Hello, I am vair vair excited...not sure why...hm. Anywho, I am using this account to practice lemons...! I will not reveal my other account for personal reasons. Now, enjoy me stories!

The story I'm working on now: You Are So Annoying, Kiss me!

Playlist:

Hot Avril Lavign

Sea legs The Shins

When I grow up Pussycat dolls

Look after you The Fray

Hook up Katy Perry

Won't want for love The decemberists

This may not make sense and its not in order, but thats what I listen too.

The little tid bit below really reminded me of my story (If I Could Do It All Over Again) When Bella is debating an abortion.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high-school /college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If one of those inanimate objects is your microwave, copy paste this!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm the most useful

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

I chose the the high rode but got lost and had to circle back to the lbeginning

I chose the high rode but ended up driving off a bridge

My short-cut turned out to be the longest way possible

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think Bella is whiny, copy paste this to your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are ruler of that own little world, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are married to Edward in that world but having a secret affair with Jacob copy and paste this to your profile

If you want to smack everyone who actually copy pasted the above copy paste onto their profile because Edward is better than Jacob, copy and paste this to you profile

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you were Team Edward, then got converted to Team ~_Anna_~, copy and paste this in your profile

If you pretend Edward is actually real and looking out for you where ever you are, copy paste this to your profile

If you tried jumping off your roof because you thought Edward was watching and he would save you, copy paste this to your profile

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world!

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed).

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P )

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. (I MEAN COME ON!! I'M A V-A-M-P-I-R-E, THEREFORE HUMAN IDENTIFICATION IF POINTLESS!!)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

If you can connect anything to Twilight, copy and paste this on to your profile.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top

By An Unknown Author

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America...is it legal to shoot crows but against the law to keep them as pets.

12. Only in America...do we have escalators outside of health and fitness buildings.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a rode sign:

Warning: this sign may have sharp edges.

(And?...)

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!)

If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your best friend's pencils suck, copy and paste this into your profile.

People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune...

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.

If your friends are surprised that you haven't given them A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. (Then I fell down the rest of the stairs, that were luckly covered with carpet, and let me tell you: IT FLIPPIN' HURT! I THOUGHT I'D BROKEN SOMETHING.)

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tried to fit three of your friends and yourself in a revolving door and gotten stuck, copy this onto your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get horrible grades but are still the smartest person in the world, copy this to your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

If you're so lonely, not even the voices in your head are talking to you anymore, copy and paste this to your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

I don't under stand the sizes any more. There's a size zero which so stupid, it must stand for "OH, my god you're thin."

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! But you still have permission to hide under the table.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in tin foil.

My sweet heart was actually a bitter ass.

Boys are like purses; they're cute, full of crap and replacable

All the good ones are either gay, married, or robots

All the good men are either gay, married, or Edward and Bella snagged that one out of the water before the rest of us could blink an eye

Vests are good because they protect people. Like a bullet proof vest protects you from bullets, a life vest protects you from drowning and a sweater vest protects you from girls

Some people say I have a simple state of mind but they're wrong. I have a very difficult state of mind and that's why I'm always arguing with it

Boys are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. And then went to change his tampon.

When I laugh, he's in hysterics. When I cry, he weeps. When I hurt, he is in agony. When I jump of a cliff, he sits down and tries to figure out what he did wrong. So when I ask him what he's thinking about he says, "Why are you so damn moody?"

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901

Anna Cullen: Is prettier, cooler, specialy abled-er and totally better than you since forever

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

When he asked me out I said, "Are you sure?"

When I was left broken hearted, he came along and duct taped my heart together again, then looked at his messy work and said, "Hell, just take mine."

Some one who truly loves you:

1. Takes you in, no matter how damaged and broken you are

2. Never says goodbye, but instead says, "See you soon."

3. Never asks why, just holds onto you until the tears are gone

4. Never sudjests the salad instead of the burger

5. Will argue if they think diffrently instead of agreeing with everything you say

6. Could just watch you for hours doing something you love to do

7. Will try new things just for you

8. Never lets you down

9. Will go with you to all of the twilight movies even if they think Rob Pattinson is a fruit

10. Will listen to you obsess about the movie when you get home

11. Won't worry that you'll dump them and take your chances with Rob Pattinson because they Trust you

12. Is some one you can trust with a delicate, broken heart because they have the most carefull of hands

13. Is someone you love back

14. Is someone you can come up with a fifteenth reason for

15.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (SUGAR!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.

If you think tellatubbies are scary, copy paste this

I don't think, I know.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, HermioneGranger1993, Twilightluvr, Obsessededwardcullenluver, Edward's ONLY True Love, Arianna Cullen,vampiressbella2009, Writingaddict1019, Lemonygoodness12

Story status:

Golden Rays: Updated every sunday possibly more

If I could do it all over again: Whenever lol

Mafia Boy & Bread Girl: Hiutas until further notice

You're so annoying! Kiss me!: Hiatus as well.

The reason I'm only working on 2 stories at the moment is because Im trying to update consistently. I know where Golden Rays & If I could do It all Over again are going so I'll start with them first.