My profile will be filled with nonsense and random stuff. Nuff said.

62.732145% of statistics are made up.

8 out of 5 people are mathematically illiterate.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her while she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

I used to be a Timelord like you, but then I took a Dalek to the knee.

So you say nothing is impossible? Well, try slamming a revolving door. Or stapling jello to a tree. Or licking your own bellybutton.

David Tennent's character, Barry Crouch Jr., made the portkey that caused the death of Cedric Diggory, played by Robert Pattinson. So, in extension, the Doctor killed Edward Cullen. MIND. BLOW.

Google Scotland's national animal. Google it. GOOGLE IT NOW.

There are exactly 1242 things in an average room a Ravenclaw can use to kill you, including the room itself.

I owe you a fall.

Sarcasm is not the lowest form of wit. In fact, intelligent people are more likely to understand sarcasm and be sarcastic.

Intelligent people have trouble sleeping because their brains overstimulate.

Intelligent people tend to have bad handwriting because their brains go too fast.

Having imaginary friends as a kid helps develop creativity, intelligence, and memory.

Creative people sleep a lot, so many people think creative people are lazy.

Otters sleep while holding hands so they don't drift away

A group of cats can be called a clowder, a cludder, a pounce, a doubt, a glare, a glorying, a kindle, an intrigue, or a destruction.

A group of crows can be called a murder, a horde, a parcel, or a storytelling.

Other animal groups:

Parliament of Owls

Labor of Moles

Mischief of Mice

Leap of Leopards

Brace of Mallards

Charm of Hummingbirds

Army of Herrings

Kettle of Hawks

Cloud of Grasshoppers

Business of Ferrets

Gang of Elk

Skulk of Foxes

Army of Frogs

Buh-bye.