I'm a 40-something divorced mom, secondary English teacher, technical writer and editor of software solutions, and an avid reader. With regard to fanfic, I read it but don't write it because I suck at writing fiction. However, I do write software reviews for magazines, end user documentation and online Help (nobody reads them...they just call tech support), and the occasional feature story about REAL people. I like to read and review fanfic while simultaneously researching trends in writing.

I also beta for two lovely writers: Lalina and yesyov. Their stories are wonderfully written. Go check them out!

Twilight Fanfic You Should Read

Come workout with Trainerward and Fatella in Let's Get Physical. Who knew the reward would that fabulous!

Meet Mobward in The Sacrificial Lamb, a story full of action, adventure and suspense with an ending that will leave you speechless and clamouring to read the sequel.

Someone is out for revenge and will stop at nothing until Edward and Bella are dead in The Lion and The Jackal. (Read The Sacrificial Lamb first)

Too much alcohol and a one-night stand between Mystery B and Eddie over 20 years ago had unexpected results and left fuzzy memories. Follow Dan, Cassie, Bella, Edward, and the rest of the Cullens on a journey of love, self-discovery and acceptance in The Ties that Bind.

Tattoos, piercings and cupcakes in a heartwrenching story about immeasurable loss and suffering that can be healed only by a love that can't be denied in Clipped Wings and Inked Armor.

Gutbusting laughes with Pink Nightie Girl, Wallbanger and his harem, and a Q-tip lovin' cat named Clive in Edward Wallbanger.

Asstard meets Pissgirl while running from The Screamers.

A tale of legends and prophesy tells of The One who will defeat the Volturi in Broken Doll.

See my Favorites tabs below for more stories and one-shots.

For the love of all that is grammatically correct, learn how to use I, me, him, her, he, and she correctly. PLEASE...my little grammarian heart can't handle the pain!

Fave Curse Word:
Almost any variation of the F word with special affection for motherfucker; there are no bad words only bad people. :-D

Things that make me happy:
-great sex
-good friends
-spending time with family
-British humor
-Godiva chocolate
-Haagendaz Coffee Ice Cream
-caffeine
-Imported beer: Okicum Palone, Hoegaarden, Peroni, and my new fave, Optimator.
- 5" and 6" platform heels and stilletos
-a good book
-work/life balance

Things that make me sad:
-words "infinitesimally" and "incredulously" seriously make me want to stab my eyeballs with a fork
-son's allergy to cats (his hair falls out in patches - no kidding)
-study of literature where meaning is subjective and there is no absolute
-sappy commercials
-lonely, hungry people
-Smallville's 9th and possibly 10th seasons (I love Tom Welling, but I want to be free of this albatross.)
-not being able to buy Hoegaarden and Okicum Palone in my state anymore

Things that piss me off:
-whistling in public
-popping and smacking gum
-dishonest and manipulative people
-men who talk marriage and merging furniture on the first or second date
-men who expect me to bring my life to a screeching halt for a quick romp
-text messages and phone calls after 9 p.m.

Music:
Chris Cornell's vocals bring me to orgasm. I have a weird fascination with the German group, Tokio Hotel. My music tastes are varied, and I play what fits my mood. By and large, I prefer parental advisory music of the rock and alt rock persuasion...the harder and dirtier, the better I like it.

Movies and TV:
Mindless action flicks and a good teen movie; foreign films with subtitles.

That's probably way more than you care to know about me, but I always enjoy reading others' profiles. Cheers everybody!