Welcome to my store catalog... (yawn) Items for sale are:

Item - Cost

constructive criticism - a story worth enhancing
insults to english skills - more than forty spelling and grammar errors.
ordinary insult - bad fic
flame - bad story in which it insults the original story itself
degrading insult - presence of mary sues
internet vomit - bad parings, bad lemon scene, super ooc ness
thumbs up - good story
good review - very good story
addition to favorites - a story that satisfies my expectations

NO RETURN NO EXCHANGE POLICY IN EFFECT!!!

Promos:

50 discount to people I hate on insults and flames

Buy one take one - two insults for every bad fic you post

Holiday Packages for Writers(?) who write horrible fanfics:

One white-hot christmas flame filled to satisfy your wish for a white christmas.

An elaborate fireworks display of rockets with the printed version of your horrible fanfics (Perfect for July 4 and Chinese New Year, may bring bad luck instead of repelling)

For valentines, your bad fics could be printed on red paper and snipped to little pieces to form a paper mosaic heart. (At least those useless fanfics finally have a use.) WARNING: Valentine may be rejected due to presence of horrible fic.

On Labor Day, your fics could be used as effigies of corrupt politicians and burned on the streets.

Printed versions of your fics could be put to good use as costumes for halloween .

Could be wrapping for thanksgiving turkey (may cause food poinsoning)

For insurance, please contact associates.