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![]() Author has written 9 stories for Twilight, Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal, and Death Race. Hey everybody! I am a senior this year! I can be completely and utterly random at the worst times. I break into laughter for no reason if I'm tired and I can't stop. My friends and I think that I am mentally insane. My brain is backwards, though not literally. I know a whole bunch of random stuff that nobody will ever use in the future. I just know all these facts and don't know where they are from. All of my friends are freaks. We are sorta the popular outcasts of our extremely small school, seriously, there's like 350 students in the entire school. That's what happens when you live in the middle of cornfields though. I love the rain. I can't stand the sun, it makes me want to go inside and read, not that thats bad or anything, 'cause I love reading. But my favorite type of weather is when it storms. I just feel safe. Weird, I know. I also hate the cold. I hate snow and the sun and the heat, unless I'm sitting by the fire in the winter with a cup of hot coffee from Starbucks and a book. I'm getting off topic, not that there was really a specific topic to begin with though. I hate it when people don't use correct grammar or don't spell things right. It's one of my pet peeves. PM me if you want to know something that's not on here, 'cause I forget stuff a lot. ;-) Name: Brianna, but you should probably call me either Bree or Khaos. Age: Finally 18! Hair: Long, dark brown hair with very blunt bangs Eye Color: I'm not sure. It's like a honey/brown/green color. Siblings: I have one 16-year-old sister. Zodiac: I'm an Aquarius. Fav. Books: Twilight series, Witch Child, Assassin, Impulse, Identical, The Host, The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray, Maximum Ride series, the House of Night series, the Mortal Insturments series, etc. Fav. Band: I absolutely adore My Chemical Romance, but I also listen to Green Day, , 3 Days Grace, Evanescence, Muse, Paramore, Good Charlotte, Avril Lavigne, P!nk, Metro Station, The Pierces, N*Sync, 3OH!3, Jimmy Eat World, Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab for Cutie, Avenged Sevenfold, and many others that I can't think of right now. Fav Color: It changes depending on my mood that day. Fav Movie: Action movies are my favorite, but I also love comedies. Those are the only types of movies I like, except for Titanic and Pride & Prejudice and Phantom of the Opera. Those are classics. I have never seen the Sound of Music or any of the Star Wars' movies. My friends give me all kinds off crap for not seeing them. I am in the process of writing several stories, but writing really isn't my thing, so it might take awhile. I have several quotes that I absolutely adore, but these are my favorites: Sometimes that seems like a great Place to be. Closed off from it all, In no need of love, no need of family. -Ellen Hopkins, Identical Maybe crazy is preferable to staying strong When you just want to break down and weep. -Impulse, Ellen Hopkins At least you know you’re not, Just a shadow, darkening Someone’s wall, a silhouette Thrust haphazardly into their lives. -Impulse, Ellen Hopkins Forever has no meaning When you’re living in the Moment. I wasn’t ready For that moment to end. -Impulse, Ellen Hopkins “Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.” -Calvin & Hobbes, Bill Watterson Sure God created man before woman, but then again, you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece. -Anonymous Woman was taken out of man’ not out of his to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved. -Anonymous We were given: two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find. -Anonymous Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. -Anonymous Well-behaved women rarely make history. -Anonymous It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. -Anonymous I think there’s a bit of the devil in everybody. There’s a bit of a priest in everybody, too, but I enjoyed playing the devil more. He was more fun. -I can't remember who this is by, but I know that they are Irish. MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... goddammit... all of our problems start with MEN! Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me. Friends help you move, best friends help you move the body. Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head. No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Don't lead me on, and leave me confused, any girl would rather be left alone, than have her heart abused. Friends tell you you're too good for him when your dumped, best friends call him up and say "You're gonna die in seven days." Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break? Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity. So... what you're saying is, I should cancel my plans to invade Germany, kill people, and blame Adolf Hitler? Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Friends ask you why you're crying, best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking. No I won't go to hell! They have a restraining order against me! Friends hide you from the cops, best friends are probably the reason you're running from them in the first place. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. If everything seems to being going well...you have OBVIOUSLY overlooked something... When life gives you lemons, go to someone whose life has given vodka and have a party! When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back… I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS! The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? People are like slinkies, completely useless, but oddly entertaining to watch fall down the stairs. Boys are like lava lamps: Fun to look at but not very bright. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. You were born an original... don't die a copy. Your right to smoke stops when it interferes with my right to breathe. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway. A day without sunshine is like... night. When life gives you lemons, squirt it in someone's eyes and say their life is worse. Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you. Its okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either. God, give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the strength to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to hide the dead bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I could've eaten Alphabets and crapped out a better essay. Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple sources is called research. When life gives you lemons, smash 'em with a mallet and scream "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!" Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs? I'm as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest. Boys are like trees. They take 50 years to grow up. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Have you ever wondered which hurts most: Saying something and wishing you hadn’t; or saying nothing and wishing you had? "Go forth and set the world on fire." ~ screw the metaphorical, literal all the way. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. It is a sad day when you fail your IQ test. It’s an even sadder day day when you fail your gender test. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Nobody talks to that guy. But let me tell you something. Every job I ever had in my life, I talk to that guy. I'd talk to him, I'd find him on purpose and I'd have little chit-chats with him, and I'd be very interested and be like, "By the way, here's a Snickers, that's for you. Peanuts, caramel, put that in your mouth, enjoy that." You know why I talk to that guy? Because when that day finally comes, and he snaps, and he comes into work with a sawed-off shotgun, walkin' through the halls (gunfire noises) and he finally gets to my office, he's gonna be like, "Thanks for the candy." (continues shooting) You laugh now, but you know Monday morning, you're gonna be like, "Heyyy, Marcus!" - Dane Cook If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you. Friends let you make an idiot of yourself in public, best friends are next to you making an idiot of themselves too. Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. How is it possible to have a civil war? Friends will help you find your way when you're lost, best friends will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions. Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. If you don't like the way I drive, then get off the sidewalk. Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Friends will help you learn to drive; best friends will help you roll the car into a lake to collect the insurance money. I'm not insane... I just do whatever the voices tell me to. Kids are the future. Be afraid, be very afraid! When life gives you lemons, ask for a lime. Stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer. I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework. Friends help you up when you fall, best friends laugh because they tripped you. I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said... .. ... ... ... ... "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you." (HAHAHAHAHA!) Guys with Emo hair are like a billion times sexier than other guys. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone. Yeah, I’m a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet. When life gives you lemons, entertain yourself for hours thinking how funny it is. Why is it, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older sister Reggie. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Reggie. Don't judge a book by its movie. Sometimes you put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. DORMITORY: PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE: SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: MOTHER-IN-LAW: Pick-Up Lines! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and I together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. The Little Boy's Doll I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever... The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Test for Smart People...I have determined that you qualify. The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90 percent of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old. | |||||||
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