16 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WALMART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the restroom.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an offical tone,"code 3' in housewares.

5. Go to service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a "CAUTION-WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you begin to cry and ask,

"why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera&use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look''using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say ''PICK ME!'' ''PICK ME!'

14. When an announcement comes over the speaker,assume the fetel position and scream...

''NO! NO! It's those voices again!'

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while, and then yell, very loudly,"There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting"pikachu I choose you!"

IF YOU LAUGHED AT THIS REPOST ON YOUR PROFILE .YOU KNOW YOU DID SO POST IT OR ELSE

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

16 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy". 7. Dont use any punctuation 8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go." 10. Sing Along at the Opera. 11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!" 14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!" 15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 16. Send this to your friends to make them smile. It's called therapy.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

In case you need further proof that the human race is
doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness.
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(damn, but i have a whole stash in
my basement that were just right to process)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)