PETS: Meh dog named ROXY, chickens, cats, ma lil sister...

FAV MOVIES: Transformers, Urban Legend, Paranormal Activity, CHRONICAL

FAV SHOWS: SUPERNATURAL, Danny Phantom, One Piece, Fairy Odd Parents

LIKES: DOG PERSON, movies, TEA CUP PARTIES FUCK YEAH, motorcross motorbikes, RED AND BLACK AND BLUE AND GREEN AND PURPLE annnnnnnnd SAMON :D LiCoRiQuE

DISLIKES: MEGATRON

Music: 30 SECONDS TO MARS!!!!!!!!, LINKIN PARK!!!!! ARE THE BEST!!! Shannon Noll

Things you shouldn't say to cops.

1. "Sorry about knocking up your wife."

2. "Oh, hey officer. Why'd ya wake me up? What? I've been asleep this whole time, I don't remember running over any crossing guards."

3. "How about I buy you a dozen donuts and you let me off the hook?"

4. "Is that a pistol in your holster or are you coming on to me?"

5. "Hey Officer! Whaddaya been upwards to, huh?"

6. "Oh, sure! You arrest me for drunk driving. But, when some other cop does it, you go get donuts!"

7. "You're a member of the force, right? So... where's the lightsaber?"

8. "I know that you'd much rather be drinking coffee right now, so, what's stopping you?"

9. "I'm just a student driver... Honest."

10. "So... About the whole 'You'll never take me alive' thing... That was just a joke..."

11. "Yeah, I'd like a large fries, A whopper, One milkshake... wait, no, make that two milkshakes, and a stack of flapjacks."

12. "So, I was going 120 in a school zone? Then you must have been going 125 to catch me. Good job officer... Good job."

13. "Bad boys, bad boys... whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

14. "What do you mean 'stealing from the evidence locker is illegal'? You do it all the time!"

15. "Hell yeah! a 500 ticket! I finally broke my record!"

you know when your mom goes to the shopping centre and you get dragged with her to the world of cold boringness? THINGS TO DO WHEN BORD IN A SHOPPING CENTER!!

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "for smuggling diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuations.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!, I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. Every time you change direction whine that you're lost

You know you live in 2012 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don’t have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to your friends

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5, only to see that there is indeed no number 5

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly

12.) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it, you know you did!

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

everyone else may love you, but I still think you’re a moron.

This isn’t a classroom, it’s hell with fluorescent lighting.

You know you’re addicted to coffee when:

1)you’re nervous twitches show up on the richter scale.

2)you have to watch movies in fast-forward.

3)you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 equals 123,456,789,987,654,321

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

When everything is comin’ your way, your driving in the wrong lane.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

all those who believe in telecineses raise my hand.

ok, so what’s the speed of dark?

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I’ll put shoes on my cat.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

When you dial a mental hospital:

Ring... Ring...
Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press one repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is free.

I see you're playing stupid again, looks like you're winning.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Stupidity killed the cat, curiosity was framed.

The difference between humour and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else.

Life is not passing me by, it is trying to run me over.

Shock me... say something intelligent.

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you're just abusing the privilege.

You're not yourself today; I noticed the improvement immediately.

Smile -- make people wonder what you're up to.

If the truth will set you free, why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room for the next two weeks?!

If aliens are looking for intelligent life then Earth has nothing to worry about.

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Call me crazy and prepare to be laughed at for being right.

Heaven doesn't want me there and hell knows I'll take over.

The evening news is where they begin by saying 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why its not.

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.

If you think it can't get any worse its probably because you lack sufficent imagination.

That is the truest sign of insanity -- insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy.

I like you; when the world is mine your death shall be quick and painless while the others are suffering.

I please only one person a day; today is not you're day and tomorrow isn't looking so good either.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

I'm the person you're mother warned you to avoid making friends with.

When the giant fluffy bunnies take over the world, I am NOT saving your ass.

At my lemonade stand I shall give you two glasses; the first is free, the second is five dollars because it contained the antidote to go with the first.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional.

My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely NOT for you.

Parents spend half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and spend the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

I'm not insane, and my hand puppets agree with me.

I swear, I didn't run into it! The pole moved on its own!

I'm not paranoid -- WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Flying is simple; just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There's three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is still wrong but much faster!

Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.

My imaginary friends think you have mental problems...

You are unique...just like everyone else

Irish Wristwatch. Say it. I DARE you.