Hi. I'm RenaJ159.

Favorite Movies: Shawshank Redemption, (James Cameron's) Avatar, Silence of the Lambs, Inception, Cinderella Man, Iron Man 1 and 3, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Mulan, Balto, Raise Your Voice, How to Train Your Dragon, (Tyler Perry's) Temptation, The Dark Knight, Jungle Book, Lion King (all), Brave, All the Disney Peter Pan's and about a billion others.

Favorite Animes: Future Diaries!, Stein's Gate, Eden of the East, Is this a Zombie? Baka and Test (seasons 1 and 2), Wolf's Rain, Samurai Champloo, Angel Beats, Witchblade, Welcome to the NHK, Soul Eater, Dead Man's Wonderland, Blue Exocist, Eureka 7, Trigun, Claymore, Death Note, Ergo Proxy, Avatar:The Last Airbender, Beck: Magnolian Chop Squad, Black Cat, Naruto, Neon Genesis:Evangeleon Angelic Days, FLCL (Fooly Cooly haha), Gurren Lagan, Code Geass, Tactics, Planet of the Beast King, D.Grayman, Eyesheild 21, Teen Titans, Invader Zim...Legend of Korra...

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins:$o.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!

o

People tell you to put on your profile:

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off!

If you are weird, crazy, insane, odd, not-normal, a freak of a psychotic nature, random or anything similar, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique. If you are weird and proud of it and you absolutely refuse to shop at Hollister, put this into your profile.

If you are overly obsessed with your computer, and admit to being in love with it, put this into your profile

If you have no life, enjoy anime too much, and people tell you you have no life, put this in your profile

If you think your pencils, pens, and paper grew legs and walked away on a daily basis, put this in your profile

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this ice ice ...

You remember:
-TGIF
-Step by Step
-Family Matters (i still see this every night")
-Dinosaurs
-Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons. (oh yeah)

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everything was settled by:
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching:
-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books

You remember watching:
-the 1st Batman
-Aladdin (we watched this all the time)
-Ninja Turtles
-3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

one word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" or "Missed me Missed me, now you gotta kiss me" then oh-so very maturely suck your tongue out.

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . X-BOX360...PS3

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.

You had slap bracelets!

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear., (-sighs- that's so sad -frowns-)

(So Cruel --) Men Are Like...

Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like. Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like Blenders. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head straight for your ass.

Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

Men are like ... Government Bonds... They take waaayyyyy too long to mature.

Men are like... Mascara. They run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

o

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley bored, Gem W, Bara- Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Carzy Billie Joe loving freak, shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/ fairy to be, The Gypsy- Pirate Queen, MCR Rocks, Andrew Laplante, Twilight's October Sky, LittleGothGirl13. KagomeMiko92, apparox148, the-purple-fuzzle, Tinatheturtle,doubletime twins, RenaJ159, Lawlieta12,

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Procrastinate NOW!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

I don't care if you insult me, but at least use correct grammer and spelling.

If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a parked car, copy and paste this into your profile. (me n my bff do this ALL the time!)

0

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't re post it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

If you easily finish a novel a day, copy and paste this onto you're profile. (yeah...some people get scared)

If you spend multiple hours a day reading and writing or a combination of both copy and paste this to your profile. (like right now)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head... copy paste this to your profile (doesn't everyone...hmm...i need to speak to my doctor)

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile (and i did not get caught!! yay spy movies that help you get away with things!! i take notes from them so i can use them later on...quite useful really)

Admitting you're weird means you are normal. Saying you are normal is odd. If you admit you are weird and like it copy this to your profile (and i like it)

If you've ever been on the computer for hours on end reading fanfics copy this to your profile

If you haven't died yet copy and paste this to your profile

If you are a "stupid smart person" copy and paste this into your profile. (I have my blonde moments...like everyone else)

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro! (well it does!!)

Unfortunately you've come to the end of

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up. repost if ur OCs are...different...

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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever considered making friends with the walls in your room copy this to your profile. (They'd be better than most of my options to socialize with...)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (I don't know if she'll ever read this, but that was for you Jazmyn... my slapafist friend)

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. (YES I HAVE!)

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

-If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Edward Elric is not short just verticaly challenged copy this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out copy and paste this in your profile.

If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid doors!... and balls... and pencils... and shtuph!!) copy and paste this to your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Please note: Christmas is cancelled. Apparently you told Santa you had been good this year. He died laughing.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are eventually going to die.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If your the kind of person who will burst into a mad laughing fit about something that happened yesterday, glue this hunk-of-junk onto your profile.

If you think about Avatar practically 24/7, copy and paste this into your profile!

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

REMEMBER WHEN ...
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was cOoTiEs?
when Mom was your hero
and Daddywas the boy you were gonna marry?
when your WORST ENEMIES were your siblings
and Race Issues were about who ran fastest?
when -WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you dislike those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wanted to touch Neji Hyuga's or Sasuke Uchiha's hair, paste this in your profile!

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at cars. See if they slow down.

2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

4. Put a trashcan on your desk and label it 'IN.'

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks, and when everyone is over his/her caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with,"...in accordance with the prophecy."

7. Don't use punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip instead of walk.

9. Ask people what sex they are, and then laugh hysterically when they answer.

10. Specify your drive-thru order as 'to go.'

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

14. Five days in advance, tell your friend you can't come to their party because you don't feel like it.

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream," I WON! I WON! I WON! Third time this week!!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,” Run for your lives! They're loose!"

Friends will ask you why you are crying but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

A best friend is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and still knows something's wrong.

A friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

You know you've got the greatest friends when the only time they make you cry is when you're laughing too hard.

Save trees: don't do homework!

The good news: I was right. The better knews: you were wrong.

I never make mistakes, I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.

The villagers are coming with torches and pitchforks. Please hide me.

If you met my family, you'd understand!

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'.

I have multiple personalites and none of them like you.

It's very simple. I'm right. You're wrong.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? (Like i would buy barbie in the first place)

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit"

Outragious Warning labels:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes (Whack) "Dang!" The skydiver goes, "Dang!" (Whack)

People With Way Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Pack of Scrabble Letters

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

When women are deppressed, they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why is it called the terminal is flying is so safe?

Why are they called 'apartments' if they are not separate?

Why is it that a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" if he is a MONKEY?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? (this one confuses me to no end)

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

I am that girl,

The one who likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up

-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this

You know you watch too much Invader Zim when:

1. You have a sudden craving to squeeze a rubber piggy.

2. You don't listen to politicians' speeches anymore... you vote for the tallest one.

3. Martians existed. And you know exactly what happened to them.

4. You pass out meat on Valentine's day instead of candy.

5. You talk in third person.

6. You block up your chimney on Christmas because you fear Santa's 'jolly boots of doom'.

7. The most terrifying image you can come up with is a moose eating walnuts.

8. You check your soap for bacon... just in case.

9. When you get a zit, you name it Pustulio and insist that he has hypnotic powers.

10. When a dog follows you, you're frightened that you're turning into bologna.

11. Chihuahuas are frightening creatures...

12. Tuna is worth NOTHING anymore.

13, Waffles are the best foods in the world. Period.

14. Being 'normal' is important beyond all else.

15. You've begun to wonder if your teacher can survive in the sun or not.

16. You've suspected that the nearby hot dog stand is controlled by aliens.

17. You wear a trench coat everywhere.

18. You don't eat proper meals anymore; only snacks.

19. You've tried to convert your basement into a secret base.

20. When someone calls you stupid, you respond with 'I'm not stupid. I'm ADVANCED'!

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with fists and hurtful actions, who is happy to have 8 real friends instead of 20 fake ones, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, Gothicwolfgirl, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Erma Buckles, butterfly1415, NotEverJulietNeedsARomeo (got this from fictionpress.net), Kisara the BlueEyesWhiteDragon, talkstoangels77, Wings of Wind, Stargazer-Aika, XShiori-ChanX, xXx13thGhosTxXx, Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,livelaughlove23, emmettsmyfave, Chellie09, BloodWhiteWolf, Shadow Kissed134, Gabbiehannah, KaAaArl, Emilywake TheGirlInTheShadows32810, LissyWhitlock, mRSEdWardcULLen4evr, Incurable smart-allic, RenaJ159.

97% of people would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there, eating popcorn and screaming "DO A BACKFLIP!" then copy and paste this as your status.