Here it is, at long last! The disturbing tale of Lord Elrond's mental toying with the citizens of Middle-earth... how he duped all the world with the ratings bonanza reality show most people know as "the Quest to Destroy the One Ring." The scandal! The passion! The drama! Go behind the scenes with those of us who are now in the know.

My entries for tolkien weekly, a prompt-based drabble community on livejournal.

Gorluk is an Orc (with the height and IQ of a seven year-old). But he is different from the Other Orcs because of his gentle nature, and his caring heart. When he is sent to spy around near the Misty Mountains, He comes upon a strange group of Travelers (who turn out to be The Fellowship). Having an interest in them, he decides to spy on them... (NO TENTH-WALKER NONSENSE)

Sequel to Haldir Interviews Sir. Douglas Mawson. Gandalf organises a search and rescue team, after realizing Aragorn and Faramir are still trapped in 21st century Australia. In Melbourne, to be precise. Chapters 1-3 re-written.

Join the Fellowship as they drive each other crazy on their mission to destroy the One Ring. And making sure that Merry doesn't eat it.

THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED.

Legolas is kidnapped by Arwen, being the victim of her affections, as she chooses him over Aragorn after one day's acquaintance.

Join Thor, Loki, and Jane as they compete for screen time and character development amongst jerky fathers, crazy elves, drunk physics, and utter crack.

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

The Council of Elrond is interrupted by a most unwelcome visitor and not even Gandalf and Elrond can fight off her powers. She is the deadly, the terrible, Mary Sue. Now a multi-chapter featuring the Fabulous Saruman, Orcs who shimmy, llamas, as many coconuts as you could want and the one and only Julian. And poor Sauron isn't exactly feeling himself either...

The Fellowship encounter a young maiden who is wandering alone. This maiden then promptly latches onto Legolas, much to the amusement of his companions.

A beloved character falls prey to wackiness and writes his own fanfiction, retelling The Hobbit, and forces the other characters to listen to the story. Colorful exaggerations, crazy fantasy, and outright lies will threaten the sanity of everyone. A sequel to Things As They Should Be. Please review!

You've all read those Mary Sue stories. A helpless earthling falls into Middle Earth, and joins the Fellowship, gaining the attentions of a certain elven Prince in the process. Well, the same thing happened to me. The problem? I'm no Mary-Sue. First off my name is Gary.

The ℱellowship of The ℛing would like to have a few words with us concerning some of the cliché stories that are abundant on this branch. I suppose we can say that the most of them are a tad bit peeved • Canon and Pairings, mostly • Will accept Requests/Suggestions • Chapter 47: "Treebeard ON - Run, Forest, RUN!" • Please Read • T for safety • R&R! • 100,000 HITS! • CH47UP!

Frodo goes on a search for WiFi Featuring: the Battle for the One Spotlight, pyromaniac elves, nose connoisseurs, Gandalf being a BAMF as usual, and general insanity.

What REALLY happened in Germany. DISCLAIMED

Just some LOTR short stories that I come up with randomly. There's no real schedule for updates. Perhaps not the best for die hard fans... (New ficlet posted: The Story Behind why Boromir Hates the Word "So")

In the road to Mordor Boromir is curious about the members of the fellowship.

Oneshot. Frodo is given a present in honour of his achievements, but he's not exactly pleased with it...

What if LOTR was a soap opera? What if Aragorn refuses to be king, Arwen is up to something fishy and Eowyn is desperate to find out? And what would actually happen if Elrond and Thranduil were best friends?

COMPLETE Letter correspondence between Elrond and Thranduil, mostly concerning a certain Elf and Ranger.

This is a compilation of recorded reactions of our beloved Fellowship to common mistakes made by Mary Sues. If you are a Mary Sue, for Eru's sake read this. Those poor guys have enough on their plate without random OFCs dancing the samba with their sanity.

The White Council has decided to counsel the inhabitants of Middle Earth through Psychiatry in hopes to create peace in Middle Earth. Will eventually showcase other beings from different worlds. See inside for further details.

Frodo inherits the one iPhone and goes on an epic quest to destroy it. Until all the readers realize that it's not so epic. In fact, it's downright stupid. Well, maybe not quite that far. Let's just say, insane, wacko, bizarre, weirdness. If you read, beware of mind-blowing oddity. And crazy parodies of life. That works. Yeah, now read it.

A drabble for all those who read too many stories with elves (or humans) speaking like they just fell out of a shakespeare drama. It's my first fanfiction and English is not my native language, so feel free to point out any mistakes. But please remember it's a PARODY!

What was Gandalfs REAL reaction when pippin lit the Becons? Read and find out! :) I own nothing except for my crazy stories! Please review! (Updated and fixed)

After the Quest, Sam's in need of something a little more practical to wear...(Written in 2009 for the LOTR GFIC "Dialogue Challenge" to write a story in all, or almost all, dialogue.) Book-verse, one-shot.

Boromor is speaking a bit... differently than usual.

The epitome of evil is not Sauron, but a bored Peregrin Took. It has been proven. Pippin gets bored on the way to Moria and asks Boromir a rather awkward question. Things spiral down from there. Legolas and Gimli exchange a few low blows and Aragorn gets insulted. Rated T for the question that Pippin brainbreaks Boromir with.

A little one shot story about the bromance between Legolas and Aragorn. Trust me...it isn't what you might think. Actually, most of you might want to read this if you absolutely cannot stand the bromance. Hence, please read and review! :)

Legolas tells Pippin of an interesting encounter in the halls of King Thranduil. This was written in 2006 as the last chapter of Lindelea's "To Tell a Tale", in which various people tell stories to Pippin, in order to keep him a-bed, during a bout of illness in Minas Tirith, post-Quest.

In Minas Tirith Sam and Pippin have a little quest of their own...(Written for the 2007 Shire Kitchen Recipe!Fic challenge.) Recipe!fic; book-verse; one-shot.

In Minas Tirith, Legolas returns to the guesthouse to find Frodo suffering alone. (Written in 2006 for Febobe) Book-verse, one-shot.

Is it seduction when it is wholly innocent and unknowing? Some can seduce without even trying. (Written in 2011, for Back to Middle-earth Month's Passport Challenge)

The Fellowship may be separated by distance and danger, yet in their hearts they all remain connected. (Written in 2009 for the 20 rings Community). One shot Quest-fic.

A brief look into Legolas' thoughts at Isengard, during the "Flotsam and Jetsam" chapter. A drabble.

In this two-shot, Legolas and Gimli write about the "personalities" of Elven and Dwarven realms, respectively, showing that the locations of Middle-earth are just as much characters as the people are.

Merlin is tired of Gaius telling Arthur that he is in the tavern. NOTE- This story has been changed slightly.

Another Lothlórien story about Pippin, Legolas and music, this one a bit tongue-in-cheek. Pippin teaches Legolas a traditional song of the Shire. Legolas teaches Pippin some Sindarin…(Written for 20 rings in 2006). One-shot Quest fic.

Pippin finds some height, then his foot meets someone new, then Legolas shows a different side of himself.

After the Warg attack, the Company tries to cheer Frodo up…

Elrond is finally visiting Greenwood after his long avoidance. He had expected things to go badly, for there to be some shouting, but what he got was very different... and he's not sure he likes it any better.

One-Shot. What would happen if the fellowship decided to drive to Mordor

The Interviewing crew, Haldir, Aragorn, Faramir, Gandalf, Pippin, Legolas and Merry go to Adelaide just to interview an explorer named Douglas Mawson. He's over 100 years old, and Haldir isn't the kindest interviewer. Oh dear. Set in 21st century Australia.

Loki is making the rounds. A series of short vignettes.

Frost giant babies are not the same as Asgardians. Frigga and Odin learn this the hard way.

Because not everyone has time to read the books or watch the movies...

Things the Fellowship would do or say - if I had my insane hand in it.

How most of the story could have been avoided [Also, my first fic and hilariously terrible]

A revised version of Aragorn, SHUT UP! Boromir immitates an elderly Ceaser, Aragorn steals his lines, Legolas states the obvious, The Return of Gandalf, everyone gangs up on Aragorn, and Gimli is awesome. All this and more, in Aragorn, SHUT UP! revised .

Legolas writes a fanfic and forces The Fellowship to listen. Warning: Characters will be made fun of. Lines will be changed. MarySues will die. Now complete!

A humorous short story showing how and why the Elves first came to Middle Earth.

One day Glorfindel gets himself a Motorcycle. What will happen when Arwen decides to steal it? Rated PG just to be safe.

Tired of being abused by Sues and their authors, Gimli and Boromir decide that for once they will get revenge. ON HOLD

Mary-Sue thinks that Glorfindel is Legolas, and nothing that he can say will change that. Watch as the denizens of Imladris torment the seneschal into more Balrog-slaying fits while they fight the woes of Mary-Sue and other evils.

Revised Version 1 of WDTDT? Series: Ever wonder why it was not Glorfindel who brought Frodo to Rivendell on Asfaloth? Here's a 'humorous' reason of what 'might' have happened. Featuring Glorfindel, Erestor, Arwen and Elrond.

According to the book, the Orcs of Moria pursued the Fellowship into Lothlorien. But what happened next?

A look at a few moments in Gimli's life leading up to the finding of Pippin by way of his foot.

Glorfindel, Elladan, and Elrohir cause mayhem. Enough said.

The Three Hunters are in Rohan. Then Gimli trips over, and blames it on the narrator...

The twins come across an admiring hobbit and decide to have some fun. The twins are fighting over frilly aprons! And what is Arwen doing on the floor? Elrohir, Elladan, Glorfindel, Elrond, & Arwen

Legolas makes pancakes! Fear him! Now including the 'Lost Pancake Tales' saga. PG for mild fantasy pancake-shaped violence.

Cooking: fun and relaxing hobby. Glorfindel and Erestor: two Elves who haven't cooked in their lives. Elladan and Elrohir: currently up to no good. Result: chaos. Revised May '06.

All Elrond wanted to do was sit in a tree and read a book by himself. Main Characters: every Elf in the vicinity. REVISED October '06.

Hey kiddies, do you know what a Mary-Sue is? I do . . . something that, during the course of this story, DIES! Muahaha!

Melkor is bored and looks for a fight

Was there one Glorfindel, or two? The Mystery is revealed, in this ficlet written especially for AW. (Happy Birthday, Blue Elf!)

The Hobbit AU. While the Dwarves are imprisoned in Thranduil's dungeons, Bilbo meets Legolas quite by accident. We find out why Elves don't smoke pipeweed. COMPLETED!!

Middle-Earth is about to end, and the last people left alive are Glorfindel, Gollum, and Mary-Sue. This story defies all logical comprehension, read at your own risk.

Stupid title, but hey, I think it's actually ORIGINAL! PJ burns the Fellowship.