Say no to cannibilsm. Friends don't let Friends eat Friends.Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! if you belive in GOD put this in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull copy this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. I'm the 2 percent that hasn't.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

Boldly Going Nowhere

Always and never are two words you should always remembernever to use.

Funny Thoughts

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?

What did cured ham actually have?

Nice doggy

My brakes are fine.

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

So, you're a cannibal

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
--Michael L. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
--Weinberg

'Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revoling door.'

'I'm a palm reader: Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry, you'll live through it...'

'Guys are like port-o-potties, the good ones are taken, the bad ones are full of crap.'

'You laugh at me because I'm strange, I laugh at you because your stupid.'

'If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalks!'

'Procrastinators unite! tomorrow...'

'Never hire a colorblind electrition...' (hey! thats not nice!)

'Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I lost it...'

'My mind works like lightning, one brillant flash and its gone!'

'I brake for...CRAP NO BRAKES!'

'They're two types of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.'

'All men are animals...some just make better pets.'

'If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is defiently not for you.'