Hmm, decided to change my profile because my last one made me sound like an absolute idiot (then again I very well might be). I don't write 'cause I can't keep myself interested enough to actually ~write~ something worthwhile. I adore anything that interests me enough. Read: I spaz all over the place. LOL. Even more so, I 'fangirl' well written crossovers!

Also, I would like to add, that I would like to thank fanfiction for confusing the hell out of me. I mean, one moment I was straight and now I'm bi. :) Really, who would have thought?

Favorite Disclaimer: They would probably have us lynched if they knew we were doing this to their characters.

Recs:

Harry licked the spoon, "Yogurt satisfies me in a way you just won't understand Edward Cullen. Me and yogurt have this eternal bond nothing can break it, it's sacred."
"I can see." Edward stuck his hands into his jean pockets, "So you're having an affair with fungus right in front of me?"
Yogurt by Mirky, a Harry Potter/Twilight crossover fic.

"So," she said, evenly staring at Snape and Hagrid. "You wish the child to attend your school."
"Ain't no better school in t' world," Hagrid said proudly.
"When was the last time you paid taxes to Her Majesty," Integra asked suddenly.
"What," Snape said, confused. "We pay taxes to the Ministry of Magic!"
"What seal is on your birth certificate," Integra continued.
"The Ministry's, of course," Snape answered. His brows lowered. "If you have a point to this drivel, please, by all means get to it."
"The child is a citizen and close acquaintance of Her Majesty," Integra said, rising to her feet. "As such, he will not be schooled by revolutionaries who refuse to accede to the dominion of Queen Elizabeth the Second."
"Don't you go sayin' that kinda stuff about Per'fessor Dumbledore," Hagrid thundered. "He's a great man!"
Vampire's Childe by mercva, a Harry Potter/Hellsing crossover fic.

He was, after all, Uchiha Itachi, the greatest thing to come out of the clan since the sharingan itself, which, coincidentally, was causing him to go blind. Irony.
Fitting though, since he had caused the Uchiha clan to go extinct.
Friendship Story by Letta, a Naruto fic.

“Takumi’s back.” Naruto’s grin seemed to grow even bigger, bearing his fangs.
“Really?”
“Takumi!” The doors burst open and a white-haired boy stumbled in.
“I did it this time!” he declared as he pulled out a storage scroll. “I definitely assassinated the right guy!” He pricked his finger and ran it along the scroll. There was a poof of smoke and Naruto’s office was suddenly filled with severed heads. “He has got to be here! I went to the village you told me about and killed every single person there."
“Well, that’s one way of doing it,” Naruto commented. “Is that a horse head?”
“I killed all the animals too, just in case,” Takumi stated.
Nothing But Trouble by Mister Cynical, a Naruto fic.

And that was the fateful day that the Boy started to learn to protect himself, setting into motion a total deviation from what the lady-like Destiny and the uptight Fate had decided what his life would be like, which was totally screwed over by the mischievous Chance and the stereotypical-blonde Luck (Explaining why she’s sometimes referred to as ‘Dumb Luck’), thus resulting in a screaming fest and being chewed out by Fortune for acting unprofessionally.
FoxChild by The Tooth Fairy, a Harry Potter/Yu Yu Hakusho/Naruto crossover fic.

Daisuke stealthily crept through the empty hallway, heading for his bedroom. He inched open the door warily of creaking, managing to slip through and shut the door without a sound. Ha! I'm a super spy! Nothing too hard for me. Now for the good part, he crept over to the bed with a evil grin. He crouched down, ready to pounce onto the bed, when the bedroom lights suddenly came on. The redhead yelped, “Bright light!" He shielded his eyes with a raised arm and squinted around the room for the source of light.
Ken leaned against a wall, hand still resting on the light switch. He seemed immensely pleased with himself.
“Hey!" The tanned boy squawked, “How'd you know?"
The other boy shook his head incredulously. “Dai, you were humming 'Mission Impossible.' It was kind of hard to miss."
A New World by cypher away, a Digimon fic.

And as if ripping of a mask, the golden-eyed man revealed a face much younger than his original.
"!? Who the hell are you?"
"Heheheh…Is it that much of a shock that you can't figure it out? It's me, Orochimaru!"
"…you did it. You already achieved the completion of that kinjutsu…"
"Haha…it's been more than ten years since I left the village. I suffered quite a bit to achieve this, you know. I'm a partial victim in this."
"You terrifying inhuman creature, you… You look like a woman."
"I'm immortal."
"But you look like a woman!"
"I am immortal and unbeatable, Sarutobi, what else matters?"
"But you look like a woman!"
"I'll rule over the shinobi countries! I'll become a GOD!"
"But you look like a woman!"
"Quit repeating that sentence!"
"Oh my Goddess!"
"Silence!" Orochimaru hissed with fury, and formed a set of seals, summoning some minor snakes to attack his former sensei.
Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat, a Naruto fic.

Writing Japan's first mainstream hit homoerotic novel had been disturbingly easy.
For one thing, Yuki didn't have to constantly check for switched pronouns in the midst of love scenes. Two novels ago, one of those had slipped through the whole way to printing, leaving a nation's worth of school girls sighing over how easily the hero gave up control in bed to his girlfriend.
For another thing, Yuki didn't have to come up with plausible reasons for the main character to be irritated with the attractive young women vying for his attention. He was running out of ideas for those anyway, the skin sensitivity to estrogen solution might have been pushing it.
Twelve Million Japanese Women Can't Be Wrong, the sequel to Quite The Effect by mousapellikun, a Gravitation fic.

"Great. Just freakin’ great,” the boy muttered. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Alex pulled the needle out with a single swift movement. He continued to muse on his situation aloud as he bent his arm upward to prevent any bleeding and applied pressure with his opposite hand. “I’m always waking up in strange beds with no idea how I got there. The really sucky thing is that I don’t even get a one night stand out of it.”
Breakout, the sequel to Outbreak by Early-Frosts, a Harry Potter/Resident Evil crossover fic.

Bill smirked and stole a hug from Harry and taunted Charlie. “You got lucky getting to him first. I should have nabbed him last year.”
Charlie rolled his eyes playfully as Harry blushed and leaned back into him. “Did I, big brother? It is obvious that I’m the gorgeous one of the bunch.”
“Keep dreaming. I’m the hot one,” scoffed Bill airily.
“I eloped.” Charlie taunted.
“I -” Bill stopped. “Okay you got me, elopement is a whole lot more than I ever did.” Harry grinned widely and shook his head. “Except for the threesome on my twenty-first birthday, but we won’t talk about that…” He murmured, watching over his shoulder as his mother straightened Ron’s collar.
Charlie snorted as Harry burst into giggles. “Lovely image you created for me, Billy.”
I Will Possess Your Heart by Bittersweet Alias, a Harry Potter fic.

Yugi, Ryou, and Marik slowly turned around, their eyes going wide when they spotted the Asgard. A moment later they screamed in unison and bolted in the opposite direction, picking a hall at random, Yugi keeping his head enough to grab Daniel’s arm as he ran by and drag the man behind him. Their cries of “We’ve been abducted!”, “Don’t let it eat my brains!”, and “I don’t want to get probed!” echoing long after they disappeared into the maze of hallways that criss-crossed the spaceship.
Thor blinked and spoke softly into the silence, “That was rather unexpected.”
Of Gods And Men by RogueMoon, a Yu-Gi-Oh!/Stargate SG-1 crossover fic.

Harry flipped back a few pages until he found it. “The Chinese Princess,” he read aloud. “Once upon a time…”
Half an hour later, when Harry was giving the story its second run through of the night, Neville poked his head round the curtains. He saw Harry sitting cross-legged, with a book in his lap and a trio of enraptured baby Black Desert Cobras on his left knee.
“I don’t think I want to know,” he said faintly. “Goodnight Harry. See you tomorrow.”
And he pulled his head back. Through the thick material, Harry saw his colours cross the room, and saw the colours of Ron, Seamus and Dean turn to him.
“What’s he doing?” Harry heard Ron ask.
“I think he’s reading them fairy stories,” Neville said dazedly.
There was a long pause. “Well,” Seamus said after a while. “So much for Parselmouths being evil.”
Harry grinned, and kept reading.
Serpens Armarum by Evandar, a Harry Potter fic.

Chapter 3 Author Note:
PS: Did you guys notice there are brand new green buttons? :looks at button dubiously: I dunno if I like these changes... :watches button suspiciously from a corner:
Chapter 4 Author Note:
(Am I alone in thinking that the buttons are trying to take over the world?)
The Price of Freedom by The Plot Bunny Whisperer, a Harry Potter/Yu Yu Hakusho crossover fic.

The man took another step toward them, “Why hello there prettyblonde-chan! Say, have we met before?”
Naruto shook his head, confused. “Um, no? I think I’d recognize that mask anywhere…it is bright orange.”
Tobi’s voice was cheerful, “Like a pumpkin, mm? Say, you know what’s funny? Oranges and tangerines are the only fruit that’s orange right? But then how come pumpkins don’t taste anything like oranges or tangerines?”
Naruto stared at the queer man, completely baffled. “What are you talking about?”
Sasuke stiffened beside Naruto, and suddenly wrapped an arm around his waist and jumped to the side just before a clay bomb landed on the place they had been standing.
Tobi pouted, “Aw, my distraction tactic didn’t work at all Deidara-sempai!”
The artist jumped from his clay bird to the ground , annoyed as hell “Of course it didn’t work, un! You were supposed to actually distract them! Why the hell were you talking about fruit, un?!”
“I thought it was a good ice breaker, sempai!”
“TOBI YOU’RE A RETARD!!”
“No, Tobi’s a good boy Dei-”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI!!”
“Aw, sempai…don’t be like that!”
“I’LL KILL YOU!!”
Naruto and Sasuke watched from the sidelines in stunned silence as the two Akatsuki members effectively distracted each other. Sasuke still had Naruto pressed close to him, though they weren’t being attacked any more.
Naruto looked on, stupefied. “Um…this may just be my opinion…but after, you know your brother, and all the other Akatsuki I’ve met…I had the impression Akatsuki members were all sort of…”
“Imposing figures that easily demanded both your complete respect and or fear?” Sasuke answered dully.
“Yeah. And uh, not …”
“Having the attention span of a lobotomized squirrel on drugs?”
“Yep. That’s exactly it.”
Sasuke looked on as the still yelling Deidara began throwing tiny clay bombs at his partner’s feet, making Tobi jump around like a flea. “Hmm…I think they’re the crazy cousins that no one likes to talk about in regards to the Akatsuki family.”
“What’s Itachi?” Naruto asked.
“The psychotic son that likes to mind-fuck people.” The brunette deadpanned.
“What’s Kisame?”
“The psychotic son’s pet fish.”
The blond nodded. “Right-O….are we going to attack them?”
“Yeah.”
“Plan?”
“Kill the fool, I’ll incapacitate the blond and we’ll get info from him.”
Ambivalence by Genki-angel-chan, a Naruto fic.

...and screamed when he saw what he landed on.
A large ghoulish zombie sat up as it stared at Alex through a pair of sunken yellow eyes. Alex instantly scouted back as shock overrode his ability to rationalize. The creature made a swipe at him, and he felt hard flaky finger grab him...
"Inciendo!" he cried, as a large jet of flames blew out of his wand hitting the creature head first. Amidst the screams, Alex dimly heard another voice curse softly before he felt himself flung across the room into one of the green armchairs as a jet of water instantly put out his flames.
"Dammit, brat," cursed the voice, a very familiar voice, "That was my bed that you just destroyed."
Alex froze in horror as he slowly turned to face his father's furious face. Unfortunately for Alex, his mouth managed to recover before his mind...
"What in the hell was a zombie doing in your bed!" he blurted out, mindful that his father's ruby red eyes first blinked in surprise before narrowing in anger. Obviously, that was not what the Dark Lord wanted to hear...
Ignoring the dangers, Alex prodded onwards, "You weren't...you weren't doing that with it...were you?" he managed to squeak out, though his face was flaming red by the end of it. Though, Alex had to admit it wasn't his fault that he already knew about the 'birds and the bees!' In his old life, Sirus was by no means discrete about his relationships with his various girlfriends.
A look of confusion crossed Voldemort's face. "Brat...what are you..." he paused slightly, as realization and disbelief flashed across his eyes.
Unfortunately, Alex misinterpreted the spark in his father's eyes for something entirely different. With a groan, he buried his head in his hands as he tried to process the information. Personally, he would have never guessed in a million years that eh...zombies...were his father's type. With a shudder, he mentally banished the image that managed to surface in his 'Sirus-corrupted' mind.
"Look brat...I," hissed Voldemort pausing as he tried to gather his thoughts. First of all, what he wanted to know was how his charge was so...eh...well educated. As well as how the brat managed to come to such a preposterous conclusion. However, before he could finished his sentence, Alex suddenly launched himself (much to Voldemort's disgust) into the Dark Lord's arms.
"Father," he said quietly, as he gave his father a tight hug. "You don't have to explain yourself. I understand..."
Voldemort's eye ticked in annoyance. "Boy..."
Alex shook his head and buried himself deeper into his father's arms. "It's alright you know? I don't mind who you..." the boy made a face, "...do that with," he said gently, though he looked slightly green. "You're still my father, and I'll always care about you..."
The Dark Lord's eyes flickered once again at the boy's loyalty, however misplaced it might be. "Alex..."
"...but," Alex grimaced slightly before finally looking up and meeting his father's eyes. "...there's something I want to know."
"What?" hissed Voldemort, his voice tinted with frustration. 'Didn't the brat every stop talking?'
Alex paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "Eh...is it," he asked hesitantly, as he nodded towards the charred yet twitching figure lying on the bed. "...is that a guy or a girl," he managed to cough out, as he stared determinedly down at the pebbled ground.
Darkly Treacherous by xxlostdreamerxz, a Harry Potter fic.

“Harry,” said Draco as Harry sat down beside him again next Potions class.
“Draco,” he said and Draco smirked slightly.
“Potter?” Snape said, features twisted slightly.
“Sir,” said Harry.
“Professor Snape,” Draco said, nodding a bit.
“Malfoy?” Snape asked, turning to him.
“Well, at least you’re all acquainted,” Blaise said in a stage whisper as he passed by.
Being a Master at Ignoring the Obvious by sockpuppet82, a Harry Potter fic.

“Shit,” Ryoma curse, yanking his arm to no avail, “I didn't think helping a complete stranger with his misplaced belongings would land me with a stalker!”
“Yeah?” Hiruma breathed, his lips stretched into a cruel grin, “Well it just did. And congratulations, Fucking Prince you just landed yourself a boyfriend. I'm Hiruma Yoichi, and you?”
“You're not serious are you? There's so many things wrong with forcing people to be your lover, Hiruma Yoichi.”
“Yeah! It's great,” the cackle that followed these words proved just how much Hiruma was enjoying this. And it served to prove to Ryoma that he had absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into.
“So, Fucking Prince? A name?”
“...” Ryoma sighed, good-bye my privacy. And... “... Echizen Ryoma.”
Hello Mr. Demon.
MACHINATION by .tofu-melon, a Eyeshield 21/Prince Of Tennis crossover fic.

Tsunade perked up when she found the papers she was looking for. The paper work needed for the formation of treaty and for the Hokage of one village to enter another. She walked to the window and opened it, letting the cool wet air from the storm hit her face.
“Oops!” Tsunade gasped and she “accidentally” let go of the papers.
“Guess we will have to start that process over again, what a shame…”
Red Walkways by Sami065, a Naruto fic.

Five year old Harry Potter looked up and grinned. “They all have each other, don’t they? When I grow up, we can be together just like them, Edward!”
Blue Hour by Tylendal, a Harry Potter/Twilight crossover fic.

“I think you made him way too hot...”
She smiled victoriously. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It could be that he doesn’t know how to use it.”
Terry blinks. “Use it? Use what?”
“See?”
Tawny tsks. “Hmm. Okay, Terry, pretend I’m some macho guy.” She ruffles up her hair and untucks her shirt. “Hey, you...” she says in a low, bass voice.
Terry gives her an odd look. “Um, hey?”
“Wanna dance? I’ll spin you places you’ve never been before...”
Terry’s eyes widen. “Um, okay.”
Dick and Tawny both sigh. She looks at Dick. “Don’t leave him alone,” she says in her normal voice.
Batman Before by Wildfire2, a Batman Beyond fic.

"Congratulations on becoming Captain.”
“Thanks.”
“Now you will officially be drowned in paperwork and incompetent subordinates.”
“Yay.”
“Don’t forget having to break up make out sessions in the supply closets, walking in on your officers in some of the strangest positions, having subordinates offer sexual favors to get out of their duties, having no free time, and having quite literally no privacy.”
“Thank you for ruining my shining moment of triumph, Byakuya.”
The only response is a smug smirk.
Limitations by SanadaSayuri, a Bleach fic.

Kakashi sat there focusing his chakra building up the precise amount necessary for his task, he then quickly performed the hand seals ‘Tiger Snake Ram Rat Bird...’ And unleashed it, opening his eyes he found he’d failed…his ‘Paper Work do its self jutsu’ didn’t work.
Lost Son of Konoha by Fury Cutter, a FVII/Naruto crossover fic.

Wait for it... wait for it... Introducing:
THE FIRST AND ONLY FFVII - BLEACH XOVER!
The Path You Choose by BrokenMuse. And then I saw this. (sweatdrops)

...It's what separates "Let's eat children!" from "Let's eat, children!" (If you can't see the difference there, please do not invite me to your house for dinner.)
Errors That Aren't: 12 Grammar Rules You Can Toss Out the Window & Embarrassing Grammatical Mistakes by Martha Brockenbrough.

Manga: my anti-drug. Because when you're addicted to manga, how can you possibly afford drugs?

Random Quotes (stolen from somewhere...):

So in the end, Harry Potter killed Voldemort, but lost his memory. He went back to peaceful life, studied programming in college and lived happily until one day the screen of his computer flashed: “The Martix has you, Neo.”
"But Ocifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
"Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'
"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."
"The only thing a nonconformist hates more than a conformist is another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailent standard of nonconformity."
"The object in war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastards die for theirs."
"Duck tape is like the force. It has a light and dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"You're born, life's a bitch, then you die. Deal with it. (Besides, after all the bullshit you get reincarnated, so there's no point bitching about it.)"
"When faced with the dull-witted masses, it becomes readily apparent just how quick-witted one is."
"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."
"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive." ~Robert Heinlein.
"In order to keep a true perspective of one’s life, one must own a dog to worship him, and a cat to ignore him."
"1 million people walking past the parliament is a protest. 1 million people walking past with guns is a revolution."
"If life fucks with you, it means you’re still alive."
"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in."
"Wilson Mizner says: "When you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research." We must add in here, somewhere, that, if you put in a random disclaimer, you might get away with it in the court of law... Maybe."
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is 100 fatal."
"There's a nasty epidemic of heterosexuality afoot." ~Armistead Maupin
"Always behave like a duck. Keep calm and conserved above but paddle like crazy underneath."
"Who is to say what is a sin in God's eyes." Pearl (Scarlet Letter)
"If you aren't remembered, then you never existed." (Experimental Lain)
"Oh, no, I’m fine. I only feel like an angel who was sitting on cloud 9, playing my harp without a care in the world when all of a sudden my wings were Ripped off, sending me plummeting down to hell and the sulfurous Abyss of Pure Misery." Hideki (Chobits)
"Isn’t it rather dangerous to put one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?" Francis (Oliver & Company)
"When your man leaves you for another woman, the best revenge is to let her keep him."
"I've already wasted my whole life. I want to tell you with my last breath that I have always loved you. I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without you." Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." Lynn Lavner

“My god. Do we really suck or is this guy really that good?”
~ Hertz, after wasting countless hours, manpower, guns and one near death experience courtesy of Smith, chasing after a baby. Shoot ‘Em Up, 2007.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'Maybe we should just be friends' or 'How very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."
~ Rose Walker, Sandman

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
Woody Allen, Love and Death

Great occasions do not make heros or cowards;
they simply unveil them to the eyes of men.
Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or weak;
and at last some crisis shows what we have become.
~Brooke Foss Westcott

For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character, and although I have not been willing to engage in his attacks on me, I've been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation: Being President of this country is entirely about character. For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a couple of minutes ago.America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free". I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it. Nobody has ever won an election by talking about what I was just talking about. This is a country made up of people with hard jobs that they're terrified of losing. The roots of freedom are of little or no interest to them at the moment. We are a nation afraid to go out at night. We're a society that has assigned low priority to education and has looked the other way while our public schools have been decimated. We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious men to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, friend, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and personal character. And you hold up an old photo of the President's girlfriend. You scream about patriotism and you tell them she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through law school, prosecute criminals for five years, represent the interests of public school teachers for two years, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league. I've loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other 'cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job. Well, that ends right now. Tomorrow morning, the White House is sending a bill to Congress for its consideration. It's White House Resolution 455, an energy bill requiring a 20 percent reduction of the emission of fossil fuels over the next ten years. It is by far the most aggressive stride ever taken in the fight to reverse the effects of global warming. The other piece of legislation is the crime bill. As of today, it no longer exists. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out and I'm writing a law that makes sense. You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security, and I will go door to door if I have to, but I'm gonna convince Americans that I'm right, and I'm gonna get the guns. We've got serious problems, and we need serious men to solve them, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious men, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I am the President.
~ President Andrew Shepherd, The American President

Being tolerant, understanding, and loving is not wrong...no matter who someone loves

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

(Stolen from mandy-san's profile & I stole-err... borrowed it from Lina03's profile. )

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Yaaaay kitty!
Copy the kitty-chan to your presentation to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side. (We have cookies!)

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