"The funny thing is, once you've solved the mystery, there's little much else to discover. It's there, staring you smack-dab in the nose. And then what? Your beautiful enigma has been slain. Now, do you hang it on your wall? Or do you set it free?"

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

"I'm seriously nothing special..."

Name: Nik. That's not my real name, but I answer to it.

Gender: I'm a chick.

Species: Sometimes I wonder about that. ;D

Ethnicity: "American"... Irish/Italian.

Location: Suburbs of Chicago. Get me oudda here.

Occupation: High school student. Part-time pedobait.

Hobbies: Bashing my social networking connections, being a band geek (flute, pl0x), acting and fangirling for my school's theater company, and doing this right here. Writin'.

Dislikes: Algebra, snotty little "punk" boys in their technicolor Hi-Tops, rap music, and red meat. Oh, and people who claim to be "ubergays", whereas their homosexuality is defined by excessive donning of rainbows and not the personality. YOU ARE HETERO. DUMP YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND GET OVER HIM.

Religion: I'm a spiritualist, caught between Christianity and Neo-Paganism.

Yearly Income: I live with my MOTHER. I don't HAVE a JOB... Kind of too young to have one?

Relationship Status: Que? Es complicated.

Sexual Orientation: LOL! That I ask myself that question... Never you mind.

Biggest Idiosyncrasy: I'm extremely cynical and love to rant about things.

MY WRITING:

"It's nothing special. Just a way to express joy about my passing muses."

Style of Writing: Kind of hard to describe. I'm sort of a hopeless romantic writer of fics, but my own stuff has a little bit of everything. Very fusion.

Favorite FF Genres: Romance, Angst, Comfort, Tragedy.

Favorite Subgenres: Smut and fluff. Drabbling is appreciated here.

Favorite In-Story Elements: Handcuffs, strawberries, chocolate (specifically LIQUID CHOCOLATE), sadism, and yes, situational suicide.

Least Favorite Genres: "General". Umbrella term-? Eat my suspenders.

What I Dislike In Others' Writing: Substandard English skills in a serious and what should be adult story, especially smut. And if you're going into gross detail about said smut, try to do it gracefully and gently. I hate coarse anatomical terms. Also, parody and crossover is fun, but if you're doing it, acknowledge the author, pl0x. It's obvious if you're doing crossovers you are not Stephen King.

Favorite Authors/Influences: Anne Rice, Jody Lynn Nye, Wm. Shakespeare. Vladimir Nabokov.

Very Favorite Canons: Castle, Star Trek: The Original Series (and the new reboot film :D), Strawberry Panic!, Harry Potter.

Favorite Characters in Said Canons: Kate Beckett (WELL, DUH), Richard Castle, Spock, Kirk, Suzumi Tamao, Aoi Nagisa, Konohana Hikari, Nanto Yaya, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Luna Lovegood, and Ginevra "Ginny" Weasley. All of these I strongly identify with.

Ships I Sail: Caskett (SQUEEEEEE), Spirk (... Oh well), Nagao, Hikaya, Remus/Tonks, Luna/Ginny (RANDOM).

Ships I Sink: Beckett/Sorenson (GET YOUR LIPS OFF OF HER), Spock/Uhura (WTF?), Kirk/Random Alien Fieldwoman (WTF), Shizugisa, Amanikari (is stereotyped), Ginny/Cho (hate each other).

I Also Hate: Random yaoi pairings. Like, yes, I get the whole Org. XIII is a pairing. Get the fuck over it. Axel/Roxas is a cute couple, for example, but you all just can't get over the fact none of them can "feel". And yes, so is the Akatsuki. Well they're all busy trying to get the job done, so. Pfft. Stay OC, at least. Also, most yaoi (in series) is very out-of-context, and none of the characters experience consequence. It's just like, "RANDOMBUTTSEKS?:P"... Or does that please you? :x I prefer yuri, thank ye' very much.

CONTACTING ME:

"Creepers GTFO, kthnxbai."

First and foremost, I encourage anyone wanting to make a request, bitch, or what have you- try PMing over FanFiction.net first, okay? I try not to tie myself down to social networking or instant messaging.

But if you're really persistent, here are your addresses.

AIM: FoxenChann

Furcadia: Contact over Aelinor, Catalina More, or T'Shai.

LiveJournal: COMING SOON.

E-Mail: daringdetective@yahoo.com.

NO MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK 4 U, LOL. Not until I know you pretty damn well, at least.

"And now for something completely different..."

QUOTES 'N' STUF.

"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she Mrs.Weasley thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge." -George Weasley (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum." -The Weasley Twins (HP:SS)

Harry learned quickly not to feel to sorry for the gnomes. He decided to just drop the first one just over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank his razor sharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off until -
"Wow, Harry - that must have been fifty feet!" -Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map.

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball." -The Marauder's Map, HP:PoA

Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
"I let you sleep in my bed!" he said. -Ron Weasley, HP:PoA

"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.
"I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks." -HP:GoF ("The Quidditch World Cup")

A week after Fred and George's departure, Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way." -D. Umbridge, HP:OotP.

Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That's why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.

Weasley was born in a bin,
He always lets the Quaffle in,
Weasley will make sure we win,
Weasley is our King.

"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'" -Upon Asking About Inferi In DADA, HP:HBP.

He Slughorn seemed remarkably unabashed for a man who had just been discovered pretending to be an armchair.

Castle: We could always make it strip poker.
Kate: Sorry, but I prefer mystery to horror.

Kate: No signs of struggle. He knew her.
Lanie: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead?
Kate: I do. Every Saturday night.
Lanie: A little lipstick wouldn't hurt.

Esposito: (about Castle) The man's got the Mayor on speed dial. The rich really are different.
Kate: You want him? He's yours.
Esposito: A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no, that's gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

Castle: The 70s are back; they're like the Highlander that just won't die.

A Spock Fangirl's Philosophy? Acknowledge the Illogical as Logical.