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Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Your eyes are like a maze that I can get lost in. Woman: Then I hope you never get out. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angel? Woman: No, I took the escalator up from hell. Girl: do you think I am pretty? Boy: No Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and, tears streaming down her face the and the boy runs after her, boy grabbed her arm and said... You're not pretty you're beautiful. The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Advice for guys When she acts shy... -Say I Love You When she runs away from you... -Chase her When she puts her face near yours... -Kiss her When she kicks and punches you... - Hold her tight When she is silent... -Shes thinking of how to say I Love You When she ignores you... -She wants all your attention When she pulls away... - grab her by the waist and never let go When you see her at her worst... - tell her she's BEAUTIFUL When she screams at you... - Tell her you love her, you have to mean it When you see her walking... - Sneak up behind her and grab her by the waist and give her a kiss and hug her waist from behind. When she's scared... - Hold her and tell her everything will be okay cause she's with you, protect her. When she looks like somethings the matter... -Kiss her and tell her not to worry When she walks away from you mad -Follow her When she stare's at your mouth -Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you -Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you -Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet -Ask her whats wrong When she pull's away -Pull her back When you see her start crying -Just hold her and dont say a word When she lay's her head on your shoulder -Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat -Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you -Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn’t answer for a long time -reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt -Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you -she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands -Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret -keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes -dont look away until she does When she misses you -she's hurting inside When you break her heart -the pain never really goes away When she says its over -she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin -she wants you to read it. A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. Post this again after reading!! Or you will have a bad year of Relationships. If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Friend: Will go to a concert with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Friend: Asks me for my number Friend: Hides me from the cops Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Friends: Fade Good friend Vs. Best friend a good friend will comfort you when he rejects you a best friend will go up to him and say "it's because you're gay isn't it?" (no offence intended to anyone!) a good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you a best friend will pass him in the hall and whisper "seven days" a good friend helps you find your prince a best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you a good friend will help you move a best friend will help you move the bodies a good friend will bail you out of jail a best friend will be in the cel right next to you saying "That was AWESOME!! lets do it again!" a good friend will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing a best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you a good friend will help you learn to drive a best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance a good friend will help you up when you fall a best friend will point and laugh because they're the ones who tripped you[me] a good friend will go to a concert with me a best friend will help me kidnap the band a good friend asks you for your number a best friend asks you for their number a good friend will hide you from the cops a best friend is probably the reason they're after you a good friend lets you make an idiot out of yourself in public a best friend is up there with you making an idiot out of herself/himself too Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever. My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile. FUNNY QUOTES 1) The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. 2) Men, chocolate and coffee are all better rich. 3) Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you are up to. 4) Best friends are people who know all about us and still put up with us. 5) Okay! So what's the speed of dark? 6) What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 7) To steal an idea from one person is plagiarism but to steal it from many is research. 8) Smile and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they will think you are doing drugs. 9) None of us are virgins. Life has screwed with us all. 10) Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 11) I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 12) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 13) Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. 14) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 15) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 16) The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 17) A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." 18) There is a fine line between cuddling and pinning down someone so they can't get away. 19) Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? 20) A bus is a vehicle which runs twice as fast when you run after it then when you are in it. 21) Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. 22) Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter. 23) The road to success is always under construction. 24) If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. 25) Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film. 26) A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards..You need: 27) Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance? 28) Who says nothing is impossible. I have been doing nothing for years. 29) No comment is a comment. 30) The world is going to hell and I am driving the bus! 31) A good novel tells us the truth about its hero, but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. |
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