Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father.

PREPARE TO DIE.

Anyways, hey, my name is... HA!!! Not telling!!! I cannot disclose my name in fear that I will be located, so for all due purposes my name is Sweet Ass Mama, or for short S.A.M. I currently live in Gucciland at the residence of Prescilia (it's an inside joke). I love books, movies, art, music of all colors, Brittana, money, photography, food, and CUDDLEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I'm too gay to function and I'm currently an overemotional wreck due to fictional lesbian couples. You can find me on tumblr at immadancingwithmyself.tumblr.com, TheNightcrawler300 on deviantART, and as Fly Blackbird Fly on FictionPress. I've deleted all my old fics and am starting over with my Hunger Games fic, but I'll probably be focusing on my original fiction. And by the way, my profile pic was drawn by me, it's of Sidney Carton from a Tale of Two Cities, for when I was reading it for school last year.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be having sex with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (actually, kinda am :P)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER(s), so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I have more than 5 horses, so I MUST be a hillbillie
I grew up in a bad neighborhood, so I MUST be a gang-banger

The Review Revolution...

Even if the fic has 10,002,464 reviews already...(sad, huh? Especially when better stories have less reviews?)

Even if the fic is older than time itself...

Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...

Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...

Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...

I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics. I have joined Review Revolution.

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son copy and paste this on your profile.

Appearance: I'm of pretty average height for my age, about 5'5 or so. My hair is brownish-auburn (sorta) and is unreasonably curly. I've got eyes that alternate between being the gorgeous blue eyes of an angel and the most flat shade of gray ever. I'm fairly tan, I don't burn easy. I'm little shubby wubby so no bikini season for me. But I'm still sezzy as hell (or so I like to act) so I'm fine with that.

Favorite color: I don't really have one. I love all colors, depending on the shade and all.

Salty or sweet? I like both.

Favorite sport: To watch? Football. To play? Softball or tennis

Sing or dance? I can sing fairly well, my voice just cracks sometimes and compared to some of the kids in my musical theater class I sound like a tone-deaf goose. When I dance I look like I'm suffering from epilepsy, so yeah, I guess I prefer to sing.

Diamonds or pearls: Diamonds: a woman's best friend besides chocolate and Oprah.

Nicknames: Priscillia, Sweet Ass Mama, That Bitch

Birthday: March. That's all you folks are getting.

Origin: Georgia, US. Home of the great Honey Boo Boo -_-

Tea or coffee: I love coffee (especially Starbucks. It's so overrated but I love it), but I adore tea. So both.

Favorite TV Shows: Glee, The Walking Dead, Sherlock, Doctor Who, The Voice, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Gravity Falls, Pretty Little Liars,

Favorite Animes/Mangas/Comics: Bleach, Elfen Lied, Shiki, Fullmetal Alchemist, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler), Fairy Tail, Homestuck

Favorite Movies: Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Edward Scissorhands, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Pirates of the Caribbean, Alice and Wonderland (basically anything with Johnny Depp in it), 21 Jump Street, Avatar, Iron Man 1 and 2, Thor, Avengers, Kick-Ass, The Hunger Games, Where the Wild Things Are, Tron: Legacy, Tangled, The Polar Express, Here Comes the Boom

Favorite Video Games: Any Halo, any Pokemon, any Rock Band or Guitar Hero, old school NES games, especially the older Mega Mans.

Favorite Books: Harry Potter series, The Power of Five series, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Maze Runner series, The Giver, the Bodies Left Behind, Alex Cross series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus series, Warriors series, Hunger Games trilogy, The Outsiders, Holes, Inkheart, A Series of Unfortunate Events

Favorite Singers/Bands: Christina Perri, FlorenceThe Machine, Switchfoot, Lily Allen, Young the Giant, Skrillex, Maroon 5, Coldplay (BEST BAND EVER), Linkin Park, The Beatles (2nd BEST BAND EVER), The Fratellis, 2CELLO, Frank Ocean, Bruno Mars, Led Zeppelin, Daft Punk, Bassnectar, John Mayer, James Taylor, fun., Journey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, PSY, Foster the People, Eminem