I hate writing profiles, but im going to anyway. why, do you ask? (even though you don't because no ones reading this.) the answer is, why not? well, actually, the answer is because im bored, and would rather waste time than work on one of the many unfinished stories that i should work on but no ones reading anyway.

i am not going to tell you anything remotely factual about myself. well, not like age, or weight (and don't you know that you're never supposed to ask a woman about her weight?) or gender- wait. that ones shot. i just gave it away, didn't i?- or hometown, or job, or lack of job... you get the drift. instead, im going to tell you a few random tibbits of useless personal info, then get on with it.

i was born with my foot in my mouth. for all you non-readers out there (because no one is reading this, really) who don't understand the signifigance of that, some one 'putting their foot in their mouth' means that they said something really stupid and non-tactful. so, if any one accuses me of putting my foot in my mouth, i can always say 'i was born that way!' and chuckle as they role their eyes and walk away.

in terms of real life, the thing i hate most is people with whom you just can't win. make any argument you want, do or say anything you please- they wont listen. instead they mock you for trying, laugh at your frustration, and go on to live their lives in smug superiority.

im a tree sort of person. the thing about trees is that they just grow. they have no need to be anything- just to be, and catch the sunlight and find water. trees don't fight- well they compete for recourses, but other than that- they don't have government or stress or schedules- and yet they manage to live quite fine- as long as we don't cut them down, of course. the other thing about trees is- well, they listen. they don't answer, they don't care, even- but they listen.

i like fire. a lot. it's pretty, and relaxing, and fun; and when things build up inside you and you really want to break something, fire is a less destructive alternative.

i am in no way a people person. i have friends; and they are my friends for a reason. however, i do not like having to deal with groups of more than five at a time, or meeting new people. in my brief experiance, i have come to decide that the human race as a whole is overrated. as individuals, though, there are many people i like, but don't want to be stuck in a long conversation with.

here's another thing: i have standards. and by that i mean morals. there are three kinds of morals/standards/moral standards: every day life, fanfiction, and useless. the useless ones are the kind that only come into effect once in a life time for most people, i.e. don't try to murder your ex with a spoon, that sort of thing. so, as they are by name useless, lets not talk about them.

my every day morals have to do with three things: empathy, the bigger picture, and stealing. by empathy, i mean understanding how people feel and respecting that. by bigger picture, i mean thinking about the, well, bigger picture, and acting accordingly. these two include all of the things like following laws, doing things i'm suppost to, yadda yadda yadda.

before you call the police on me, let me explain my rules for theivery:

1) only steal from your friends

2) give back whatever you stole, unless it's food, in which case you shouldn't steal a lot of it, and you should repay the theiveree. unless they're a really close friend, in which case you laugh at them.

3) the amount you can steal (and then return, as per rule #2) varies depending on the friend. the closer the friend, the more you can steal (useually. an exeption is made for enefriends, which are like frenemies, only you dislike them more.)

4) if some one looks you in the eye and says stop, stop. seriously.

see, that's not so bad, is it? it's not really theivery if you give it back. more like borrowing. without permission.

my fanfiction standards are thus: only support pairings with an emotional bond, compatable personalities, or a proveable relationship. if you support a pairing, stick to that pairing. if you do not, you are obviosly not following the first rule (exeptions are possible, but improbable.) do not support a pairing that would be downright icky in real life; examples include pedophilia and incest. do not warp cannon for your purposes. plot always, alway comes before porn. porn is to be avoided. and don't call me a prude; is it my fault that i prefer reading about actual, dramatic relationships instead of smut? relationships are to follow a natural progression; that means no 'hi, i just met you, let's go make out' stories.

and this provides the perfect springboard for the second half of our program!

(heres where it gets all statisticy, by the way.)

favorite pairing: umm... this would have been easy before a friend introduced me to kingdom hearts. right now... im not sure.

you know what? im going to divide this into two sections: kingdom hearts and CLAMP awesomeness!

kingdom hearts: (if you read tsubasa/legal drug/xxxholic, skip ahead for a while. if you engage in neither fandom, skip ahead for a looooooong while)

parings i support:

akuroku, zemyx, xemsai, seiner, cleon.

when it comes to final fantasy, i ship cloud with tifa and squall with rinoa. however, in kingdom hearts, my opinion is differant.

im not sure where i stand on the sokai vs. soriku question... at the moment, i think that sora has a crush on kairi, but cares more about riku. and riku probably has a thing for sora... but as i said, im not sure...

pairings i dislike, but tolerate:

roxas/namine, sora/riku, haylette

pairings i hate:

larxene/most people (she's just not the kind of person i could see in a relationship), any one with axel other than roxas, hayner/roxas, xigbar/demyx (can you say pedophile?)... almost every pairing concerning the characters involved in my faves that isn't mentioned.

and to all who say that akuroku is pedophilic, i hold strong to my belief that axel is around 18/19, making it at most a four year differance! haha!

favorite character: Axel

least favorite character: i don't have one.

CLAMP:

pairings i support: kurofai, watanuki/domeki, syaoran/sakura; yukitoya; kazahaya/rikou; yuuko/clow reed

pairings i dislike, but tolerate: kurogane/tomoyo; watanuki/himawari

pairings i hate: fai/chii; anything that violates the rule of soul mates.

favorite character: hard to say...

favorite series: either trc or legal drug.

all of my clamp stories have been put on hold.

SHADOWDREAMERS GUILD TO STAYING IN CHARACTER!!

one of the things i hate most other than the aforementioned pairings is ooc fics pretending to be in character. there is, ive noticed, a sort of fanfiction version of the character, and an original version of the character. while every one has a differant interpritation of a character, im going to post mine here and hope for the best.

axel:

axel is a very complex character. he is nice enough to help out the zombie new kid, and yet cruel enough to enjoy killing. how is this possible?

i think that when axel bought roxas ice cream, ect, he was a combination of: bored, nostalgic, curious, lonely, and numb. but mostly bored, curious, and nostalgic. he can feel his 'friendship' with saix slipping away, he's fighting for a cause mostly just to be fighting, and there's a new kid who seems totally differant from everyone else he knows. only, all of this is muted/placebo effect (he's behaving as if he has a heart, so his subconcios has him act like he has one) because he only developes a heart later. if you watch the re: com cutscenes, you can watch his progress. so anyway, he's kinda curios about this new kid and he doesn't really like anyone else in the orgy, so he descides to do a good deed for the kid.

another thing about axel: he is resigned. he goes along with the orgy's flow, does what he's told, because he has no were else to go. that's just his life, and he lives with it; up until something counter acts this (i.e. roxas leaving) and he has no real reason to stick around anymore. he is, while complex, also a very simple person. how, you ask, is this possible? his emotions are complex; but his personality is simple. it's hard to explain (not that you asked me to.) i think that axel is best compared to a sunset. why? i don't know. but if you're anything like me, i think that the best picture for you to keep in mind when writing axel is him and roxas relaxing on the clock tower with their ice cream, not talking, but just enjoying the beautiful sky.

note: axel is by no means stupid, a slacker, or a delinquent. he finishes his missions with speed and efficiency, finds out facts that no one would expect a nobody to know (do you now why the sun sets red?) and there is very little record of him causing trouble within the orgy (if you ignore what happens in re:com, because that was orders, not random). so don't write him as a steriotypical 'bad boy' just because of his hair, tattoos, and fire power; i think he's more of a 'loner by choice' than anything else.

roxas:

roxas is not, and never is/was/will be:

a depressed, sulky emo kid

an easily embarassed, school-girl ish uke

a pushover

i think that to begin with he's shy, and doesn't really understand the idea of personality or interaction. it's not that he's afraid to talk; he just doesn't understand that he should.

once he is no longer a zombie, roxas is a relaxed, mature teenage guy who banters with his friends, helps out fellow zombie-nobodies, and questions the peramiters of his non-life. he's slightly a dreamer, but doesn't let that get in his way, slow him down, or make him a target in the orgy. unlike Axel, he questions things, and doesn't seem satisfied with the life he lives once things get complicated. he stands his ground, too, but doesn't seem to be the kind of person who enjoys a fight.

Demyx:

demyx is very easy for writers to get wrong. however, there isn't enough of his cutscenes to give a good summery of what he is really like. so here's a list of what he's not:

a three year old on crack

a hippy who beleives in peace love and hearts

a surfer dude

popular

a girly girl

particularly mature

particularly immature

personally, i think that demyx represents an in-between time, a time when all that's really important is playing his sitar and keeping out of Saix's way. if any one reading this (which basically means my friends and the wonderful Rocket-ship-Romance whom i haven't actually met) remembers or is in the time period of adolescence, they might remember how important it was to fit in. that, i think, is an important part of demyx's emotional make up: no one really likes him, but he hangs around because it's a part of what he knows. other than axel and roxas, he's probably the closest to having a heart- but this is important: he doesn't. personally, i think he's to lazy to search out one. he's just going after kingdom hearts because big scary saix told him to. when he suddenly gets the courage to go after Sora, it's because whats waiting for him isn't much better.

ill finish this later when i feeling less lazy. until then, theres something you should read:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

and yes, i am straight. i think. so what? does that mean i can't stand up for people? love is love. if you don't like gay relationships, don't be in one!