The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

I promise to remember The Stolls

when my home is beginning to unsettle.

I promise to remember Beakendorf

whenever I see someone working metal.

I promise to remember Silena

whenever a friend takes one for the team

I promise to remember Michael Yew

whenever I see a smile that gleams.

I promise to remember Briares

whenever I see someone playing hand games.

I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth

whenever I see a cloth in flames.

I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos

whenever I see someone go against the odds.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go

The Olympian Pledge:

I promise to remember Ares

Each time I hear of World War II

And I promise to remember Athena

Whenever I hear of a loom

I promise to use the internet

For Hermes' sake of course

And I promise to remember Poseidon

Whenever I ride a horse

I promise to remember Zeus

Whenever lightning fills the sky

And I promise to remember Hera

Every time a guy makes a girl cry

I promise to remember Aphrodite

Whenever I see a girdle made of gold

And I promise to remember Apollo

When the sun is very bold

I promise to remember Artemis

When the moon shines in the night

And I promise to remember Hades

When something gives me a fright

I promise to remember Demeter

Whenever a daughter moves away

And I promise to remember Hephaestus

When someone never gets their way

I promise to remember Dionysus

When I am at a party

And I promise to remember Hestia

When someones smile is very hearty

Yes I promise to love The Gods

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Olympians know!

Now swear it on the River Styx!

Fear

You aren't afraid of the dark. You're scared of what's in it.

You aren't afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling.

You aren't afraid of death. You're afraid of dying.

You aren't afraid of the people around you. You're afraid of rejection.

You aren't afraid to love. You're afraid of not being loved back.

You aren't afraid of letting go. You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone.

You aren't afraid to try again. You're afraid of being hurt for the exact same thing.

Things My Mother Taught Me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

HOW TO SUCCEED AT BEING A NORMALTEENAGER (In 15 easy steps):

1. The first step in becoming a normal, bland, and spineless individual is very simple. Never think. About anything. Ever. If you have a thought, let it go. Let someone else think for you. Thinking is hard. Let someone else do it. Save your little conformist brain cells for something less difficult.

2. Now let's talk about music. You like unique music? Not anymore! You get to listen to the same generic, repetitive sound that everyone else does. You know, that one beat over and over with the words "Yeah", "baby" and "ooh" being repeated. Lucky you!

3. To be normal, you've gotta dress normal. If you're a girl, that means you wear leggings as pants and cut up your t-shirts so they just barely cover your chest. Uggs are a must, for any time of the year, including midsummer. If you're a guy, you wear the hem of your pants on the back of your knees. Overly violent band t-shirts for bands that you only know one song for is highly recommended. Jerseys and shorts are the number one choice for extremely cold weather.

4. Now that you're dressed like the little snowflake you are, it's time to talk about relationships with your parents! The next time they ask you to perform a non time-consuming chore or a small favor, be sure to throw a complete tantrum in the kitchen. Tell them how much you hate them and how they don't accept your individuality, as they can see by your intuition in fashion. Be sure to include that they don't love you and that they wish you were never born. Follow this by running to your room and slamming your door off its hinges. If they attempt to speak to you at any time after this, lay face down on your bed and scream at them through your pillow. Scream about how no one loves you and let your excessive eye makeup run down your face, too.

5. To ensure that you're everyone's favorite person in the morning, don't ever sleep. It's recommended that you should stay up all night on Facebook chat, having the exact same conversation with nine different people. It should be going something like this: YOU: hey "FRIEND": hi YOU: wassup "FRIEND": nm, u YOU: nm "FRIEND": im bored YOU: same "FRIEND": wat r u doin YOU: nothing u "FRIEND": nothing YOU: lol "FRIEND": lol …And should continue this way until the wee hours in the morning. During this time, no homework should be done, and only caffeine and sugar filled foods should be consumed.

6. If someone offers you an alcoholic drink, TAKE IT. CHUG IT DOWN. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOOK LIKE A LOSER WHO DOESN'T DRINK. YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. DRINK IT. DRINK IIIIIIIIIIT.

7. Speaking of your amazing friends that are so nice to you and you to them, you must remain in contact with them at all times. They have to know everything that's happening in your life, just like you need to know theirs. Every time you start and finish a meal, update your Facebook status. Each time you borrow your mom's car to drive to someone's house to do nothing but sit on their couch for three hours, you should tweet when you left, while you drive there, when you get there, while you're there, when you leave, on your way home, and when you get home. Your phone must be in your hand, or within five inches of it at all times. You can't afford to not have it. What if you miss an important tweet? Your friend could be eating a cheeseburger and you won't know about it! YOU NEED THAT PHONE. Treat it like your child. No, treat it BETTER than your child, which you'll likely have in the next two years. *Important Note: Don't forget to do it while you drive!

8. Go beat up/ridicule a gay kid. Even a kid you think is gay and really isn't. Assume that every guy in the school play and any girl not dressing like a slut is gay.

9. You must use these words/phrases a minimum of five times per minute: - 'Like' - 'Um' or 'Uh' - 'Ohmigod' - 'Literally' - 'Legit' - 'I know, right?!' - 'Dude' - A swear of some kind - 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!' - A misinterpretation of the word 'Irony' (And for those familiar with internet vernacular) - 'Derp' and/or 'Herp' - 'Fail' - 'FFFFFFUUUUUU' - 'ASDFASDFASDFASDFASDF' - 'WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN' - Sentences that begin with 'Y U NO' - 'UR GAY' - 'FIRST!'

10. No matter how pretty, thin, and beautiful your outward appearance is, you must always dismiss yourself as "ugly", "disgusting", "hideous", etc. 11. Interpret EVERYTHING you see and hear as sexual.

12. You should ALWAYS expect sympathy from others no matter WHAT you do. Expect that your friends will cry and hug you when you tell them about that tragic weekend your mom took your phone away, ALL because you were caught driving drunk and having sex.

13. The only words you read should come from a TV, a computer screen, or your phone. Reading is for losers who don't have friends to text.

14. If you are doing poorly in any class, expect that the teacher secretly hates you. They really, really hate you. Even though you're doing awesome in that class, they give you bad grades because they are secretly trying to destroy you, and keep from you getting into the party school you want to go too, even though mommy and daddy will buy your way in there anyway. It's NEVER your fault. That teacher WANTS to see you crash and burn. Don't forget to say that to their face and to complain to all of your friends!

15. What's that? SOMEONE IS ACTING DIFFERENTLY FROM YOU! They are assaulting your individuality with individuality of their own! They don't listen to the music you do! They're a girl, and you can't even see their bra straps! How can she hope to be respected when she's not even a d-cup?! They're a guy and you can't even see their boxers! The smell of Axe body spray isn't activating your gag reflex! You know what you must do? ATTACK! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY! How dare they act more intelligent and insightful than you, even though they are! DESTROY THEM PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY! What's this?! THEY'RE GAY TOO? NO! THAT GOES AGAINST THE RELIGION YOU SAY YOU FOLLOW BUT REALLY DON'T! NOOOOOOO!*explode*

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW A COMPLETELY NORMAL TEEN. Go cry now.

Mummy, Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool.

And when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a crack.

Mummy I was a good girl. I went to school, got straight A's, I even got the gold.

But Mummy, when I went to school that day I never said goodbye.

I'm sorry Mummy that I had to go, but please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother.

Mummy, please tell Daddy that I love him very much, and tell Chris my boyfriend that it wasn't just a crush,

and tell my dear little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandma that I'll be waiting

for her now, and tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best.

Mummy, I'm not the first, I'm not better than the rest.

Mummy, tell my teachers that I won't show up for class, and never forget this and please don't let this pass.

Mummy why did it have to be me, no one deserves this. Mummy warn the others, I left without a kiss.

And Mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry.

I'm slowly dying with abullet in my chest, but Mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest.

I ran as fast as I could when I heard the crack, Mummy listen to me if you would.

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new.

I guess I'm not going with daddy on that trip to the zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid. I wanted to be an actress, Mummy I wanted to live.

But Mummy I must go now, the time is getting late. Tell my Chris I'm sorry I had to cancel our date.

I love you Mummy, I always have. I know you know it's true.

Mummy all I wanted to say is, "Mummy I love you."

In memory of the Columbine students that were lost needlessly, violently,and pointlessly.

You will never be forgotten.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that, paste this to your profile

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from..

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid

PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers/skills

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down (politely)

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

From: Your Departed Husband

Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

Notice: To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please repost this into your profile:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

I hate when people say Hades is the devil! If you actully read Greek Myths he is the god of death meaning good and bad people go to him when they die. He is not evil, he is strict but fair. "But he kidnapped Persephone." Well if you were surrounded by the dead all the time wouldnt you want someone to love and one of the most beautiful people to lighten up the place. The underworld probably got lonely and I bet that a three headed dog and the dead are not that great coversation holders.

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Impossible,
Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater.
Sincerely,
Spongebob

(Y)
(o.o)
o(")(")
Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side. (We have cookies!)

So I have an addiction to Percy Jackson and I'm a bit of an angst freak. No one really reads this anyway so bye...

Percy Jackson You say Edward Cullen, I say Percy Jackson

You say red and black, I say Sea Green and Gray

You say Forks, I say Camp Half-Blood

You say Edward and Bella, I say Percy and Annabeth

You say Jacob Black, I say Nico DiAngelo

You say Volturi, I say Titans/Gaea/Giants

You say, “Go to Hell” I say, “Go rot in Tartarus”

You say football, I say Capture The Flag

You say “Twilight is better than Percy Jackson” I say “Clarisse will hunt you down with Maimer”

You say childhood, I say Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus

You say depression, I say, “Annabeth misses Percy”

You say Aro, I say Kronos and Gaea

You say school, I say Goode

You say, “I’m going to kill you!” I yell, “Hades will have your soul!"

You say life, I say PJO and HoO

*We found the Thief

*We discovered the Fleece

*We held up the sky

*We survived the Maze

*We defeated the Titans

*We are heroes

*We are Demigods

*Forever a Team

*Forever a FAMILY

*We are the Percy Jackson Generation

*Be wise like Annabeth

*Be brave like Percy

*Be strong like Jason

*Be kind like Piper

*Be funny like Leo

*Be hopeful like Hazel

*Be trustworthy like Frank

Four girls are talking. The first girl says "Team Edward or Team Jacob?" The second girl says "Totally Team Edward." The third girl says "Team Jacob all the way!" The fourth girl says "Twilight is dumb. Edward, Jacob, Pfft. I'm on Team Percy Jackson."