OLA PEOPLZ!!! WELCOMZ TO MA PROFILE!!!

I'm Mystically Unique... I guess? Never mind. I suck at finding names and that's all my brain could come up with. I was forced to open an account in FF by my friends and I actually... like it. My age is between 10 and 100. Any guesses? No? Pity... I live somewhere in the galaxy, I guess? My name begins with a letter from the alphabet and guess what? It ends with a letter from the alphabet.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

What's the difference between a good friend and a best friend?

1. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

2. A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

3. A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

4. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

5. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

6. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

7. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

8. A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

9. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

10. A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

11. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

12. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

13. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

14. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

15. Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

16. Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

17. Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

18. Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

19. Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

20. Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

21. Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

22. Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

23. Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

24. Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

25. Friends: Fade...

Best Friends: Are 4 Eva!!!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
I promise to remember Edward
Each time I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there is a big boom
I promise to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
Everytime I'm at the mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
Whenever I see beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me that they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my true obsession
Because I know what Twilighters know

You have been diagnosed
with Obsessive Cullen
Disorder put this on your
profile if you have it too

In case you needed proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her.

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go.

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong.

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention.

When she pull's away
Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word.

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared
Protect her.

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay.

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up.

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand.

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers.

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does.

When she misses you
she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away.

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers.

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

I BELIEVE IN PINK

I BELIEVE THAT LAUGHING

IS THE BEST CALORIE BURNER

I BELIEVE IN KISSING

KISSING ALOT

I BELIEVE IN BEING STRONG

WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS

TO BE GOING WRONG

I BELIEVE THAT HAPPY GIRLS

ARE THE PRETTIEST GIRLS

I BELIEVE THAT TOMORROW

IS ANOTHER DAY AND

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

-AUDREY HEPBURN

If you're still reading this, then stop wasting your time and read the amazing stories in fanfiction. :)

"Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else."