"If I die; when I die, don't bury me in our sad, pathetic little Christian cemetery. Burn me and cast me into a strong east wind."--"I don't believe in heaven! I've been living too long in this hell!"

" 'The world used to be a bigger place.' 'World's the same. There's just less in it.' "

"Here is the smell of blood still but all the perfumes of Arabia cannot sweeten this small room." (Yes, I am well aware that it's a Macbeth quote, but I like the way that Grissom said it better.)

"Oliver is DEAD! I dumped him in the river and the swans ATE him!"

About me: Well...where do I start? I'm a genius girl from a small town in the Middle of Nowhere, USA. Well, technically, I'm eighteen, so I guess I'd be considered a woman, no matter how much I hate to admit it. Anyway, I'm not top of my class, but that's only because I'm a procrastinator and fail to turn anything in without making some snide remark in the middle of the essay. However, some teachers like that; they think it shows that I'm not a pushover or whatever. -Shrugs- They just don't recognize genius nowadays. Oh well. Oh, and I've recently been diagnosed as narcissistic, so, if you think I'm talking too much about myself, you can bite me.

By the way: anyone who has an idea for a fanfiction, but they have little or no writing ability, I would be happy to be commissioned to write your story. Of course, you'd be given most to all credit and I would merely get the satisfaction of giving the fanfiction world one more story to read.

H/D, BECAUSE AFTER SIX BOOKS, WHO CARES ABOUT CANON ANYWAY?!

On with the pairings:

Acceptable:

Harry/Draco (Can you say, 'well duh'?)

Ron/Herm (...Okay, so it's cliche, I don't care.)

Blaise/Ginny (What can I say, it's cute.)

Blaise/Herm (-shrugs- I don't care what you think. It's unexpected and cute.)

Remus/Sirius (Wow, this is the only one I didn't comment!)

Remus/Severus (If Sirius is...erm...MIA.)

Oh..I almost forgot... Lucius/Severus (I don't know, there's just something about them...)

And while I'm on that note: Lucius/Narcissa (I don't care if they're already married and all, they're just beautiful together - well, except when he's being a total ass hole.)

There are more that aren't sickly, but I really don't feel like going on and on, 'cause I really could be here all day.

Unacceptable:

First and foremost: Harry/Ginny (Gag me with a wooden spoon.)

And on that note...Harry/anyone other than Draco((and visa versa)) (For how long I've been reading HD fanfics, it almost seems like a cardinal sin to pair them with anyone else.) (( So, yes, for all of you planning on or writing H/notD or D/notH fanfics, you are going to hell.))

Marauder era/Present era (That is wrong on so many different levels. and yes, this includes: Harry/Remus, Harry/Sirius, Severus/Harry, Severus/Draco, Severus/Herm, Severus/Ron(might happen, some people are deranged), and so forth.)

Voldemore/anyone (Okay, so he can speak Parsletongue, that does not give you reason to pair him with anyone.)

Dumbledore/anyone (In case you hadn't noticed, he's old...and his only love is in prison and/or dead, depending on which book you're reading((she's so inconsistent sometimes, it's not even funny)).)

Minerva/anyone (Her 'heaving bosom' isn't so heaving anymore.)

Lucius/student (...Need I explain?)

Any and everything that includes incest is wrong in my book. This means, no, Lucius can not screw his only son...nor can Narcissa. Sorry folks. Oh, there I go again, apologizing for things I'm really not sorry for. (Although, strangely enough, I'm not adverse to George/Fred.)

Threesomes. Sorry (not), but I can't stand Harry sharing Draco, and the thought of anyone else in the acceptable group 'getting it on' with more than one person is...-shudders-...get the picture? (But, again, if it's with Fred and George, it's more like one person, just twice the fun...gods, that sounds perverted.)

There will be 72 virgins waiting for you in paradise...April Fool's dumbass!!

I did the same thing with two Catholic priests, but I tossed in a small boy.

The Washington Monument looks nothing like the guy.

I contend that we are both atheists, I merely believe in one less god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods, then you will understand why I dismiss yours.

Attn Loyal Readers: Fear not, I have not given up on you! I am merely experiencing writer's block and hopefully a change in scenery will help cure this debilitating ailment. Also, the story I am working on is a bit long and I have found that breaking it up into chapters will be extremely difficult, so you will be rewarded for your wait with a long one-shot that I have christened with the title of Devirgified.
In fact, because I'm so nice, I'll even treat you to the summary:
'Virgins Needed! Debauched Need Not Apply.' …Does anyone else see the redundancy of this statement? Anyway, I'm losing my train of thought; Voldemort needs a virgin for a - strikes a pose wait for it - virginal 'sacrifice'. How exactly will he react when that pesky Potter inadvertently annihilates his diabolical design? And why is Lucius trying to shrink into the shadows with that culpable countenance?