Hello! My name is Mayfire, I'm a girl whose age is a number, my favorite colors are: purple, pink, light blue, and gold. I love chocolate, tacos, pizza and pasta. That's about all you can know about my life unless I PM you otherwise

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

7.My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

10. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into. this world, and I can take you out."

11. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

12. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

13.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

14. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

15. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

16.And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Good friend V.S. Best friend

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.
A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend helps you find your prince.
A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda.
A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.
A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry.
A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number.
A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend knows all your best stories.
A best has lived them with you.

A good friend rings the door bell before entering your home.
A best friend enters your home uninvited and shouts "I'M HOME!"

A good friend calms you down when your angry.
A best friend will skip beside you with a baseball bat singing "Someone's Gonna get it!"

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son; people call her a slut and no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat; no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly; no one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. People call a women bald, but they don't know she has cancer. The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. And the boy you teased for crying, his mother is dying. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't do it.

Cheesey pick-up line replys

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both.
You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: Want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: "Well you're just a little Southern Belle, arn't ya?"
Woman: "Actually I'm more like a Southern Gong."

Man: I'm God's gift to women.
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

Man: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of Heaven?
Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked you out of Hell?

Mayfire21