Parody summary of the Twilight Series.

Edward is a sugar addicted seventeen-year old who thinks he is a vampire. He is in love with Charlie Swan, who drives in the town's supply of sugar every week. But when Bella arrives, she decides to destroy their relationship and take Edward for her own.

An All Human parody of Midnight Sun. AH, AU and consequently OOC. No blood lust - just uncontrollable human lust. Smut filled fun . . .

Of three things I was absolutely certain. First: Edward Cullen was a mermaid. Second: There was some part of him, and I wasn't sure how potent that part might be, that wanted my guinea pig. Third: I was absolutely and irrevocably weirded out.

Edward is a 'beta' werewolf. He's trying to have an affair with Jacob's girlfriend.

Crack! Slash! Mpreg! Edward and Jasper bond over morning sickness. Emmett and Carlisle as frazzled babydaddies. EsmeRoseAlice are sisters, not lovers. No Bella.

The Cullens lose all their money in an economic downturn and Edward is forced into the world's oldest profession. What could be better? Humor, obviously. Post BD.

Emmett decides to attempt to turn peaches into vampires. WARNING: Extremely pointless and stupid!

Emmett and Jasper are worried about Edward and Bella's relationship.