Hi I'm Kayle9. I'm weird, so get over it. I beta Twilight and Harry Potter stories and review. Most of my writing will be one shot, fluff mostly. But I will mostly beta and critique. P.s I live in Canada not U.S. I just wrote my very first fluff! It's Neville/Luna! I also did an Alice/Jasper. I like writing one shots, so if you send me a prompt, chances are I'll write it. You have to write the actual lemon though...

Soundtrack of my LifSe (My Choices):

Opening Credits: My very own theme song !!

Waking Up: Tik Tok by Kesha

First Day at School:

Falling in Love: I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family

Fight Song: Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects

Break Up: Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift

Prom Night: Bella's Lullabye by Edward Cullen

Life: Meet me Halfway by the Black Eyed Peas

Mental Breakdown: Super Massive Blackhole by Muse

Driving: Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees

Depression: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Flashback: Time of your Life by Green Day

Getting Back Together: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift

Wedding: Love Story by Taylor Swift

Birth of a Child: ummm

Staying Strong: According to You by Orianti Panagaris

Final Battle: 21 Guns by Green Day

Funeral Song: Old School by Hedley

Final Credits: So What by Pink

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have EDWARD!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Edward Cullen-Sexier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen-Stronger than you since 1916

Jasper Hale-Charming ladies since 1843

Rosalie Hale-Better than you since 1916

Alice Cullen-Quirkier than you since 1901

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.

9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.

8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.

7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.

6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.

4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.

3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.

2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles

And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?

1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"

10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."

9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling

3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.

10 ways to annoy Bella Swan

10. Ask about Eric.

9. Ask about Mike.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.

10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.

9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.

8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.

6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.

4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.

3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?

1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen

10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.

9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.

8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?

7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”

6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.

5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.

4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.

3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.

2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.

And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?

1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black

10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.

9. Call him a space heater.

8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.

7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.

6. Inform him that real men sparkle.

5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.

4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.

3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.

2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.

And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?

1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.

Words of Wisdom- Kinda:

Only some liquor tastes good, most are crap.

Goldfish are unable to do anything because they have no freakin memory.

Dancing oddly in your room is O.K. Dancing like that in public isn't

Wear underwear when you go to school, because people WILL be disgusted by the lack of it.

Do NOT sit on a band room floor.

You will have lots of fun on long bus rides if you're with like- minded people.

Your bus WILL break down, so be ready.

Dressing like a slut won't get your crush to like you.

You will NOT be able to lick chocolate off your elbow without dislocating it unless you are double jointed. (Man, that was some GREAT chocolate though)

Eating and looking healthy IS accapted in today's society, don't let yourself be told otherwise.

In Latin, men and slime are the same word- coincidence? I think not!

Latin Phrases that WILL come in handy:

These are useful, because no-one will understand what you are saying, and youcan't get in trouble at school for swearing

Irrumator= bastard

Flocci non facio= I don’t give a damn

Te futueo= screw you

Bovis stercus= bullshit

Moecha Putida= Dirty slut

Canis filius= son of a bitch

Futue te ipsum= go fuck yourself

te meam mentulam sugare= suck my dick

Matris futuor= Mother fucker

Te odeo, interfice te cochleare= I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon.

Stercus accidit= shit happens

Lupa= slut/ prostitute

Fac ut vivas= Get a life

Potes meos suaviari clunes= You can kiss my ass.

Noli nothis permittere te terere= Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Raptus regaliter= Royally screwed

Vae= Damn

Tace atque abi= Shut up and go away

Viri sunt Viri= Men are slime

Tuam matrem feci= I did your mother

Quando omni flunkus moritati = When all else fails, play dead

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure = I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

"And now Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." Albus Dumbledore

“Everything’s going to change now, isn’t it?”- Hermione Granger

"Ah, music... A magic far beyond all we do here!” Albus Dumbledore

"Books! And cleverness! There are more important things--friendship and bravery and--oh Harry--be careful!" Hermione Granger

“Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” - Albus Dumbledore

“Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.” Albus Dumbledore

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Albus Dumbledore

Death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it awhile.

“You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." Albus Dumbledore

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world." M. McGonagall

"There's no need to call me sir Professor." Harry Potter

"Accio Brain!" Ron Weasley

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." Ron Weasley

"Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts." Ron Weasley

“For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.” Fred Weasley

"I doubt it will make much of a difference...unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the entrance hall." M. McGonagall
"Well, usually when a person shakes their head...they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans --" M. McGonagall

“We teachers are rather good at magic, you know.” M. McGonagall

"Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?" M. McGonagall
"I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look at Umbridge directly in the eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher." M. McGonagall

"Never stick your wand in your back pocket!" me to friend
"Is that even physically possible?" friend to me
"Wrong wand, pervert." me to friend

Private Messages (PMs) - FanFiction.net

It should be like your skirt- short enough to keep it interesting, but long enough to cover all the important parts. – Mrs. Rosa

What if... What if you replaced a hip with a bomb? –Stephan H.

“J'adore le loup-garou et le chien! Ils sont très beau et les heirs soirs ètè très bien!”- me in Fench class, really loud. It means "I love the werewolf and the dog! They are very handsome and the last nights were amazing!" My teacher put me in counseling for that after blushing. Ahh, the sweet innocence of virgins! (jk, she just stared at me for a long time then pretended that it didn't happen. heehee)

Dumbleporte. Porte is door in French.

"OK, I'm going to take this glass rod and rub it with this fur scrap (rubs rod in extremely suggestive way).5 min laterThis rod is all excited, as I like to call it, and is positively charged. I'm going to touch it to these balls (aluminum wrapped ping pong balls) and look! They don't like each other. Now I'm going to take this negatively charged rod, and touch it to these other balls. Now one set of balls is positive, and the other is negitive. When I put the balls together... Look, they're happy to see each other!" Atom video in Chem. Being the mature 9th graders (and teacher) we are, we start laughing.

"Wait.. you've had sex? Oh my god, that's SO weird! Are you married?" Stephan to our pregnant teacher, (8th grade) who decides not to answer and continue with the class.

"Are you planning on having kids?" Stephan to same teacher (7th grade)

"Just because I write it doesn't mean I read it!"

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Choose-Me or your life?
Boy: My life.
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
"The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason why I chose my life is because you are my life."

V for Vendetta- Remember, Remember, the 5th of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. i know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

Has anyone noticed that Sirius' initials are SOB? It's so true though, Walburga was a bitch with a capital B.

The Black family motto is Toujours Pur (Always Pure). Seeing as Sirius had sex with EVERYBODY, does that mean he broke the motto? Because he is deinately NOT pure, in any way, shape, or form.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN so I must be a Nazi

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be gay... To explain- I wear clothes that guys can wear. All girls do. Hello? Ever heard of sweatpants?
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character copy and post this into your profile

If you have ever accidentally swore or explained a sex concept to one of your friends in front of a teacher, C+P this to your profile

If you ever heard distant voices in your head C+P this in you Bio

If you ever talk to yourself or talk to someone who says "Are you talking to me?" or "Who are you talking to?" in any language C+P this in your Bio

If you ever feel weird and alone in the world C+P this in your Bio

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever freaked people at your school and still do, copy this on to your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you ever wondered who the HELL came up with the idea of bending in front of a cow and squeezing the flappy pink things under it to see if something comes out and DRINKING whatever crap comes out, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to (Bitch) SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO

If you think the people who don't do copy/pastes are just too damn lazy, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.

If sometimes, when you are hanging out with friends, you aren't sure if you're high or not, C+P this to your profile

If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever laughed during something sad and depressing and ruined a moment, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever started cryig for no reason at all, especially in a class, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever imagined what it would've been like if you got a letter to Hogwarts, C+P this to your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

FRIENDS: Wonder about your romantic history.
BEST FRIENDS: Could blackmail you with it!

FRIENDS: Don't know your parents' first names.
BEST FRIENDS: Have their phone numbers in their address book.

FRIENDS: When visiting, acts like a guest.
BEST FRIENDS: Open your refrigerator and help themselves.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" that was fun!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shite and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

Quick! write down 12 characters cast of Harry Potter!

1. Luna
2. Minerva
3. Harry
4. Hermione
5. Dumbledore
6. Remus
7. Neville
8. Ginny
9. Ron
10. Malfoy
11. Snape
12. Tonks

01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Remus/Snape...yes, I do believe.

02.)Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Hermione... yeah

03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Umm..Tonks/Ginny Is that even possible?

04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

not really...Ron..

05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Minerva/Remus...maybe, if it wasn't for Dumbles and Tonks.

06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Dumbledore/Ron...Dumbledore/Malfoy...ewww

07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Neville seeing Minerva and Tonks...poor boy, he'd run screaming.

08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

Harry/Malfoy...Harry runs into Malfoy three years after he lost Ginny..

09.)Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?

Luna/Ginny totally!

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Neville/Tonks... Morph

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Hermione corners Luna after transfiguration

12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?

Neville No... is there any?

13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Harry...i do..

14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

I like healer pomfrey...snape

15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?

No...but that would be egg-salad!

16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Fuck! Malfoy.

17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Ginny/Remus...Full Moon

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Tonks/ Luna/ Remus... Warning: extreme freaky

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Malfoy on Minerva "Wow, you are really pretty for someone so old!" I dunno!

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

last week

21.) What is Six's super-secret kink?

Umm... werewolf

22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

Would Snape shag Ron, not unless they were drunk.

23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

Harry top, Neville bottom

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

" Luna and Ron are in a happy relationship until Luna suddenly runs off with Hermione. Ron, broken-hearted, has a hot one night stand with Snape and a brief, unhappy affair with Tonks, then follows the wise advice of Dumbledore and finds true love with Harry."

As the Clock Struck Midnight... This Author decided to write a crack- fic.

No friend list to read it.. write it? Hearts.Are.For.Losers maybe (hint hint)

25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

umm Ginny/Neville...okayyy

Super-Hero Name (favorite color and favorite drink): Silver Smoothie

Star Wars Name (first three letters of last name, first three letters of first name, last three letters of mother's maiden name): Dickayhee (I feel the force...)

Arabic Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name): Acbalan

Goth Name (black and the name of one of your pets): Black Licorice(my other options were Jessie, Tina, Bruiser, Mittens, Fella, Bugsley,Lucky...)

Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): E. William (how do I speel my mom's name

Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s mom, father’s mom): Christine Dena

Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Kayon (Isn't there a book called this?)

Gangsta Name (first 3 letters of first name plus izzle): kayizzle

Detective Name (favorite color and favorite animal): Silver Hedgehog

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the person that realized their throat was sore because of their recent suicide attempt.
I am the girl who killed herself after being called ugly one too many times.
I am the person who was jailed for trying to protect my family.
I am the girl who wonders what I did to make Daddy hurt me and Mommy.
I am the girl who got kicked out because I am pregnant with my rapists child.
We are the couple who didn't love each other enough to make it through a child.
I am the woman who is heartbroken because I got an abortion.
I am the man who was beaten for being gay.
I am the person who was disowned for thinking differently.
I am the woman whose child hates her because of her work.

RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

You will receive one body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire time you're here.

You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn the lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, and experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.

A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

There is no better a place than here. When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

Others are merely mirrors of you. You can not love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

These are quotes I have found I think explains each house.

Hufflepuff
"People don't care what you think unless they think you care."

Gryffindor
"Stand up to what is right, even if you're standing alone."

Slytherin
“Winning means rising each time you fall."

Ravenclaw
"What lies before us and behind us aren't as important as what lies within us."

This poem is awesome. It's not mine, and I take no credit for it. I just copied and pasted it from somewhere else.

If nobody knows the real you, copy & paste this on your profile.

If you've been the only one to get an innuendo and then almost died laughing while everyone looked at you, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever realized, during the middle of their class, that your teacher has had sex, and then got such bad mental images that you couldn't look at them for the next week, C+P this onto your profile.

If you've ever been a bitch to someone just cuz, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever been girl- talking with one of your boy friends, then realized they have no clue what you were talking about and the girl who you've talked to twice understood perfectly, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever face-palmed or face-desked because one of your teachers obliviousness to their innuendos, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever been tempted to swear at a teacher because they are just that bad of a teacher, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever been caught in a compromising situation, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever walked in/been walked on by a guy friend while one of you is changing, C+P this to your profile.

If you're band teacher has ever walked in on you while you were changing for band/winterguard, C+P this to your profile.

If you're wondering why you're still reading my profile, C+P this to your profile.

If you think about stealing some booze while your parents are away, just to try it, C+P to your profile.

If you ever wondered what happened to no discrimination against anyone (including homosexuals), C+P this to your profile.

If you have ever had a brilliant idea, then forgotten it, C+P this to your profile.

If you have seen the Deathly Hallows sign with 'Toujours Pur', then laughed cuz they had it wrong, C+P this to your profile.

If you understood that last one, C+P this to your profile.

Pessimism is good. If you are always pessimistic, you will never be disappointed, due to the fact you are always be thinking of worst case scenario. If you agree, copy & paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

"I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks.

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front.

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8.

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter.

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke.

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages.

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?

Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson

"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg

"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare

"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry

"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin

"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses- or Monty Python

"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong

"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush

"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss

"In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa

"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld

"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon

"This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

sarcasm; my anti drug.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.
forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a volvo.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore.

i am a twilightaholic.

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs(except Edward Cullen of course!!)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this.

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN THEN COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward Cullen

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Don't Like My Obbsession?
Bite Me. Avada Kedavra Me. Your Choice

And if you've read it, then congratulations- I have just wasted about half an hour of your life. Seriously. Look at the clock. I know. Time flies, doesn't it?

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too