Introduction:

I'll start by saying I stole the entire set-up of my profile from Royal Rose Red and I hope that she will be fine with that when she notices.

Now, anyway, I would like to introduce myself as Abraham Irato, of Birmingham, England, and I would also like to say it's a pleasure to be amongst such talented writers as those of Fanfiction.net.Unfortunately that would be a complete string of lies from the beginning to the end and I don't believe you all deserve that, although some of you do. To clear up what I'm saying I'll make a helpful list for you, lest you get befuddled by my choice of superfluous idioms and sayings:

First of all, my name is not Abraham Irato, although as far as you should be concerned it will be.

Second, I am not blessed enough to live under the Royal Family, but lucky enough to be ruled by their great, great, great grand entirely unrelated person and location of Ohio, in the United States.

Third, I do not wish to start with bad blood betwixt us but I have this mental condition, in which when I read the atrocities of the English language that are often passed off as stories here, I black out for sometimes several hours at a time only to reawaken and find a meat tenderizer in one hand and a battered corpse at my feet. But let's not dwell on that and be friends, right?

More About Me:

Favorite Movies: This is part of the curse of copying someone else's profile set up, I don't have many favorite movies. But rather than actually do any creative thinking of my own (I'm sure some of you fan-fiction writers are familiar with the feeling of lethargy I am expressing) when it comes to my profile, I will continue on. I'd say my favorite movies, in no particular order beside the one they are listed in, are The Producers (Musical version starring Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, while the original with Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel is still spectacular), Juno, Sweeny Todd: The Demonic Barber of Fleet Street, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Shaun of the Dead, Hot fuzz, and Silent Hill, even though I've never played any of the games but have heard nothing but good about them. Frankly I believe anything that can incorporate the sheer pants wetting terror of Pyramid Head and the creepy, faceless zombie children into an interactive medium is something to be admired and I'm getting off topic so I'll move on.

Favorite TV Shows: If there was any part of you that up to this point believed I was interesting, cool, or a decent guy to get to know, your opinion will change now. The ever valued slots of "Favorite Shows" in my world are occupied by little aside from cartoons and shows from the nineties. They are Anamaniacs, Freakazoid, Pinky and the Brain, Kenan and Kel, The original All That, Saturday Night Live from before they began sucking a great big spunk flavored lollipop, and just to appeal to the more recent crowd, House M.D.

Favorite Books: If you have been neurotically flipping between my profile and the profile of Royal Rose Red to try and find similarities to piece us together in some great mystery resembling that of the Zodiac killer, this is where things are going to start to look very similar, as many of the books I read were given to me by Triple R herself. The rest of the mystery such as the connection and the murder are up to you to solve yourself. Anyway, that I heartily recommend to all of you are What Happened to Lani Garver, Teen Angst NAAH!, Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (The entire series, if you please, although it begins to lose steam after a few books), Fall From Innocence: The Body, The Catcher in the Rye (My absolute favorite book, and it's not at the beginning of the list because I want you to actually have to read to get to the good information), The Body of Christopher Creed (Which is written by the same woman who wrote Lani Garver, which becomes blazingly obvious when you compare the two), and finally World War Z, for the zombie enthusiasts everywhere.

Favorite Bands: Seeing as my profile seems to be getting rather verbose and I have enough band names on tap to fill the pages of War and Peace twice over, I will be brief and list these as quickly and with as much brevity as I can: Reel Big Fish, Barenaked Ladies, They Might be Giants, Streetlight Manifesto, The Aquabats, Suburban Legends, Mu330, OK GO, The Fratellis, The Scofflaws, and that band that sang "Walkie Talkie Man." I think that was their only hit.

According to the "template" I "blatantly stole" from Royal Rose Red this is the part where I wrap things up, which is probably what you've been waiting for since the middle of the fifth or so paragraph, but you are the one who decided to laboriously drudge on to the end of this profile, be it rather interest or pure neuroticism in a desperate attempt to find a grammatical error or spelling mistake, so I take no personal blame. It is an aspiration for me to become a writer of sorts, which is to say something seeing that as far as dreams go, mine are about as involved as getting out of the bed and attempting to make some social interaction with the outside world. So I will wrap this up now before my writing resembles that of Hawthorne any further. I am a bitter shell of a man whose heart has long past dried up into a rotted little ball of cynicism and will not dawdle around telling you how bad your Voldemort/Hermione slashfic is and why it made me feel like sticking forks into my eyes.

So then. Have a good one.

~Abe Irato