Hi,

my name is Gwendolia (who would have thought, huh?! ^^) and I'm 19 years old.

I live in Germany, but neither German nor English is my first Language, although my english suck's more^^

I love reading and writing and think that slash-crossovers are the best thing ever invented-.-

I just started writing in english so they wont be the best (when I actually put them on) but I would appriciate all the help I could get^^

That would be all for the beginning, so see ya...(or not...)

My Favorite Quotes:

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad." -Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett (I Love Terry Pratchett!!)

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry." -Thief of Time byTerry Pratchett (what hurts is that its actually the truth and I know more people than I care to count who are like that)

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg. -unknown

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." -C.S. Lewis

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas A. Edison (and you have to be really stubborn to try it a for a 10,000th time)

"If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all." -Oscar Wilde

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." -Charles Dickens

“No. I'm driving. When Hell freezes over, you can drive again. No, I’m wrong. Even if Hell freezes over, I'm still driving, because I don't want you driving on the ice!” -Heero, Green Means 'Go' by Tynan

"..they didn’t even bother to get their facts straight. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!” -Malik, The Clothes Make The Spirit by Amarin Rose (an interesting perspective that could almost convince me to eat ’plants’)

"...we've found that while explosives are not the answer to all problems, the number of situations where they can't be used effectively in some fashion is extremely limited.” -Fred, Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619(ain’t that the truth)

"How is it that you can insult someone's belief system, occupation, intelligence level, and personal life and still manage to have them slavishly loyal to you?" -Sasuke, A Twist of Chance by MockV (I always get strange looks when I read this fic because I have to smirk, smile or outright laugh all the time)

"I've actually thought about that a lot, sensei. My guess is that there's this gigantic party going on somewhere. Maybe it's heaven, or maybe it's... not heaven. Anyway, where ever it is, and who ever is there? They're very, very drunk." -Naruto, A Twist of Chance by MockV

“I like waking up in the morning. It’s like saying ‘oh, look -I’m not dead’ and actually feeling relieved about it.” -Draco, Harry Potter and the Secret LinkbyCapricious Purple Clarity (that actually puts waking up in a whole new light^^)

Draco picked up a nearby medical text and began flipping through it for remedies to head injuries. “And how long have you been seeing people in your chocolate?” the blond asked in what seemed to be a professional manner.
“More to the point,” Harry added, “if there are people in your chocolate, why are you still eating it? I mean really, Ron...doesn’t that seem a bit odd? Homicidal, perhaps?” -The Lesser of Two Evils: Year One by lasaireigh (I can actually understand why he would still eat chocolate, I mean it’s nothing I would give up over some psychological problems )

"Who cares if someone knows the difference between asyndeton and alliteration?”
“I do.”
“Why? What possible importance could these words have in your life?”
“I’m a teacher. It’s my job.”
Blinks. “So you were paid to care.”
“I…guess that you could say that…”
“So…how much would it cost for you not to care?” (reaches for wallet). -Prisoner of Peace by Kabochya (there are a lot of math problems that make me ask the same question)

“I should have been a bit clearer in that fearing a made-up name is silly, but fearing an extremely powerful ruthless dark wizard is just common sense.”
“Ahh,” Sirius nodded. “Wizards aren’t too good with that stuff.”
Harry looked at Sirius in confusion.
“Common sense, I mean,” Sirius added. “Your mother always told me that instead of common sense, wizards got magic. Which actually explained quite a bit,” A Black Comedy by nonjon

...the stewardess had offered them both crayons and colouring books to keep them occupied during the flight. Naruto had refused his, but Sasuke had accepted and had spent the following hour drawing a precisely anatomically correct image of someone with a startling similarity in appearance to the stewardess being disembowelled by a three-year-old wielding a sharpened crayon. Itachi had to credit the boy’s ingenuity, but he hoped that Sasuke would not attempt to repeat such methods – crayons were very unwieldy weapons and so difficult to get clean afterwards. -Mahou no Shinobi byshinigami-lives

Dumbledore awarded Ron fifty points for the ‘best-played game of chess Hogwarts had ever seen’ despite the fact that there was really no objective way to measure something like that, Hermione fifty points for not poisoning herself or her classmates, Neville fifty points for lighting a rare and valuable plant on fire, and Harry got sixty points for not telling a responsible adult about Quirrell’s attempt to steal the stone and for endangering several of his classmates. Of course, Dumbledore might have phrased it slightly differently, but it was still blatant favoritism. -Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281

“Um, sir? Did you just compare me getting a potions answer to correct to Voldemort attempting to brutally murder me after brutally murdering my Mum and Dad?” -Harry, Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281

“So who are you then, if you’re not Harry Potter?” Fred asked skeptically. “And why do you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead?”
“Well, after that nasty little incident with the Dark Lord, my mother decided that lightning bolt scars were ‘in’ and shot a cutting curse at me.” Harry paused. “At least, that’s the official story. I think that was before my father had the courage to be cut off for three months by telling her that maybe she should leave the cooking to the house elves.” Fred and George just stared at him. “Hey, don’t judge! And I’m Draco Malfoy, by the way.” He peered at them suspiciously. “You ARE Purebloods, right?”
Wordlessly, Fred nodded.
George found his voice first. “YOU’RE Draco Malfoy?”
“You have a problem with that?” Harry crossed his arms.
“No, but…aren’t your parents blonde?” he asked.
“Your point being?”
“How can two blonde people have a black-haired son?” George asked reasonably.
“No, my mother was not having a very public affair with Severus Snape, how dare you even suggest that!” Harry screeched.
Fred held up his hands. “Calm down, he didn’t mean to offend you.”
“Well he did,” Harry sniffed. “In fact, I’m going to write to father right now.”
“Isn’t he still at the platform?” George asked, perplexed.
“Yes he is, but actually talking to your relatives is for half-bloods,” and with that Harry stormed off, wondering how on earth he had managed to keep a straight face through that entire exchange. -Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 (I certainly didn’t!)

Fuji Syuusuke was offering his most innocent smile to their kidnappers, several of which were sporting tennis-ball shaped bruises on their skin. The men looked at him warily.
"You know, you really shouldn't tie us up like this," Fuji said.
"We're the bad guys. Of course we're going to be tying you up," the largest of the men said rather crossly.
"I understand, but you shouldn't be tying us up like this," Fuji stressed. "It's not very efficient." His hands did something, and the ropes fell away. "See?"
The men stared at him, utterly horrified. Ryoma decided then that their kidnappers were absolutely idiots. He wondered what Fuji was up to.
...Ryoma wondered if he'd entered the twilight zone. Fuji was happily giving their abductors pointers on keeping prisoners. One of the men even had a notepad out and was taking notes.
He should have known better than to get involved with anything Fuji was up to. -A Tale of Two Tezukas by Aishuu

Merry put a hand over his face. "I didn't mean that they just ate people," he said. "I meant that they would eat people if given the chance."
-"Well, there's nothing wrong with that if people are the best food available," Duo said.
Everyone stared at him.
"I'm just saying," Duo added quickly, "that in the absence of other, more appropriate food sources, the occasional dead person can always be pressed into service as a meal. If they're dead before you eat them, they usually don't mind."
"Duo!" Wu-Fei groaned. "Please quit nauseating everyone with your perverse ideas of what constitutes food."
"People are a good source of readily digestible protein," Treize said, "but in decent societies, we tend to frown on consuming our own kind."
Duo grinned. "I didn't grow up in decent society."
"We know!" the other Gundam pilots exclaimed in unison.
"Anyway," Duo continued. "I wasn't necessarily advocating the eating of people. I was just saying we shouldn't judge trolls harshly because they do."
"I'm sorry," Merry grumbled, "but I'm going to judge anyone who tries to eat me harshly." -The Fellowship of the Gundam by MomsDarkSecret

“Fuji-sempai snuck into hell.”
“Snuck?” he asked, recalling how the tensai had always seemed a bit…sadistic, especially when it came to Inui’s notorious vegetable juices. They didn’t send him there?”
“They were actually sending him to heaven,” Ryoma shrugged, tugging at his cap. “But I think he was curious or something—he did say he didn’t want to get reincarnated because there was all that unexplored territory out there—so he ducked in when they weren’t looking. I don’t think they’re used to trying to keep people out.” -Because God Said No by Alaena Flame Dragonstar

"Okay, Hermione, you say thinking proves you exist? What about the chair you are sitting in?"
Hermione looked at Luna, down to the chair, then back up to the blonde witch. Hermione's lips began to move as she worked herself into a rant. Anything Hermione was about to say was stalled quite suddenly as her chair quite suddenly ceased to exist, leaving the poor witch to fight vainly with the laws of gravity moments before falling on her butt. Standing, Luna peeked over the edge of the table.
"That wasn't very nice, using your logic to prove that chair did not exist." Luna lamented, her voice thick with sadness at the loss of a chair. "It was in the prime of its life too." -Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot

"You are so wasted in the business world, Quat. You could be Dictator of the Universe, no blood shed, in about six weeks if you really put your mind to it."

"Don't tempt him," Heero ordered, "He'll start thinking about it, then, just out of curiosity, he'll come up with a plan, then he'll start wanting to see if it would work, and the next thing you know, he'd be Supreme Ruler Quatre R. Winner, and the pres would be calling me his Consort, and I'd have to kill you for giving him the idea." -Duo and Heero, Dragon's Ghost by LittleMouse

Heero frowned. On the face of it, it sounded like a compliment, but he also recognized the teasing light in Duo's eyes. "What do you mean? I think I'm a pretty considerate room mate. At least I clean up after myself."
"You're a super roomie and I wouldn't swap you for anything but you have to admit...well, remember when I found you scowling and threatening our house plants?"
"Relena told me they grow better if you talk to them."
"To them, not at them, and I don't think they take orders well. Then there was the time you drew your gun on that door-to-door salesman."
"He asked me what I would do if I was attacked alone at home at night."
"He was selling security systems but in hindsight it's a mark of progress you didn't shoot him out of hand. Remember the time you turned the house into a sauna?"
"Quatre wanted the heater repaired."
"Yes, repaired, not boosted five hundred percent. It's just a good thing Wufei intercepted you when you started asking around for a small fusion reactor." -Trial and Error by Maldoror

“Hey, everyone watch out for this puddle. They’re always easy to miss on days when it hasn’t rained in a week.”
“If it hasn’t rained in a week, why are there puddles?” Tazuna asked sensibly.
“Magic?” Naruto suggested.
“Genjutsu?” Sasuke offered.
“Ninjutsu?” Sakura tried.
“Alas! I am slain!” Kakashi said as shuriken chain cut him in two.
“Nice try, but the log was already dead,” Sasuke said flatly. -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281

"Naruto seems to make it a point to collect friends," Tenten explained. "People may try to resist - notably Neji - but in the end, it's inevitable. You'll either become his friend or die trying not to be. -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281

I turn back to the chessboard and notice half my pieces are now gone. “What the hell, Barton!?”
“What?”
“My pieces! What did you do? You cheated!”
He gives me a flat stare. “It’s called strategy. I moved my pieces. You weren’t moving yours, so I took the liberty to move them myself.” -Oh, Injustice byone-hep-cat

"Temari's right," Ino said, rolling her eyes. "We really could replace you with a button that said 'troublesome' and no one would notice the difference. -It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281

Everyone thought Cloud Strife was using Zachary Fair in order to get promoted.
Obviously, everyone didn’t know Zack as well as they thought. In fact, if Sephiroth didn’t know how hard Cloud worked to keep Zack’s ass out of trouble, Cloud would have been demoted. Several times. And possibly deported. -Point of Contention by tir-synni

Obviously, the man needed it spelled out for him. “Your visit couldn’t have waited until a decent hour?”
Sirius, smirking lazily, replied, “In some time zones, this is a decent hour.”
“Not. This. One,” the blond responded haltingly through gritted teeth.
To which Sirius shrugged nonchalantly and responded airily, “Hey, it’s not my fault you live in a crappy time zone.” -Harry Potter and the Forgotten Heirsby Capricious Purple Clarity

“I’m sorry, Minerva,” he said at last, with genuine disappointment. “But you have unfortunately been branded from Sorting with the red and gold of Gryffindor.”

“I suppose saying ‘go to hell’ would be unprofessional.”

Snape shrugged. “When has a Hogwarts teacher ever been professional?”

“Too true,” she said shortly. “But seriously, Severus, you can’t possibly expect me to—”

“Minerva, it takes a Gryffindor a year to solve a puzzle. Your graduating class has a tradition of wearing robes declaring ‘Dare me. I am Gryffindor’ on the back. This is a job for a Slytherin.”

“…Severus, last year’s graduating class of Slytherins wore badges saying, if I recall correctly, ‘All your dark corners are belong to us.’”

“…‘Gryffindor. Because thinking beforehand is overrated.’”

She glared. It was not on par with previous glares against (on various occasions) Filch, Quirrel, Dumbledore or the Weasley twins, but it was a terrifying thing nonetheless. “And your own graduating class,” she continued loudly, pretending he hadn’t spoken, “wore hats with silver sequin covered velvet snakes wrapped around them that hissed ‘kill him, he’s not one of ours’ whenever faced with a student wearing the colours of another House.” - from A Mistaken Sorting by Silver Pard

"This, I think, will need a rather lovely blend of violence and subtly. We may even need extreme explosives."

"Work interests me; I could just sit and watch it all day long."

"I don't like walls, they don't like me. It's a mutual hatred."

"There's something impossibly disturbing about the fact that I am the result of my parents doing the dirty."

"I have the world's best gaydar! I can always find the gay man in a room - the only problem is he's usually the only one I actually like."

"Orochimaru is a pedophile. There is never concrete evidence but with just one look at the guy and you know - you know! - he gets off to little boys."

"My history teacher is the type of person who is always kind, never raises his voice, and always wears a smile. There's just something about that smile though that tells everyone that sets sights on him that he has a collection of corpses in his basement that he's planning to turn into human sausages."

"If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candle light."

"I do not like this word, 'Bomb'. It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

"Whoever eats nerds is a nerd."

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was god and I didn't."

"100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?"

"Eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?"

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"A friend is someone who's there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else."

"In any sufficiently large group of people, most are idiots."

"You tried and you failed, so the lesson is, never try."

"The whole world is going to hell, and I'm driving the bus!"

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."

"I'm going to live life, or die trying."

"Politicians and diapers both need to be changed... and for the same reason."

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay."

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?"

"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."

"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because, even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."

"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

"I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming!"

"One guy had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumb print."

"Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark."

"At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: My dad owns a liquor store."

"A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty."

"A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country."

"The word 'Politics' is derived from the word 'Poly', meaning 'Many', and 'Ticks', meaning 'Blood sucking parasites'."

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. By then it was too late."

"Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death."

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

"There are three rings of marriage: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."

"NBC: No Body Cares."

"I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."

"Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture."

"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives."

"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more."

"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief."

"Violence may not be the answer, but it's sure as hell a lot more fun than signing a peace treaty!"

"We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep - Not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action."

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

"Everyone's entitled to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." (Mark Twain)