is written.) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (I wish!) You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (Two words. Neutro 2000) You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (laptop.) You've got a book memorized. (Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, bits of Percy Jackson.) You've read a book more than five times. (Yes I have I read the HP, MR, and AF books so manny times. Think 20. ;)) You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Yes I read the first three Harry Potter books in a day and I read the entire maximum ride series in a week! The same week a book a day!) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.(Not again! People how did they find out?! abort mission!) You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Yes I mean come on! What would they say if I call their character fictional!!) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (NO, THEY ARE NOT FICTIONAL! HOW MANY FLIPPIN TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!?!?!) Your idol is a character from a book. (STOP READING MY MIND! ONLY SNAPE DOES THAT!!!) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (D'Arvit people! How the heck do you find out about this stuff?!?) I also love the anime type thing, like Kiki's Delivery service and My Neighbor Totoro Godly parent: Poseidon House in Hogwarts: Slytherin! HOBBIES: Reading, being on my laptop, Watching Doctor Who or Sherlock, taking pictures Favourites (related to books): Series: Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl Book in that series: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports (Love the Sarcam!) , The Prisoner of Azkaban (GO SIRIUS!), and The Time Paradox (ARTY AND HOLLY KISS!! :D) Spell: Lumos Place: Camp Half-Blood/Fowl Manor/Malfoy Manor/Hogwarts/ Sky/Ocean Professor: SEVERUS SNAPE!... And Remus. :P Favourite God: Poseidon. Favourite Goddess: Athena and Artemis What a boyfriend should do... When she walks away from you mad, follow her. When she stare's at your mouth, kiss her. When she pushes you or hit's you, grab her and dont let go. When she start's cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her. When she's quiet, ask her whats wrong. When she ignore's you, give her your attention. When she pull's away, pull her back. When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful. When you see her start crying, just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind. When she's scared, protect her. When she lay's her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her. When she steal's your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night. When she tease's you, tease her back and make her laugh. When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay. When she look's at you with doubt, back yourself up. When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand. When she grab's at your hands, hold her's and play with her fingers. When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh. When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold. When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does. When she misses you, she's hurting inside. When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away. When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go. When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up. Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back. Stay up all night with her when she's sick. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid. Give her the world. Let her wear your clothes. When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. Let her know she's important. Kiss her in the pouring rain. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's butt am I kicking?" Don't you wish there were more boys like this? Fav Songs: TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS: Tied Together With A Smile (so peaceful) The Outside (I can relate) White Horse (So sad, but so peaceful) Love Story (Ah... the Somewhat classic Romeo and Juliet - although I don't love sappy stuff, but it's still nice) You Belong With Me (So catchy) AVRIL LAVIGNE SONGS: What the Hell (!) Smile ( :D ) Sk8er Boi (:))!) KE$SHA SONGS: Blow (SO AWESOME!) We R Who We R (Same as above :D) Animal (Ditto!) Backstabber (Awesome!) Your Love Is My Drug (Awesomeness!) Other Ones: Who Says? Toms Diner In Remembrance... to all the people who died because SOME idiots couldn't realize that no one in the world wanted them (Cough, cough, Kronos, Jeb, and Voldemort, cough, cough) …In Remembrance to Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold rubbish. …In Remembrance to Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his soul mate and brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? …In Remembrance to Dobby… …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauderer... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf. ….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end. …In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. ...In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! She deserved everything she got and more. …In Remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry's actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring ...In Remembrance to Sirius Black... ...Who never got to walk free... ...Who had to live with a crazy house elf and screaming portrait for a year... ...And who had to get killed by a curtain. In loving memory of... ...Luke Castellan, who died to save Olympus and will always be remembered as a hero ...Zoe Nightshade, who went on a quest knowing very well that she would die ...Bianca di Angelo, who sacrificed herself to save her friends ...Daedalus, who died to prevent Luke's army from using the Labyrinth ...Silena Beauregard, who died a hero ...Charles Beckendorf, who let himself die for the sake of a mission's success ...Ethan Nakumura, who redeemed himself in the end only to be killed by Kronos ...Everyone else who died in the Titan War II because Kronos didn't understand that no one wanted him around. REMEMBER WHEN .. getting High meant swinging at a playground? the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs? 'mom' (was your hero) and 'Daddy' was the boy you were gonna marry? when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest? when - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free? remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP? SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY Written by: Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs 1.) Playing with your food and calling it 'art' 2.) Making a list of symptoms that most likely apply to yourself as well. 3.) Basing your ingredients list off your obsession's favorite color. 4.) Eating dog food. For ANY reason! 5.) Chasing your tail. 6.) Laughing for absolutely no reason. None. 7.) Waking up at an Ungodly hour every. Single. Day. 8.) Reading a book CLEARLY meant for Girls. And then trying to defend it. 9.) Actually WANTING to be on a list of insane things. 10.) Treating your own son like dirt when he NEVER deserves it. 11.) Acting like the things your family says or does is your fault, when it's obviously not. 12.) Silence. 13.) Spontaniously bursting out into song at the most inappropriate/ inopportune/ awkward times. 14.) Accepting ANYTHING from Peeves! Especially strange packages, and then handing them off to your FRIENDS!(because said friends may try to kill you). 15.) WEARING the Christmas decorations (even if they do look better that way). 16.) Almost getting yourself killed on a regular basis out of BOREDOM! 17.) Dancing in the rain. 18.) Befriending a werewolf. 19.) Befriending a Quidditch-obsessed, love-sick puppy who can't even keep his hair flat. 20.) Befriending a walking bully-magnet who can't even take a spelling test without hyperventilating. 21.) Befriending an egotistical, pranking-machine who seems to be in a constant state of sugar-high. 22.) Glaring at inanimate objects to "scare them". 23.) Yelling at someone right next to you. 24.) Walking into a room and forgetting what you're doing. 25.) Completely LOSING IT over a lack of organization. 26.) Having to wear post-its on your arm to remember anything. 27.) Obeying the commands of random post-its on your arm without question when they make NO sense and clearly weren't written by you. 28.) Falling in Love. 29.) Fighting with your own team. 30.) Creating an army of first-years to do your biding. 31.) Creating a chain of letters instead of just simply writing to each other directly like normal. 32.) Talking in Chat Speak. 33.) Switching personalities to scare the poor little first-years. 34.) Spending your class time drawing suicidal stick figures. 35.) Being convinced your friend is an imposter simply because he took notes. 36.) Referring to yourself in the third person. 37.) Braiding people's hair every time you get bored. 38.) Losing your wand when it's behind your ear the whole time. 39.) Becoming so tired, you actually become super hyper. 40.) Breaking a record through pranking. 41.) Speaking all grammatical symbols (Period). 42.) -!( DRAMATIC ENTRANCES!)!- 43.) Wrapping people. 44.) Making your hair holiday themed. 45.) Rapping. 46.) Stress Baking 47.) Stalking 48.) Therapy 49.) Trying to prank the MASTERS! 50.) Nightmares 51.) Overly dramatic public displays of affection 52.) Switching names 53.) BETRAYING YOUR FRIENDS 54.) Forgiveness 55.) Breaking things for fun. 56.) Running away 57.) Sound effects. 58.) Overreacting to everything 59.) Miming 60.) Growing Up If you are random copy and paste this on your profile: I'M S0o0 RaNdoM! Quotes: - Knowledge talks, wisdom listens (Does that label me as wise? AWESOME!) - Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it (:D) - She picked my file from her desk, "Let's see. This is Doctor Ram's brief to me - patient has sleep deprivation, has cut off human contact for a week, refuses to eat and, has Google-searched on best ways to commit suicide." She paused and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "I Google for all sorts of stuff," I mumbled, "Don't you?" - Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. - The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. - When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D I LOVE EMOTICONS :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D YOUR GUY SIDE: YOUR GIRL SIDE: I saw this and thought, meh. Why not? 11 LAYERS OF YOU... LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE Name: Zoe LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE Your heritage: German, Irish, Spanish, French and other stuff i cant remember. LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW: Your thoughts first waking up today? That was an amazing dream. Your best physical feature? Eyes. Your bedtime: Around 9 and 10 sometimes 11 LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK: Pepsi or Coke: Neither. Dr.Pepper or Root beer for me. McDonald's or Burger King: Eww! None! If I have to eat meat, I'll go to In and Out! Single or group dates: never had a date Lipton Tea or Nestea: neither. Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD Cappuccino or coffee: COFFEE!!!!! :DDDD LAYER FIVE: DO YOU? Smoke: No. LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH: Drank alcohol: Not legally... LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER: Played a stripping game: no LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD: Age your hoping to be married: In either my twenties or thirties. LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY: Best eye color: Blue, gold, brown, or silver. LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING: 1 MINUTE AGO: Answering questions. LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE: I LOVE: the most random things. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if Artemis hadn't ticked off Holly in the Time Paradox? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. (Point? What point?) No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. (That. Would. Be. AMAZING!! :D) You zone out even with other people. (Me: With who? Friend: MEE!! Me: Oh. Hey! When did you get here?! Friend: I've been talking to you for the last hour. Me: Ohh... Is that what that was? ) You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. I guess I'm an author. . . RANDOM THINGS Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE! I reject your reality and substitute my own Im not short! Just fun size. Welcome to the dark side. Why are you surprised we lied about the cookies? Global warming killed Frosty Screw world peace- I want a pony The police never think its as funny as we do I never finish anyth Have a nice cup of shut the hell up I love math- 11=11 Trust me. I'm a Jedi I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minuet of it. I don't get drunk, I get awesome I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird anda freak either behindmy back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, Always Running The Labyrinth, IzzydaWolfeGrrl, TheBlueBottle,That Creepy Kid, Darquesse, Holly Bluemoon,Whiskas1393, Magik Dreamer One For The Girls I look at my friends, And I look at me. Without my buddies, Where would I be? My friends, My sisters, My shadows, My world. Where would I be, Without the girls? Giggles and Tears, Smiles and Laughs. Late night texts, And photographs. We'll be there together, Til our last days. Bets memories forever, Just won't, Fade Away. Copy and paste this if you feel this way about your own best friends how to keep a steady level of insanity: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile! Things to do in an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23) SAY I love you really loudly If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. If you agree with this, put this in your profile. If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull (or Vice Versa) copy this into your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile If you frequintly Mrs.spell words that you shud no, untie with me and coffee this two yoor proefil If you get confused and forget what you're going to say just because a fly buzzes by your head...never mind, I forgot what this was... ifq yoo sux ats seppllingq, copee dis. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/spiders, copy this into your profile. If you think that everyone in your family is crazy besides you, copy and paste this into your profile. IF YOU CAN HURT YOURSELF DOING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. How to Be Annoying: Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." Drum on every available surface. Sing the Batman theme constantly. Staple papers in the middle of the page. Ask 0800 operators for their home phone number. If they don’t give it to you ask why they are calling YOU at home. Sew department store anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. Set alarms for random times. Honk and wave to strangers. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. Tape pieces of "Play School" over climactic parts of rental movies. Borrow someone’s eraser, then when they ask for it back, throw it across the room, making sure it misses them, and shout “You sure cant catch!!” In the middle of a long car trip, yell out, really loudly, “I need to pee’. To be even more annoying, do it just after you’ve left, or taken a pee break. When on a long road trip, say “are we there yet’ every five minutes In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (really? I thought it would be cold) On packaging for a Rowentairon: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (It does not! does it? ohh, hey, it does!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Hawaiian?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (now they tell me) On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (!) Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop" (Woow...) Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (...) Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances" (That's right, who doesn't use their dusters as kindling?) Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!) Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeh. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae) Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!) Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.) RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (again now they tell me) Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Shit. Sherlock) On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions-"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food now?!) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) 40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored: 1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em. 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. (i did this once and i scared the living daylights out of this granny lol) 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. 17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. 18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs. 19. Start a fish-stick fight. 20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended. 21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" 22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf. 23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner." 24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. 25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines. 26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section. 27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." 28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". 29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. 30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. 31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs. 32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. 33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. 34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. 35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid 16 Ways to Relieve Stress: 1. Shove 20 marshmellows up your nose and try sneezing them out. 2. Use your Master Card to pay off your Visa. 3. WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO HAVE A NICE DAY, TELL THEM THAT YOU HAVE OTHER 4. Make a TO-DO list of things that you have already done. 5. Put your little sister’s clothes on her backwards, and send her to 6. Fill your taxes out in Roman numerals as revenge against the government. 7. Draw underwear on the natives in National Geographic. 8. Pay your electric bill in pennies. 9. DRIVE TO WORK IN REVERSE. 10. Refresh your self: put your tongue on a cold steel guard-rail. 11. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to 12. READ THE DICTIONARY UPSIDE DOWN AND LOOK FOR SECRET MESSAGES. 13. Bill your doctor for the time you spend in the waiting room. 14.write a short story using alphabet soup. 15. STARE AT PEOPLE THROUGH A FORK AND PRETEND THEY ARE IN JAIL. 16. Make up a language and ask people for directions. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Cool huh ?? If yuo can raed tihs tehn put it on yuor porifle !! The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...I wonder... Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who the hell is drinking my water! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with I call things as I see them; and you my friend, are ginger! :D Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. 25 Reasons to Thank my Mother: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 1.YOUR REAL NAME: Zoe 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Zoeizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Green Dragon 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Alexandra Celeste 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Zorty 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Silver RootBeer 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Zouezaomy WTF? 8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Sparkel 9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Lee 10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (something bad, favorite fruit) Voldemort Apple 11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (third favorite color, pirate accessory) Black Sword Here's a joke... there are 3 men who need to get across a lake... the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across... he gets big muscles and swims across... but almost dies 5 times... the 2nd1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across... he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across... but he almost dies 3 times... the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains... he turns into a woman... walks 4 yards... and crosses the bridge SECURITY SYSTEM INSTALLATION 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 k 2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, INSTALLATION COMPLETE!! You know you live in 2011 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played Solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they're not on Facebook. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that... You know you did. Put this on your profile l、 evil kity! An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Join the dark side. We have Snape! I's the dark side. DID YOU REALLY EXPECT US TO GIVE YOU SNAPE? Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!! If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others. If you have ever seen a movie (or a show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do at random moments, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile. If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing from something that happened YESTERDAY, copy this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you're against racism, prejuice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile. 95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero.o, emoTWiLiGHT. Obsessed.with.writing, -TeAm EdWaRd32- 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, xshoppingshortiex, Einstinette, Kingdomwriter34 2whitie, Magik Dreamer If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile. If animal abuse makes you cry, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile (I live in books!) If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile (I even argue with video games! YAY!) If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! (Love it!!!) If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile (Those teens in those horror movies would still be alive if they would have listened!) If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile. (Cookies r da' bomb!! Conversation of my friends: Come to the dark side, we have cookies-come to the light ide, we arnt fat Come to the dark side, we have hot boys-come to the light side, we arnt pregnant If you think High School Musical sucks...and you hate it to no end and is an insult to the classic Disney movies and musicals...then copy and paste this now!! (Newsies is the best!) If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile (What did they do before internet? Oh ya, nothing evidently...) My Faith:Jesus This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? "I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself. You know what gets me?( this will only make since to AF fans) My name doesn't have one J in it, but my parents insist on calling me 'Jay-Jay'. Now, it stands for 'John Junior' because I'm so much like my dad, but me being the AF fan that I am, thought this when my parents started calling me Jay-Jay: 'So you guys think I'm a lemur?' "Artemis the hunter. I hunted you So if you paint a kitchen, you get a tattoo dont you mock my birthmrk, which i may or may not have we are in a snow white production, as dwarfs. Of corse, my partner was meant to play dopey if you get my drift If alive, plz help. if not, wrg number yeah, i know you, you have your own page in the crimminaly inane section of the history books "Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all do." "Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?" Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with. I love the bad guys who aren't that bad: Anakin Skywalker, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Artemis Fowl, Jack Sparrow. 10 Things not to do with Artemis 1 lock him in a room with miles and bekket 2 catch him and Holly kissing and take a photo then send it to foaly 3 lock him with mulch for a week until he goes crazy 4 hook your arm around his and say " so when is the big day?" 5 run up and peck his cheek then run away ( Holly would kill you) ha ha 6 run up and say "Minerva is looking for you" 7 ( only do if you are Holly or his mother) hand him jeans and a t-shirt and say try it on the snap a photo and post it on the web 8 lock him, Trouble, and Mulch in a holding cell for a month 9 grab a book and throw it at his head(Holly or Butler will get you) 10 tell him that he has to go save the world with Holly and send both of them to the artic ( they would kill you but it would be worth it) 10 things not to do with Holly 1 keep her away from the surface for 100 years 2 put her in a conference with Artemis and Foaly going on and on about science 3 MAKE HER WATCH MUD MAN MOIVE NARNIA 4 Make her watch the lord of the Rings 5 Make her sit in a room with Trouble. For any amount of time 6 Make her eat meat 7 take away her Neutro 8 Lock her in a room with Opal Koboi with nothing but a paperclip and a hat 9 Lock her in a room with Foaly and Trouble for a month 10 Lock her in a room with Minerva and Opal Koboi If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile |
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