Hey I'm Scarlettunicorn, well thats not my real name but Im not excactly going to tell you that am I? Anyway...

Favorite Quotes:

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Guns don't kill people. I do. Mwuhahaha.

People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual.

Smile. It confuses people.

Taste the rainbow- EAT CRAYONS

Being normal is overrated.

Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.

YOU GAY FAG!!!! HAHAHAHA I just called you a happy bundle of sticks!

You laugh because I'm little different; I laugh because I rigged your house with explosives.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I live there and don't really want to see you everyday.

Stalkers are your best friends, they just hide behind trees more.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every last minute of it!

I'm such a REBEL. I leave a message BEFORE the beep.

Don't walk in my footsteps, I walk into walls.

I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my handle, here is my...other handle? Shit now I'm a suger bowl.

Rules For Hogwarts (just because they're funny):

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda

- I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

- The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it.

- It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

- "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

- Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey."

- I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs

- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

- Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July...

- Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

- I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office...I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group... Especially not with kazoos.

- The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

- Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden.

- There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man"...Even if I do conjure him up.

- Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

- The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate... Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

- I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins.

- I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

- I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me."

- Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas.

- Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

- Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

- I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.

- I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever.

- If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change... I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.

- I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.

- I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.

Ok I seriously want to recommend an awesome author who wrote one of my favourite fanfics so far (the books and pranks series) called vcbxnzm21

To all my dear followers of Evil Stirs. I'm sorry to say that I am deleting my story as I have had severe writers block causing me to lose interest and I also had some messages through and it seems I had more haters than likers. But if you want to adopt the story as your own feel free and give me some credit after all it was blinking hard work creating 11 chapters. Don't worry though I will have something up soon. That story just wasn't working for me. Thank you and sorry again. xxx