![]() After lurking forever I made a profile! My fic bookmarks were just getting too abundant and messy so I caved! Just a simple girl who was born in the US but moved to Australia in my early years and have been here ever since. I'm mainly into boyxboy but if the story is good enough will read anything And on why I, and many other women, like male/male pairing the most, well, two men together is hot, but I also saw this post on tumblr once upon a time Question: I wonder who hurt all the straight girls that obsess over gay men and gay culture Answer: Actually this is worth talking about. One reason a lot of straight women fetishize gay men is because hetero relationships with men inside a patriarchy are necessarily very difficult to make functional. dysfunction–inequality in power, social status, and income, not mention physical potential for harm–is the default state. straight women fetishize and exoticize gay male relationships as the sort of romance they will never achieve but which they long for: a unilateral one. a “true partnership” involving “equals”. this concept, along with the (patriarchal and internalized) ideal of the male body as being inviolable, strong, literally impregnable, “can’t get raped”, etc, means that not only are the perceived gay male relationships “equal”, they are “safe”. which is another thing women do not get to experience in relationships with men: safety. our straight male lovers and family are the people most likely to injure or kill us, the single most dangerous people we will ever know. the fantasy of having a safe lover, who is on equal social and physical footing but who still turns you on and can engage in “taboo” or “kinky” or otherwise exciting sex (except, again–from a position of consent derived from equality) is part of the fantasy that straight women project onto gay men. the fact that these things exist only in fantasy for straight women, and women who are attracted to men, should be taken into consideration when asking why straight women do anything wrt men and relationships. this isn’t an excuse. a lot of this fantastical otherizing is just the underbelly of homophobia, and should be interrogated where you find it. even the idea of the male body as a strong one, one that cannot be violated or made to do anything nonconsensual, is a patriarchal one and extremely harmful to both men and women. the projection of “seme” and “uke” roles onto gay men (“which one of you is the girl”) is likewise fucked up, and also probably predicated on the idea that men are impervious to sexual violence and therefore it’s excusable to fetishize situations which, if they involved a man and woman, would be perceived easily as rape/coercion. source: toxoplasm I don't know, I thought it was really good commentary and discussion worth sharing and shedding light on. |
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