JammyDodgerGirl27
 Author has written 4 stories for Doctor Who, Firefly, and Avengers. I like to read books, watch Doctor who, and Sherlock, and Supernatural, I changed my username, it had been AmyOswin27 1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Broke a sink. 2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? A monkey. 3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I don't know. 4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN To? Good. 5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 12:12p.m. 6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? to watch Doctor Who. 7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Amy Pond. 8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? I don't know. 9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'something. 10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Not really. 11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Sometimes. 12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Umm again. 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? Don't have one. 14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? Not really sure. Dark hair, dark eyes. 15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? I don’t know, but hopefully somewhere meaningful. 16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Neither. 17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? meat or cheese. 18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Biscuits and gravy. 20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Nope. 21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECIEVED? Don't remember. 22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? not answering. 23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? no. 24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Ummmm... 26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? yes. 27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Fish. 28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I can’t really help who I fall in love with… 29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? I don't know. 30. TYPE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 93&1/2 31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Trick question? 32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? My mom, 33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? When people call him Doctor who instead of The Doctor! 34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Nope. 35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Grammar. 36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Jesus. 37. FIRST JOB? Not yet. 38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? No. 39. DO YOU SWEAR? No. 40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUT? Reading Fanfichon and pintesting. 41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? yes. 42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? That I'm pretty and I look like my mom. 43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes, 44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? Don't know. 45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? A lot. 46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My mom. 47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No. 49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Tress-emme 50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Eh.. 51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey and ham. 52. ANY BAD HABITS? Hmmm... Let me think 53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? None 54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes! 56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Maybe? 57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Scream, cry. 58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? My church and the woods. 60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Don't know. 61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? A few. 62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? No idea 63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Me?! Nooo! ;) 64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed potatoes. 65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Smart, sweat and kind. 66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? I don't have one. 67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? Don't know. 68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW/S? DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Firefly. And Sherlock. 69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? Not yet. 70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Mint cookies and cream. 71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Yes. 72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Uhhhh…. Haha… 73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? Yes there is. 74. WHAT'S THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 85 or thereabouts(I wasn't driving) 75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Sure, whateves 76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? What ever my B.F.F. plays. 78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom. 79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? Don't know. 80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? Umm… 81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Orcs. 82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? May. 83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? I don't do zodiac 85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Brown 86. EYE COLOR? Brown. 89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Don't know. 90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? NOOOO! 91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Wholock stuff. 92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Don't know. 93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? Piano a little. 94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? I don’t really know.. 95. KISSES OR HUGS? Hmmm... 96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships 97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Candy. 98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I don't have a car:) 99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? LOTR. Not enough room on page. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile.yeah...that it tootly me ;D. I belive in the one true god. (\)_(/) Friends vs Best Friends: FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're a jerk, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DARN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Help you find your prince... BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you... FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying... BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry... FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda... BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you... FRIENDS: Ask for a tissue... BEST FRIENDS: Use your shirt as a tissue... FRIENDS: Ask to sleep over... BEST FRIENDS: Already have their clothes packed... FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this! Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile. A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile. 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :) If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile. if you have ever run into a telephone pole, copy this onto your profile. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one. As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.” A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them. When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone. Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow. Living your life is more important than making a living. If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever write FanFictions when you should be doing homework, paying attention in class, etc., put this on your profile!! If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy this into your profile!! If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile. If songs get stuck in your head so constantly that you know the words them copy and paste this to your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. You are a writer IF... -Ifyou talk to yourself. (Alll the time...Shakes head sadly) If you sometimes wonder if you were born in the wrong era, copy and paste this into your profile. If you feel that classical music is AWESOME, but under appreciated by others, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Jesus rocks, copy and paste this in your profile! Before He went to heaven, He promised to come back for His children. If you believe that Jesus WILL return one day, copy and paste this in your profile. Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile Please read-true story (not me) 95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this into your profile Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus who died on the cross then copy and paste this in your profile Fanfiction is for people who have a pen and know how to use it. Fanfiction is for elves and wizards trapped in human bodies. Fanfiction is for people who ditched reality and went for something different. O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O* When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all. Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head Fun flies when you’re doing time. Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway 'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.' Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way. Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops. The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY! Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life,FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard,Sweetpanda12, SamCarter121314, Gigigue Epic Elven Warrior Princess, TimeyWimeyGirl AmyOswin27 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :) If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile. A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over a bug, put this on your profile. If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile. I AM NOT GAY!!! I will not judge gay people, or hate them. I will be friends with them, I will talk with them, but I am NOT GAY! SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile. if you have ever run into a telephone pole, copy this onto your profile. if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it?" Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one. As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.” A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them. When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone. Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow. Living your life is more important than making a living. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,VMsuperfan, SVUlover, daisy617, Jammylmd. Musiclvr320, F29DWNxluverx4, oxlovelyxo, xoxojonasbrothersluva101xoxo, mamaXUnicorn, liveindreamland1- MySupermanJoeDJDangaa, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul., Legolas Thranduilion,TimeyWimeyGirl Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimeKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, pirateswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Nazgul Queen, Admiral Norrington, iamanundeadmonkey, LoveSquaredTichan, icestar14, ServantofSauron, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul, Legolas Thranduilion, Broken-Rose-Thornesxoxo,TimeyWimeyGirl AmyOswin27 If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile. If songs get stuck in your head so constantly that you know the words them copy and paste this to your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. I am insane. Literally. Not someone who would be thrown into a padded room crazy (even though it would be fun) but I am crazy. I listen to soundtracks and know what part of the movie it’s at. I throw my books at the wall (because I love to read) and then feel sorry because I hurt it. I yell at inanimate objects. I still get mad when something bad happens to a character in a movie or a book even though I’ve seen it a bazillion times. The library is my second home. I read books over and over again until I have them memorized and I still read them. I still think it's funny to make duck beaks with Pringles and I laugh when the ketchup farts. I forget where i put things, get mad when I can't find them, and then laugh when I do find them. I can't remember what I did an hour ago, let alone 5 minutes ago. so yeah, I’m crazy. IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. You are a writer IF... -Ifyou talk to yourself. (Alll the time...Shakes head sadly) If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste If you've ever wondered how long a profile can be, copy and paste Rant:Legolas' last name is not 'Greenleaf'!! Greenleaf is the English translation of Legolas' name! His proper last name is 'Thranduilion', which means 'son of Thranduil'. So, do not call him Legolas Greenleaf! If you sometimes wonder if you were born in the wrong era, copy and paste this into your profile. If you feel that classical music is AWESOME, but under appreciated by others, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN--are made for each other and that, no matterhowawesomely awesome Captain Jack Sparrow may be, he shouldnever, underanycircumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you believe that the curse of the Flying Dutchman is broken and Will and Elizabeth will be together forever with their son, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Jesus rocks, copy and paste this in your profile! Before He went to heaven, He promised to come back for His children. If you believe that Jesus WILL return one day, copy and paste this in your profile. Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile. Please read-true story (not me) If you sometimes find yourself narrating your life as if you were writing a story, copy and paste this in your profile. 95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this into your profile Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus who died on the cross then copy and paste this in your profile Fanfiction is for people who have a pen and know how to use it. Fanfiction is for elves and wizards trapped in human bodies. Fanfiction is for people who ditched reality and went for something different. O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O* When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all. Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head Fun flies when you’re doing time. Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway 'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.' Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way. Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops. The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY! Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. Friends vs Best Friends: FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're a jerk, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DARN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Help you find your prince... BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you... FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying... BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry... FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda... BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you... FRIENDS: Ask for a tissue... BEST FRIENDS: Use your shirt as a tissue... FRIENDS: Ask to sleep over... BEST FRIENDS: Already have their clothes packed... FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this! I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life,FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard,Sweetpanda12, SamCarter121314, Gigigue Epic Elven Warrior Princess, TimeyWimeyGirl AmyOswin27 Repost this if you truly believe in God. Without GOD, our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday. Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD. Seven days without GOD will make one weak. If You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. If You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason If Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 1 If You talk to yourself a lot. Awesome Quotes "They have a cave troll." -Boromir, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring "What are you going to do?" "Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them at least I am allowed a little peace from your foolish questions!" -Pippin and Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring "Let's hunt some orc!" -Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring "What's going on out there!" "Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?" -Gimli and Legolas, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers "It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something." "What are we holding on to, Sam?" "That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for." -Sam and Frodo, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf." "What about side by side with a friend?" "Aye, I could do that." -Gimli and Legolas, The Lord of the Rings: The Returne of the King "Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you STAND, MEN OF THE WEST!" -Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King "Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the entire street." -Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Four serial suicides and now a note! It's Christmas! -Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock "Shut up everybody! Shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breath, I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off." -Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor “An apple a day will keep anyone away if well aimed.” “I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!” It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is. Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. Never doubt the power of an extremely ticked off woman Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up. Two men walk into a bar, the third ducks One day your prince will come. Then where is he? He took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions. People who don't know me think I'm quiet, people who do wish I were. Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise. Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door. If you can read this, my cloaking device is broken. “Good morning! Due to your arrival, I see that the assassins I hired have failed...miserably.” “In a dog-eat-dog-eat-cat world, the best thing to do is become a goldfish.” “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns one on, I go into another room and read a book.” “I intend to live forever, or die trying.” “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” “Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Somebody, go find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail of what this report is saying.” If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. I live in my own little world. But that's okay; they know me there. If you can't convince them, confuse them If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Don't make me mad... I'm known to bite at random Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!! Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. I didn't invent sarcasm, but I perfected it When you’re bored and want something to do, open your text book and start writing, "Terrorist attack at 3:00 AM" on all the pages, then give it to a cop. When he asks who wrote this, say your teachers name and take him to the school. When your teacher tells you to solve a problem on the board, go up there and start writing her life story. Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid. Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Smile. It scares people. What does not kill me had better run pretty darn fast! PMS - Possible Murder Suspect As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the heck is my ceiling?" I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay. Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice! Curiosity killed whoever got in my way. I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up. There are very few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away If you laugh I will laugh If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh harder If it starts actually raining cats and dogs, don't go outside (the answering machine) Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. (end answering machine) My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason! Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly Bleach and latex gloves: $10... Plastic wrap, trash bags and duct tape: $ 20...Chainsaw: $200. The Horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS! A friend would help you up when you trip and fall. A best friend would laugh, trip you again, then laugh some more!(: Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution." I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?! My mission is accomplished. I ran down the street, threw skittles at people, said "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" so it was a good day I am so talented I can fall up the stairs, trip on flat surfaces, and get hit by a parked car. Aren't I just amazing? :) sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say 'YOU'RE IT!!' and then run away I wonder if anyone else has road rage when pushing a cart through the aisles at Wal-Mart? The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!" When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder. Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary Sarcastic?! ME?! Never! Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait I'm smiling. That alone should scare you Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional What you're looking for is always in the last place you look..." Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!" When life gives you lemons, Throw them back and yell "I want oranges" If a turtle is missing its shell is it homeless or naked? here's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird The voices and I took a vote, and your insane (On a T-Shirt) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt? Normal people worry me. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm not random I just have many thoughts Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. When in doubt, push random buttons! It's okay to talk to inanimate objects, its when they talk back that you should be worried A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk; I have a work station... When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!! Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls. If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this! For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with Roxas (KH 2) that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of French vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the French Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual ipod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why you're wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you respond to that little voice in the back of your head. Crazy is when you have a conversation with an inanimate object. Crazy is when you have dreams of ballet shoes taking over the world and possessed sheep attacking you. Crazy is walking into big, yard-thick poles. Crazy is going to the movies in costume or going to school in costume. Crazy is when you can recite the whole Sweeney Todd movie to people who haven't seen it yet. Crazy is when you start singing the Hogwarts school song while going down a rollercoaster. Crazy is when you paint your face school colors, duct tape your arms and legs school colors and wave pom poms around while running up and down around the stadium- area-place-thing shouting "I LOVE JACK SPARROW! and not caring what people say. Crazy is when you skip around the lunch tables singing "The Cat and The Moon" song from the Lord of the Rings Musical. --Crazy is when you use elvish in conversation with somone who doesn't have a clue what your saying. Crazy is when you speak elvish and when you get weird looks from someone you mutter insults at them (in elvish) and walk away. Crazy is when you have a two day marathon with your LOTR crazy best friend and do nothing but improv Merry and Pippin. Crazy is when you name your polythene sword and give it an inscripton in elvish. Crazy is when you go barefoot just for the heck of it. Crazy is when you make Lembas. Crazy is when you call people "Fool of a Took". Crazy is when you go to the midnight premier of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in 3-D, in costume, announce to the other people in line that your crazy, and then play Star Wars Trivia and can't be stumped. Crazy is when you notice every single person with curly hair and think of them as hobbits. Crazy is when you carry a lightsaber in public... all the time. Crazy is when you try to figure out a way to carve Elvish into your sonic screwdriver. Sent your self a snapchat from your friends phone.If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! 10 reasons not to mess with a child Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”. Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.” Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?” Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ” Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.” Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples. Reason 8 After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." Reason 9 A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh . . . Then why do you keep crossing things out?" Reason 10 The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook." For all you fanfic writers out there who are having a hard time not writing a bad quality story, here's an article I came across which helped me, and may help you. Literary Bloomers (By the editors of The Cambridge Literary and Scientific Society. This article can be found here: cambridge-society.blogspot.com/2012/11/literary-bloomers.html) We confess that of our articles so far, this has been one of the most enjoyable to write, as well as one of the easiest; for, in order to compile a list of literary mistakes, all that was necessary was to mull over all the books we do not like and consider why we do not like them. When something in a book makes us dislike a book, chances are that it makes other people dislike the book as well, and, as we want people to like our own books, these things are best avoided. As much as many of us dislike poorly-written stories, literary flops afford excellent learning opportunities to writers and innocent amusement to the rest of the public. Even in well-written books we have often found things that we think the authors should have done differently, and felt the story was slightly spoilt because of it. But we have often observed that a bad book is a better teacher than a good one because it demonstrates what not to do when writing a story and it demonstrates it more clearly because it is easier to say why you don’t like something than it is to say why you do. We have taken the pleasure of compiling a list of our favourite authorial mistakes, first as to story, and second as to characters. If you find that you yourself are guilty of some of these blunders listed, don’t despair. Many of the following are mistakes that we the editors made in our past careers and include them, not only to warn other authors from rocky shoals, but to remind ourselves not to make the same mistakes again. Boring Stretches Boring parts of your story should frighten you—they’ll often frighten your readers clean away from your book. One of the greatest secrets of good story-writing is that boringness can almost always be done away with. From Ghent to Aix When you need to get your character from one point of the story to another (whether in time or place) how do you do it without slogging into a slough of tedium? It can be done, although to do so takes creativity and hard work. Still, hard work on your part makes easy work for your readers; be sure to cut out of your story long portions of wasted time. Over-Explanation Our rule of right thumb (as we are right handed) is: ‘Don’t tell the reader what he can figure out for himself.’ Stories with any kind of mystery need to explain the mystery at some point (usually), but this can be done through a variety of ways and not necessarily through a character explaining everything. Especially avoid making the villain explain. Villains, rather like Mary Poppins, never explain anything. If they do, they lose half of their villainous mystique. One under-used way of explaining things to the audience is through the main character’s perspective. Authors tend to make all the explaining done to the main character, but audiences like a smart protagonist who can figure things out for himself. Repetition Avoid repeating things. Kipling’s Just So Stories and other children’s books utilise excessive repetition, but mature readers (e.g. over the age of six) will likely find such methods dull and juvenile. Duncan Donuts Overt and obvious suspense loses an audience. They know that the hero is not going to have a huge boulder dropped on top of him and that he is not going to fall a million feet to the canyon floor. Thus, ending the chapter (or episode) with this kind of obvious suspense will not really keep your readers on the edges of their seats. Over-use of suspense turns a story into a cheap thriller—a book whose sole purpose is to entertain the reader without regard to eloquence and culture. Elitism Although we are very fond in general of old books, we do not believe that just because people lived in the nineteenth century they were good writers. Elitism is rampant in older books and American books are not exempt (they tend to be worse, on occasion). Elitism is the view that certain people are smarter than other people simply because they are well-born, more moral because they have received a better education, more beautiful because they are rich, more worthy because they are red Indians, and the list goes on. To make a well-born man in your story intelligent is not necessarily elitism: elitism lies in thinking that because a man is well-born, therefore he must be intelligent—a sort of Calvinistic pre-damning of a person based on intrinsic and unchangeable qualities rather than on his own actions and choices. Another common form of elitism is making the heroine marry a duke or other high-born person because a commoner is not good enough for her (implied but rarely stated by the author); or, alternatively, making the hero start out a pauper in order to prove that one does not have to be rich or well-born to be a hero, and then making him turn out to be an earl’s long lost son at the end because you do not believe your own premise. Foregone Conclusion Readers love to predict what is going to happen in a story, but they like even better to be surprised by the author, and the last thing you as the author want is for a reader to get tired of your book because he knows what will happen. One of the most common ways to make a story predictable is to use stock scenarios. If a princess is locked in a tower, the readers know that sooner or later a knight in shining armour will appear to rescue her. This is an obvious scenario and really not used that often, but how about this example: a little boy brings home a lost dog. His parents don’t like the dog and only let it stay on trial. The average reader can guess from this set-up that the dog will save the boy’s life (probably by dragging him from a burning building), get his picture in the paper, and live with the adoring family for the rest of his life. Or take this story: the children’s parents warn them not to do something (i.e. skate on the pond); the children disobey and suffer disastrous results (either drown or are invalids for the rest of the winter). Too many books and short stories have been written with these scenarios and they are now considered ‘stock.’ Non Sequiter On the other hand, don’t surprise the reader by ruining the story. Leading your readers on to expect something in the story and then making something completely different happen can make your story an instant success or a hopeless failure, depending solely on how you do it. Making your heroine jilt her lifelong friend for a character who just popped into the story for two seconds, and then thumbing your nose at your readers and saying, ‘Ha, ha! Thought she was going to marry the other guy, didn’t you?’ will not win you fans. Likewise, although you may not approve of resurrecting people at the end of a story, keep in mind that some characters just don’t die convincingly. Example: chap with a gammy leg appears in chapter one and seems to be someone important. Chap disappears and is later said to have been killed in war. Sanguine readers, however, sit patiently waiting for him to reappear and all characters with gammy legs fall under their immediate suspicion. At the end of the story when the chap from the first chapter (or prologue, as it may be) still has not shown up, the readers feel that somehow the story isn’t over—the author forgot something—when is the chap with the gammy leg going to show up? It is no use for the author to say, ‘But I told you—he was killed in the war!’ The author didn’t tell them that, one of the characters in the story told them that, and they didn’t believe him because the author told them something entirely different by making the chap appear to be someone important to the story in chapter one. Rule of index finger: Chappies with gammy legs don’t die. Ha ha hmm… Humour is a good tension reliever, but some authors (predominately contemporary ones) use excessive amounts of rather stale or imbecile humour in poorly-chosen locations, such as the denouement. Also note: repeating a good joke makes it a bad joke. Jo’s Hat A jo’s hat is generally intentionally perpetrated by the aspiring author and occurs when something in the story is there simply to be cool and does not really make logical sense. When the villain clutches Jo by the throat and Jo’s hat falls down the stairwell, clattering like a hard hat when it is a soft hat (this was done in a movie and not a book, but the principle applies to both), the director is only interested in the violent echoes caused by this alogism; he does not care that soft hats don’t make noise when they fall down stairwells. Sometimes, however, jo’s hats are caused by the innocent inattention of the author. For instance, when a character refers to an old college buddy of his, and a second character later relates that said person never went to college, it is simply because the author was not paying attention. Justification An author generally justifies a character because he has the uncomfortable feeling that what the character is doing is wrong. If you feel the urge to justify a character, analyse his actions and make sure they do not deviate from sound biblical doctrine. If they do, change them or punish them; don’t justify them. Sometimes an author justifies a character before other characters in the story because he cannot bear to have his character misjudged by others. Life is all about being misjudged; don’t justify. Misplaced Climax The climax typically comes near the end of the story because that is what the audience want most to read. After the climax they are more easily lost. The main mistake of a misplaced climax is making some other event in the story more climactic than the climax. This can be difficult to avoid, but if at all possible rework the story so your audience are not disappointed with an anti-climactic climax. Necessary Evil The necessary evil is something in a story which does not make logical sense, but which must happen in order for the story to work. For example, there is no particular reason for a bad guy to wear a mask when he is obviously the bad guy, but the author requires him to so that the hero will not recognise him until the end. Sappiness Romantic drivel is unpleasant to the practical sensibilities of many readers. Apparently many people are fond of it, but we believe it better avoided. For instance, don’t make your hero climb a tree to catch a glimpse of the object of his affections, then swoon and fall out of the tree to be rescued by the lady. This sort of thing does not happen in real life (although it really did happen in a sappy book) and nobody really wants it to. The Dripping Voice Dialogue should be original; unfortunately, some authors appear to think that saying how someone said the dialogue should be original too. The only quotative verbs really needed are the two words ‘said’ and ‘asked,’ but some authors seem to think these words are stale and repetitive and so make up their own alternatives. In one book an author went so far as to write, ‘My voice dripped with disappointment.’ This conveys the wrong picture to the reader. ‘Said’ may be used over and over, and the reader never notices because it is unobtrusive. An author may vary ‘said’ with ‘exclaimed,’ ‘muttered,’ or ‘explained’ if he wishes, and ‘demanded,’ ‘repeated,’ ‘vociferated,’ and such may be used as long as they are not over-used. Words like ‘agreed’ and ‘questioned’ as quotative verbs are right out because they distract the reader and interrupt the flow of the dialogue. Words such as ‘bubbled,’ ‘gushed,’ and ‘enthused’ are not only ridiculous but also make your dialogue sound like attempted Tom Swifties. Example: ‘I’ll never try this experiment again!’ the professor exploded. Vale of Tears This is another Victorian-era gaffe caused by the illogical idea that the more people who die in a book, the better a book it is. We have read several of these and they were not all from the nineteenth century, either. Of particular note was one book which started out with the heroine’s father dying in the second or third chapter, went on to chronicle the death of several other family members, two or three of the heroine’s children (while preserving one or two as chronic invalids), and wrapping up by knocking off the heroine herself—a definite ending point, yet demonstrating a certain lack of preconceived purpose. Character Goofs Some of the most destructive mistakes are made with characters. Characters are living, breathing entities, but some authors treat them as paper dolls to merely fill roles in a story. Other authors forget that characters grow and change and, if an author is not careful, become something other than they were intended to be. And still other authors create wonderful characters and neglect them shamefully, never realising their full potential. Thus, we devote the second half of this article to blunders of character. Author’s Pet Authors get attached to their characters on occasion. There is nothing wrong with liking your characters, but sometimes you may be so overt about it that the character annoys your audience. Human nature is such that the audience will rejoice in the downfall of a character who is too perfect or too preferred. Bad Hat A bad hat is a hero who is supposed to be good but is actually quite bad, such as Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, or John Wayne in many of his movies. Falling Star Some heroes—and other characters—start out great and then let the audience down by gradually getting less great as the story progresses. Most often this happens when the character falls in love with someone; this usually makes him act rather silly and get on the audience’s nerves. Mysterious characters, too, can let the audience down when the mystery is lifted and they turn out to be only ordinary people. The best way to avoid this mistake is to wait until the end of the story to clear up all the mystery about the character. Even better is to retain one or two mysterious things about him that are never explained, even at the end. Flunkey The readers should not be too much smarter than the main character. There is no suspense when the main character discovers something that the audience has known for several chapters. Fresh Fruit Some authors make the love interest a jerk. This is not generally a good way to make your audience like him. Guilty Until Proven Innocent We are greatly adverse to unfairness of any kind; even if it be to a fictional character. A bad guy who is bad because the author needs him to be and not because he is intrinsically bad, claims our, and the audience’s, sympathy. There are always reasons for a bad guy to be bad—he enjoys it, he’ll get something out of it, he has borne a grudge against the hero since they were kids, etc. They may not be good reasons, but a bad guy (and an author) can always find them. Making a character bad just because you want someone to pick on your hero is a waste of a good opportunity: always make the most of your villain and make sure he has a reason for doing what he does. Lomike This is a man or boy who does not act like a man or boy but rather more like a girl. This mistake is the result of the author being a woman. On the other hand, a Diverne is a woman or girl who acts too masculine. This can be a result of masculine authorship or simply a result of a woman author who believes girls are better behaving as boys. Avoid both mistakes. Mannequin Whoever coined the term stuffed shirt allotted to it the wrong meaning—that of a pedant or a prude. The term brings to our minds a character whose only function is to fill a role—usually that of the romantic interest—and fills it as a dummy—a flat, shapeless mass with no true personality or character. In real life certain people may certainly look as if they were stuffed shirts, but everyone has more deep down inside him than stuffing. Every character in a book should be real and alive. Mr. Blueweather Named for an actual character in a story, this is a person without fault who drops lofty judgements from Mount Parnassus down on the heads of refractory characters. He is tedious and universally disliked by the audience, and is only in the story so that the author can preach a sermon to his readers. There are better (and subtler) ways to preach sermons besides putting an annoying character in your books. Mr. Nice Guy This character is usually used in war stories and plays the part of an enemy soldier who is nice because the author wants his audience to know that he doesn’t think all Germans (British, red Indians, etc.) are bad. Characters should not be thrown into a story solely to prove a point. Therefore a bad guy whom the author makes nice so that the author can prove he is not biased is a waste of time and generally a shoddy addition to any story. Nancy Drew Mystery stories specialise in sleuths who read impossible meanings into cryptic clues. These amateur detectives usually are captured multiple times by the villain during the story and escape in easy and obvious ways. Peter Pan In a story that spans several years, the author must not forget to make his characters grow up. Some authors never make a character mature and he rapidly outgrows himself, becoming tiresome to the readers. Show Stealer This is a character who takes centre stage when he didn’t start out the main character. In a story with multiple main characters this is unfairness and favouritism on the part of the author. He has a right to do what he likes with his own story, but the audience may never forgive his character if he elbows out their respective favourites. Stereotype Stereotypes are a lot of fun, but only when they are used humorously or to prove a point. An author who makes all Americans cowboys or all Frenchmen chefs simply because he doesn’t know anything about Americans or Frenchmen is committing a sad blunder that the Americans and Frenchmen who read his stories may enjoy at his expense. Super Hero All heroes should be great, but people who want super heroes read Nietzsche or Marvel comics. Most people want a hero who has problems and weaknesses like everyone else and whom they can sympathise with. Venus Always a woman, she is a surpassingly lovely character who receives proposals of marriage from every man in the story. Like the super hero, she gets on the audience's nerves. Villainous Villain of Villainy A super villain is more forgivable than a super hero, but an audience usually likes a villain who is a real person and has real problems and weaknesses like the hero. He can be smarter than the hero and should certainly be more mysterious, but he should seem as if he could really exist. Conclusion: While we have listed many things that we personally feel ought not to be done in a story, it is true that any one of them may be effected by an author with success. For instance, unrealistically evil villains are sometimes splendid additions to a story, jo’s hats and tom swifties may add subtle humour, and boring stretches could (and on occasion have) become the most fascinating parts of the book. Everything depends on how an author ‘pulls it off.’ The insidious nature of these bloomers lies in their ability to pass undetected by the author, because they are only errors when they are unintentional. Therefore, to point them out to other authors and to describe why we ourselves find them objectionable, we hope, has been a useful endeavour. If you read that entire article, it is either because you really want to improve your writing, or because you have way to much extra time on your hands. Either way, I congratulate you. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, do. I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, then I realized -- look what's telling me that. I'm out of my mind right now, but you may leave a message One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity One day we'll all look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject... Don't follow me, I walk into walls. Duct tape is like the "Force" It has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together There is no 'normal', only varying levels of weirdness. "Change is good. If you walk in the same direction your whole life, you will eventually hit a tree." So far, this is the oldest i have ever been. Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. Since the universe is infinite than everything is its center, therefore I shall no longer accept any argument to the effect that I am not the center of the universe Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. OK, so what's the speed of dark? When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it! I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me there. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all. Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head Fun flies when you’re doing time. Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway 'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.' Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where is the ceiling?! Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with dumb people. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops. The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY! Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. My reality check bounced. If you can't convince them, confuse them. What happens if you get scared half to death... twice? I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. You always get what's coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail. Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place. Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Forecast for tonight: darkness If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. How come when you mix water with flower, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm not random I just have many thoughts I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes If you cannot understand my mind, then I have succeeded in being original. We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction! The below statement is true The above statement is false Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop! Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later. There is no great genius without a mixture of madness When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret! You should always proofread what you write in case you any words. I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you. Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks? If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug? I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty! Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water! Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly. The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures." You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!" Whoever said nothing is impossible, obviously never tried to slam a revolving door. God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women. I hear your silence loud and clear Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow? Education is important, school however, is another matter. Don’t mess with me I've got a stick. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality. Life's Tough, get a helmet The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths The cops never find it as funny as you do War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.. If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and be quiet. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby. Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! It's rude! Don't look at me in that tone of voice! It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. Okay, that rip in the time-space continuum was so not my fault...ish. My voices tell me that your voices are dorks. Oh! Look, a distraction! Sometimes, when I hear a song on the radio, I'm like red, green, red, blue, yellow. Normal is a setting on a dryer. In case of emergency, break dance. Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen and Jacob Black or had their minds poisoned by Justin Bieber or One Direction are quickly becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Do it… DO IT NOW! (\)_(/) This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she slipped down it as usual. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You are never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile. 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!" 18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match. Let's just get ONE thing straight. If you tickle me, I am not responsible for your injuries REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! (That's always fun! WOOSH!) 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MUAHAHAHA cough cough! MUAHAHAHA! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! (Now that's always fun!) 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! (*Evil smirk*) 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. WORLD DOMINATION! And the dark side is sooo much better than the good side! (You don't want me in charge of the world... But.. I'll still rule you even though that's a terrible idea.) 9.You get to wear a white lab coat (I thought bad guys wore black?) 10.You can access our stock of cool evil gadgets (Ekat gadgets!) 11.You get to wear tall black shiny boots and a black shiny belt! 12.You get to wear creepy masks (Hehe!) 13. Key word: POWER you get lots of it (see 8) 14.All of the black capes have cool inside pockets to hold stuff... like food... 15.We get a vacation unlike the Jedi's (I thought "evil never takes a vacation"?) 16.We can do dangerous things like sky diving or eating chili or sunbathing (Sky diving! I'm in! Just make sure Zeus is happy) 17.We get to order our minions around (=) I get to tell someone what to do and they have to listen to me!) 18.When no one is looking, we have funny faces contests 19.We love to mix stuff in the blenders and dare each other to drink it 20.Sometimes, we hijack the TV studios and make our own commercials (Cause everyone loves commercials!) And other reasons! Find out more when you join us! JOIN THE DARK SIDE WITH ME AND PhoenixDemon58!and I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life,FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard,Sweetpanda12, SamCarter121314, Gigigue Epic Elven Warrior Princess, TimeyWimeyGirl, AmyOswin27, This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she slipped down it as usual. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You are never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile. |
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