lol..i stole this list of quotes from someone..i forget who though:

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit down. Can’t face me? Then turn your ugly face around!”

'Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today.'

'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'

'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'

'Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'

'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'

'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'

'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.'

'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'

'Damn you; damn the broccoli; DAMN CANADA'

'Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.'

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die'

'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.'

'The devil sold his soul to Gaara.'

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

'Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.'

'If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh.'

'Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?'

'What is this 'kindness' you speak of?'

'It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'

'Define normal.'

'These sunglasses sure make it hard to see in the dark but I refuse to take them off because I am an American!'

'I will call him George, hug him and love him and rub his fur the wrong way.'

'He who walks with wolves, learns to howl.'

'Of all the things I've ever wished that I know could never be, the thing I wish the most is that I wish I wasn't me.