Hey Everyone!

My name is Hannah, but my pen-name is Miss Katniss Rose Ash Belikov, as you can see when you clicked on my profile. Duh.

My pen name is to do with all the books I love to read. Katniss from the hunger games, Rose from Vampire Academy, Ash from Iron Fey and Belikov again from Vampire Academy. But you probably knew that. I am so blonde sometimes, probably cos I'm blonde. Funny that. Although, I do love the divergent triology, heist society and the Gallagher Girl series. But I can't include them all in my name, sadly :(

Anyway, I'm from England and am 13 years old. Yes, I am that young ha ha. As you can see, or read, I'm planning on being a comedian when I'm older.

So, I've not wrote any fanfics yet. (Emphasise on the yet) Maybe in the future I'll get off my lazy bum and think of a story.

So I basically favourite every good story I read, (I read real fast) so other people can see which ones they might want to read. However, most will be T rated, the odd M, so if anyone want a book with lemons, you might want to look somewhere else. Just a friendly warning.

I also have an addiction to saying, quotes and other random stuff so I'm gonna be putting my favourite ones on my profile.

Feel free to message me about anything-

Miss K R A Belikov xxxx :)

P.S I'm not actually gonna be a comedian when I'm older. I can't make a joke to save my life.

P.P.S Below are some fun stuff that I find funny

Saying NO.1: don't like me? Cool, I don't wake up every day to impress you.

Saying NO.2: God made us sisters, Chocolates made us friends.

Saying NO.3: If piano players are called pianists, are race car drives called racists?

Saying NO.4: Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest, sparkles and doesn't eat humans. HE IS OBVIOUSLY A FAIRY!

Saying NO.4: Everyone should stop making fun of Justin Bieber. That poor girl.

Saying NO.5: First law of cartoon physics - gravity only works when you look down.

Saying NO.6: Me: Should I get into trouble for something I didn't do?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Me: Good, cos I didn't do me homework.

Your One and Only WisH

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!

You May Be A Writer If-

1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.

2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.

3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.

4. Spell check is your best friend.

5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.

6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favourite characters.

7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.

8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.

9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.

10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you . . . you just can't hold it in for so long.

11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.

12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.

13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.

14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.

15. You can spell words like 'meticulous' but can't spell 'the' half the time.

16. If your not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.

17. You talk to yourself. . .constantly.

18. You forget what day it is when your writing.

19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.

20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.

21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.

22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.

23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.

24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.

25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.

26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.

27. You dream about your stories.

28. You dream of new stories.

29. You often revisit some of your old stories.

30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing.

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this and favourite me within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

This one made me cry-

Death to the Innocent

I went to a party Mum, I remembered what you said,
You told me not to drink Mum, so I drank soda instead
I really felt proud inside Mum, the way you said I would
I didn't drink and drive Mum, though the others said I should
I know I did the right thing Mum, I know you're always right
Now the party is ending Mum, and they're driving out of sight

As I got into my car Mum I knew I'd get home in one piece
Because of the way you raised me - responsible and sweet
I started driving away Mum but as I pulled onto the road
The other car just didn't see me and he hit me like a load

As I lay here on the pavement Mum, I hear the Policeman say
the other guy is drunk Mum and I'm the one to pay
I'm lying here and dying Mum, I wish you'd get here soon
How could this happen to me Mum, my whole life's burst like a balloon

There is blood that's all around me - and most of it is mine
I hear the medics say Mum I will die in a short time
I just wanted to tell you Mum I swear I didn't drink
It was the others Mum, the others, It was them who didn't think
He was probably at the same party as I -
The only difference is he drank - and I'll die

Why do people drink and drive Mum, it can ruin your whole life
I'm feeling sharp pains now, pains that cut me like a knife
The guy who hit me is walking and I don't think that is fair
I'm lying here and dying and all he can do is stare

Tell my brother not to cry Mum - Tell Daddy to be brave
And when I go to Heaven, put "Daddy's Girl" upon my grave
Someone should have told him Mum, Not to drink and drive
If only they had told him - Perhaps I'd be alive

My breath is getting shorter now, and I'm becoming very scared
Please don't cry for me, Mum when I needed you - you were there
I have one last question though before I say 'Good-bye'
"I didn't drink and drive Mum so why am I to die?"

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.

(why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.

(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.

(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.

(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.

(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.

(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.

(just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.

(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.

(like Nike says, "just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.

(just leave'm in the middle)

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted.

About six years ago in Indiana, was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in herschool, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, theshower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

A poem about Child Abuse

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

AOne heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

10 facts about you

1. You're reading my profile
2. You're realizing that's a stupid fact
4. You didn't notice I skipped three
5. You're checking
6. You're smiling
7. You're still reading my profile
9. You didn't realize I skipped eight
10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again. :)
11. You are enjoying this
12. You didn't realize there's only suppossed to be ten facts
Copy and paste if you fell for it, too. You know you did.

If you believe in God, copy this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

One day a dad comes home drunk and mad. He pulls out a gun and shoots his wife then turns the gun on himself. His little girl sits behind the couch crying. The police came and took the little girl to a new family. On her first day to Sunday School, she walks into the building and sees a picture of Jesus on The Cross.

The little girl asks the teacher, "How did that man get off the Cross?"

The teacher replied, "He never did."

The little girl argued, "Yes he did! When mommy and daddy fought, he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright!"

66 of you won't repost this. But remember, the Bible said, "Deny Jesus in front of your friends and I will deny you in front of my Father." Repost this if you're not ashamed. Let God's love be spread. :)

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God, the Father, the Son, and Holy Ghost…
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

†††
97% of you won't post this. When
Jesus died on the cross he was
thinking of you. If you're one of 3% that
cares, put this on your channel.

15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14.

People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.

People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping.

I bet 88 of you won't,the other 22 aren't heartless and will.

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you
A good friend will bail you out of jail, BEST FRIENDS will be sitting next to you in your cell going "That was fun! Should do that again!"
Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid thing ALONE
Good Friend: Knocks politely at your door BEST Friend: Walks right on in and shouts ‘I’M HOME’
Good Friend: Will bail you out of jail BEST Friend: Will be sitting on the bench next to you saying ‘Damn that was fun! Let’s do it again!’
Good Friend: Will help you cry when you are rejected by a boy BEST Friend: Will go up to the boy and say ‘Its because you’re gay, isn’t it?’
Good Friend: Asks nicely for your stuff BEST Friend: Shouts ‘GIMME!!’
Good Friend: Waits to call you until a reasonable hour BEST Friend: Calls you at 2 in the freaking morning
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

That Is what best friends are for

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

If you zone out and think about your stories or fanfiction during the day, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or have a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

3 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, cocoapufflover, Wind Crystal, MewMewFerret,michikoneko, The Evil Authoress, shadowgrave22, Overdramatic comedian, thiree, nikirocks29, Miss Katniss Rose Ash Belikov

If you think cancer is awful, put this in your profile.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, thiree, Nikirocks29, Miss Katniss Rose Ash Belikov,

Copy and past to your profile. But, Bold the ones that apply to you:

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I HAVE GAY FRIENDS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like READING, so I MUST be a Loner.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except read.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST like to talk about crushes, dolls, not getting my clothes dirty, and parties.

I don't STUDY much but still get GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be cheating.

I don't think VEGETARIANISM makes sense, so I MUST think all vegetarians are hippies.

I'm easily ANNOYED, so I MUST be bratty.

I LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC, so I MUST be a rebel.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love cute/fuzzy animals.

I grew up with a SMOKER/ALCOHOLIC/DRUG ADDICT, therefore I MUST be one myself.

I have a lot of MONEY so I MUST be a stuck up snob

I don't like any of the GUYS AT MY SCHOOL so I MUST have unrealistic standards

I'm BLOND so I MUST be a ditzy whore

I DON'T CARE what other people think so I MUST be a freak

I dyed my hair so I MUST be unhappy with my appearence

I wear a lot of makeup so I MUST be a whore

I think a lot of guys are hot so I MUST be a slut

I'm flat chested so I MUST look like a little kid

I have a DECENT FIGURE so I MUST show it off like a whore

I'll PUNCH someone for messing with me so I MUST be a violent physco

I’m that girl.

The girl who hates dances and sport games. When I do go, I end up in the corner with a book.

The girl who makes your girlfriend jealous even though I am only your best friend.

The girl who is pretty but thinks she isn’t.

The girl who isn’t a size four and doesn’t eat healthy.

The girl who has never been asked out even though everyone else around me has had dozens of boy/girlfriends.

The girl who dreams about her book getting published or graduating college with honors while everyone else is dreaming of their wedding day.

The girl who seems to have no fears even though she ran crying to her room after a bitch called her a bitch

The girl who doesn’t care that she has acne from getting stressed too much or doesn’t need a guy to complete her.

The girl that people look through when I say something.

The girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

The girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

The girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone.

The girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

The girl who has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Greek Mythology, who can express herself better with words than without words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

Girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
I promise to remember Edward
Each time I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there is a big boom
I promise to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
Everytime I'm at the mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
Whenever I see beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me that they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my true obsession
Because I know what Twilighters know

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
Bite Me.

I have been diagnosed
with Obsessive Cullen
Disorder put this on your
profile if you have it too

Some funny blonde things, it makes me feel better cos im blonde and don't do them!

Diary of a Blonde

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!!
March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!
June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??
October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!
What a year!!

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ..."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00
The blonde put the 50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5.

Kind of amazing how stupid some people are...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen.

So, enough about me, how are you?