This is just some funny things i have found that i think is really funny

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. (Yeah, It's called Edward Cullen)

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other

If you have ever tripped over air

i've got a jar of dirt. i've got a jar of dirt. and guess what's inside it.
-captain jack sparrow

Edward Cullen-Sexier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen-Stronger than you since 1916

Jasper Hale-Charming ladies since 1843

Rosalie Hale-Better than you since 1916

Alice Cullen-Quirkier than you since 1901

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together