![]() I don't have anything against the people who do this, nor do I mean to offend, I'm just stating on my profile that I've got a very high dislike for people who don't complete their stories. It just drives me nuts to know that they've started a story and then just like right in the middle they say, oh I'm not going to complete this story because I'm busy or I've lost interest or inspiration. Those aren't even the worst examples. The worst ones are like after one chapter the end it or when they just stop updating and just leave the story behind because you don't know what to write. I know your thinking I probably have no room to talk as I have no stories up but that's just because I prefer to read rather than write, but my writing teacher has always told me to plan out my story but some you just think write a chapter and then you decide to wait to see your reviews you shouldn't care what others say it's YOUR STORY. Readings one of my passions and I hope that it explains why I wrote this paragraph. RANDOM STUFF When in doubt, push random buttons! There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. There are three kinds of people in the world: those that can count, and those that can't. Slinky escalator = endless fun People tell me I'm weird and I say "You just figured that out?" It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I dream of a better tomorrow- where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. I don't obsess; I think intensely. If you can't convince them, confuse them. The statistics of insanity is that one in every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If it's not them, it's you. all of my friends must be in different groups of four- we are all insane. The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. I do not deny everything. We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems. I'm not lost, I'm exploring. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hit me. Unless people like you care a whole awful lot. Dr Seuss FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. FRIENDS: Ask me for my number. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mister and Missess, Grandma by Grandma and Grandpa by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying "Walk much, dumbass?" FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. PONDER THIS Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there? Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? Why they are called "apartments" when they are all stuck together? Why is it called common sense if it's so rare? The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... 25 Things My Mom Taught Me 1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE- "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. RELIGION- "You better pray that comes out of the carpet." 3. TIME TRAVEL- "If you don't straighten up, I'm gonna knock you into the middle of next week." 4. LOGIC- "Because I said so, that's why." 5. MORE LOGIC- "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. FORESIGHT- "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. IRONY- "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS- "Shut your mouth and eat your dinner." 9. CONTORTIONISM- "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" 10. STAMINA- "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. WEATHER- "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it." 12. HYPOCRISY- "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate." 13. THE CIRCLE OF LIFE- "I brought you into this world and I can take you out." 14. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION- "Stop acting like your father." 15. ENVY- "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you." 16. ANTICIPATION- "Just wait until we get home." 17. RECEIVING- "You're gonna get it when you get home." 18. MEDICAL SCIENCE- "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're gonna freeze that way." 19. ESP- "Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you're cold?" 20. HUMOR- "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. GROWING UP- "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. GENETICS- "I swear you're just like your father." 23. MY ROOTS- "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. WISDOM- "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. JUSTICE- "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you." Facing one another, all four raised their right front paws and pressed them together. "As one, they murmured the prophesy, the promise, that the Red Claws had been taught at a mere six moons old. Clan Rancor shall fall! Clan Rancor shall fall! The loss of one shall Be the defeat of all. On wind and deadly leap Through tunnels dark and deep Our stealth in the night And mist in light They will taste defeat's dark blight! Clan Rancor shall fall! Clan Rancor shall fall! The four cats flexed their strong, sharp claws, interlocking them briefly in a nest of deadly points. A shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds and illuminated the quartet. And in the strong afternoon sun, their claws glowed a dark cherry red. - From the Warrior Cats Archieve: Red Revival by Alkuna I hate war. I hate fighting. But if it was for you, I'd do anything. Even if it meant dying. All the promises I made, I'll never break. I vow, I promise to keep you happy for all eternity no matter whose life I have to take. From Final Fantasy VII Archieve: I Promise by sportiegirl What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet...He didn't ask for this. He didn't ask to be hated. He didn't ask to be a freak. He didn't even asked to be born. It wasn't his fault, but they hated him anyway. - From the Warrior Cat Archieve: What's in a Name by bloodydarkwolf 'Tis absense, however, that makes the heart grow fonder. From The Pocket Magazine of Classic and Polite Literature, 1832, in a piece by a Miss Stickland. Truth became legend, or so they say A wolf breathing fire and a tail split in three Who roamed lands of Gaia, with a wink of no sleep And a heart so cold as a winter's breeze Feared for its evil Hated to the bone Gaia wept from what was shown Her dear beloved; Daemon of Wrath Killed any life that blocked its path Gaia could not leave her Humans this way So she chose to lock her beloved away Up in the mountains resembling his heart Was where she decided they must part With Cetras magic and most of her own They made it where he couldn't roam In those mountains the Daemon wept Over the promise his mother failed And as the centuries went by, darkness and rage grew inside Of a Daemon who only wanted to be held But was shoved aside and cast into hell Now it waits Patient as time For the chance of revenge and the end... Of Mankind From the Final Fantasy VII Archieve: Fanged Guardian by Fanimation Danimaton Things that make you feel smart. Go ahead, feel smart. On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief!) Favorite Quotes: Rules were made to be broken She's my best friend. She laughs? I laugh. She cries? I cry. She falls down the stairs? I laugh. Then I fall down because I'm laughing so much and laugh even harder M.A.T.H = Mental Abuse To Humans S.W.A.G = Something We All ...Get tired of hearing Curiosity didn't kill the cat, stupidity did I don't obsess, I think intensely My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me? One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me I'm like a boomerang, throw me away and I'll come back and hit you in the face They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" Well, I think guns help cuz if you stood there and yelled "Bang!" I don't think you'd kill too many people I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it I'm not insane, I'm mentally awesome We're not retreating... we're advancing in another direction I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it... Be a rebel! Open the wrong side of the popcorn bag! I'm not lazy, I'm on power-saving mode If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence you failed Ametures built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Growing old is unavoidable. Growing up is optional Without me, you're just aweso No, I didn't trip... the floor looked like it needed a hug 10 facts about you 1. You're reading my document 2. You're realizing that's a stupid fact 4. You didn't notice I skipped three 5. You're checking 6. You're smiling 7. You're still reading my profile 9. You didn't realize I skipped eight 10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again. :) 11. You are enjoying this 12. You didn't realize there's only supposed to be ten facts Copy and paste if you fell for it, too. You know you did. FAKE VS.Real FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying, “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it. I hate Justin Bieber 95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Paste this on your profile if you're one of the 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick. 95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are one of the 5% that would stand there eating popcorn and say, "DO A FLIP!!! TRY THIS!: Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the third word of each line. I bet you you'll smile The Dance Welcome to the masquerade, Here we dance to an endless song. Here we sing to an endless tune, We all wear masks to hide our wrongs. We never know who we're dancing with, Don't know the dancers in the dance of fate. Don't question the steps we learn from birth. Don't know the whole dance until it's too late. Some see through the masks we wear, Angered by answers they never receive. They don't care to learn the steps of the dance, So the hosts of the masquerade ask them to leave. And so we continue in our masquerade, We dance and spin and turn and bend. And we hold our masks on oh-so tight, Just hope they stay on until the end. Loveless Poem Prologue (Poem) When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end The goddess descends from the sky Wings of light and dark spread afar She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting Act I (Poem) Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess We seek it thus, and take to the sky Ripples form on the water's surface The wandering soul knows no rest. Act II (Poem) There is no hate, only joy For you are beloved by the goddess Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul Pride is lost Wings stripped away, the end is nigh Act III (Poem) My friend, do you fly away now? To a world that abhors you and I? All that awaits you is a somber morrow No matter where the winds may blow My friend, your desire Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return Act IV (Poem) My friend, the fates are cruel There are no dreams, no honor remains The arrow has left the bow of the goddess My soul, corrupted by vengeance Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey In my own salvation And your eternal slumber Legend shall speak Of sacrifice at world's end The wind sails over the water's surface Quietly, but surely Act V (Poem) Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return To become the dew that quenches the land To spare the sands, the seas, the skies I offer thee this silent sacrifice From Final Fantasy: Crisis Core Unfair Judgement Before you judge us for who we are Look at each and every scar These are battle wounds From all the pain that never ends There are things you wouldn't understand Everything we go through that wasn't planned There's a war happening inside ourselves With every disapproving word hurting like slap to the face Words really do hurt They drag us down shoving us into the dirt Judging us for who we are Treating us like we are an absurdity But I won't be scared To be compared To the rest of society Like my lifestyle is an impropriety Because I am who I am And if you don't like it, I really don't care. Don't Judge Funny Sayings Be insane- well behaved people never made history "Immature" is just a word used by people who don't know how to have fun falls over and everybody stares* "I didn't fall, I just was testing gravity..." "It still works." HOW CRAZY?? Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't Spanish and you just do that to annoy him. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o, but you forgot your spoon, so you try to drink it through a straw. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favourite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorise it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends you're high, because you can't stop laughing when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world. Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty" Crazy is when you start a sentience and in the middle of it you stop and watch nothing pass by you then start talking again. Funny Comebacks for Girls Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell. Girls, copy and paste this on your profile! 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house The children were nestled all snug in their beds, When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow With a little old driver, so lively and quick, "Now Dasher! Now Dancer! As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" - I love this poem. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by: Dr. Seuss Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Whos, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown At the warm lighted windows below in their town, For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath Was busy now hanging a hollywho wreath. "And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming! For, tomorrow, I know all the Who girls and boys Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! And they'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on their wheels. They'll dance with jingtinglers tied onto their heels. They'll blow their floofloovers. They'll bang their tartookas. They'll blow their whohoopers. They'll bang their gardookas. They'll spin their trumtookas. They'll slam their slooslunkas. They'll beat their blumbloopas. They'll wham their whowonkas. And they'll play noisy games like zoozittacarzay, A roller-skate type of lacrosse and croquet! And then they'll make ear-splitting noises galooks On their great big electro whocarnio flooks! Then the Whos, young and old, will sit down to a feast. And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They'll feast on Who pudding, and rare Who roast beast, Raw roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least! And then they'll do something I hate most of all! Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Whos will start singing!" Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays Welcome Christmas! Come this way Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus Christmas Day is in our grasp So long as we have hands to clasp Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays... "And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!" And the more the Grinch thought of this Who Christmas Sing, The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing! Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat. "I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat." And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great grinchy trick! With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!" You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel. Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel! You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul. Mr. Grinch! I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole! "All I need is a reindeer." The Grinch looked around. But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the Grinch? Hah! The Grinch simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread. And he tied a big horn on top of his head. Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks On a ramshackle sleigh and he whistled for Max. Then the Grinch said "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started down Toward the homes where the Whos lay a-snooze in their town. All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care When he came to the first little house of the square. "This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed, As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. He got stuck only once, for a minute or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue Where the little Who stockings hung all in a row. "These stockings," he grinched, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, and he took every present! Pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums! Checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney. You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Grinch! Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile! You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch. You're the king of sinful sots. Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots. Mr. Grinch! You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took the last can of Who hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "Now," grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!" As the Grinch took the tree, as he started to shove, He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was no more than two. She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why, Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?" But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, And he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed. And when Cindy-Lou Who was in bed with her cup, He crupt to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar. And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he left in the house Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then he did the same thing to the other Whos' houses, Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Whos' mouses! You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch, with a nauseous super "naus"! You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss. Mr. Grinch! Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots! You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty-wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch! The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, "Stink, stank, stunk"! It was quarter of dawn. All the Whos still a-bed, All the Whos still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings! Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpet, He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinchily humming. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry boo-hoo! That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "that I simply must hear!" He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low, then it started to grow. Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays Welcome Christmas! Come this way Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus Christmas Day is in our grasp So long as we have hands to clasp But this sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded glad! Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, Was singing without any presents at all! He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more! And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day! And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches, plus two! And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light With a smile to his soul, he descended Mount Crumpet Cheerily blowing "Who! Who!" on his trumpet. He road into Whoville. He brought back their toys. He brought back their floof to the Who girls and boys. He brought back their snoof and their tringlers and fuzzles, Brought back their pantookas, their dafflers and wuzzles. He brought everything back, all the food for the feast! And he, he himself, the Grinch carved the roast beast! Welcome Christmas. Bring your cheer, Cheer to all Whos, far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp So long as we have hands to grasp. Christmas Day will always be Just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand Heart to heart and hand in hand. -I just love this story so much. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it wasn’t. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. |
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