Hey people of Earth and possibly Mars, my name’s Mariah and this is a bunch of random junk about me!

I’m partially blind; I can only see a little bit out of the sides of my eyes. I use something called a screen-reader to do all of my computer stuff; and that does just what it sounds like, it reads what’s on the computer screen to me.

I’m currently 23 and a grad student. (Yes, I know, total nurd)

I’m really random and sarcastic and am probably the worst speller in the history of the world.

I have a Seeing Eye dog whose probably the coolest being on the planet, and who has given me a level of freedom I can’t even describe. If anyone wants a good cause to donate to, the Seeing Eye Dog School in NJ is the best!

Anyways.

I love reading and writing. I got out of fanfiction but am trying my hand again while I work on my own novel.

My current favorite series of books are the Dresden Files Novels by Jim Butcher. Seriously people, read them they are the best!!

Here's a list of some of my favorite book series.

Dresden Files Series by Jim Butcher

In Death Series by J. D. Robb

Darkest Powers Series by Kelley Armstrong (Don’t forget about The Gathering which takes place in the same universe just with different characters)

Women of the Otherworld Series by Kelley Armstrong (Takes place before Darkest Powers)

Mediator Series by Meg Cabot

Persephone Alcmedi Series by Linda Robertson

Guild Hunter Series by Nalini Singh

Kate Daniels Series by Ilona Andrews

Alex Rider Series by Anthony Horowitz

Cal Leandros Series by Rob Thurman

Joe Hunter Series by Matt Hilton

Elemental Series by Brigid Kemmerer

I Hunt Killers Series by Barry Lyga

Joe Pickett Series by C. J. Box

I'll list fav shows later. No telling what I'll be posting for.

I'm really sorry for anyone who actually gets into anything I post because it takes me forever to write anything. Sorry in advance!

Well that’s me in a nutshell; wait, I hate nuts, probably because that’s what my family is. Anyway, that’s me in the 5 minutes it took me to write this.

Laters!

Mariah

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Don’t ask me where any of them came from, I just copy them as I find them.

A best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, Therefore I AM PERFECT!

Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, whine (got any cheese?) and complain.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

I'm not a bad witch I'm a grumpy witch

I think we met in a past life--and you were a dipstick then, too

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter

Screw up? Of course we'll screw up. Do what you're best at, I always say

Why be difficult ? When with a bit of effort you can be impossible?

Yes, I know it's bad for me but nagging me about it might be bad for you!

What brought you here ? And does it have reverse?

Mind Like a Steel Trap, Everything that goes in gets crushed and mangled

Good morning is a contradiction in terms

Some people live life in the fast lane I live in oncoming traffic!

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."

I just couldn't live with myself knowing I had just killed myself.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt... then it's darn right hilarious.

The other day I was wondering, "why does a Frisbee get larger the closer it gets to you?" and then it hit me.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

You're a great friend, but if the zombies come chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Someday your prince will come. Mine took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

(So me!)

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.

FRIEND: will always be like "well you deserve better".
BEST FRIEND: Will call him and say "You have seven days to live and maybe less if I feel like it"

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall
BEST FRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much, retard?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain
BEST FRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, LOSER, RUN!"

Don’t follow in my footsteps...I run into walls.

(Not as true about me as you’d think)

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Will the deity who nailed the Kosmic Karmic " KICK ME " sign to my back, kindly remove it?

Q: What do you say to an angry Witch?
A: Ribbit

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an Emergency on my part

He must have Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching

Don't play stupid with me - I'm better at it.

Computer! Bad command. Bad, BAD command. Sit! Stay!

Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape

Press any key to continue... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE !

If you want the best seat in the house, Move the cat

Someday we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

(LOL, me and Brittney)

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend pisses himself laughing, calls you an asshole, helps you up, then trips you again.

(What do you know, me and Britt again)

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over because if it wasn't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it gets weird.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Dear parents,
Jasmine married a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with seven men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around naked. Sleeping Beauty married a stranger who kissed her. Cinderella snuck out to go to a party.
It's not our fault. It's how you raised us.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

When the first man discovered that cows have milk...what do you think he was doing?

I didn't trip, I was just checking the gravity, and it still works.

(That’s my reason and I’m sticking to it)

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defence.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

Thank God you've arrived officer, a man has climb into the trunk of my car and shot himself fourteen times... (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it)

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Men do things and make it look easy; women do things and make it look easy, while wearing high heels.

When they say, "Don't try this at home" I try it at my friends house. They need to be more specific.

Dear Thigh Fat, Please help the needy. Sincerely, Boobs

If you’re talking shit behind my back, then you’re close enough to kiss my ass.

FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you
BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the crap out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts you