Hey Hey. So, this is my profile.

Don't you love what I've done with the place?

This made me giggle so I asked the author (CutewithacaptialQ) if I could post it here and she said yes! Check out her page! Now! :)

Just Another Twilight Spoof

Hermione's thoughts watched Ron across the dinner table:

There were about three things I was absolutely positive of.

First, Ron was a prat

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that part was-that hungered for my pork chop

Third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Sorting-Hat.com say's:I'm a Ravenclaw!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I live in the COUNTRY, so I MUST live on a farm.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am an AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion (I am tho!)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I wear BLACK nailpolish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problemsI am a white South African- so I MUST think all blacks are worthless and support segregation.

copy and paste if you agree

1. YOUR REAL NAME

Piper Marie Asquith

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(first 4 letters of real name + izzle.)

Pipeizzle (ummm... no!)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(fav color and fav animal)

Green Elephant

(yes, because that just screams MYSTERY!) ;)

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(your middle name and the street you live on)

Marie Kings River (Snort!)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)

Asqpi (How would you pronounce that?!)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME:
(Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite soda)

Blue Dr. Pepper

(AHA! Shake w/ fear evil villains!)

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME:
(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any
letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd
letter of dad's middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and
last letter of your moms middle name)

Iqmioku (... really?)

8.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(both parents middle name)

Floyd Lou

(okay... seriously?! I'm so not a dude!)

Here is a bit of fun for the people who are bored. Enjoy!

SCATTERGORIES. ..it's harder than it looks!
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things.. nothing made up!
Try to use different answers for each one. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME: Piper

BOY NAME: Perry

4 LETTER WORD: Pain

GIRL NAME: Petunia

OCCUPATION: Play Write

A COLOUR: Purple

SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Pants

BEVERAGE: Punch

FOOD: Potatoes

SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Pink Bathrobe

A PLACE: Paris, France

REASON FOR BEING LATE: Perfectly annoying little brothers who always want to bum a ride...

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: "PIPER, GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED BEFORE YOUR LATE FOR SCHOOL AND I TAKE YOUR CAR KEYS!" (shouted by my dad basicly everyday. I am SO not a morning person...)

List your ten favourite harry potter Characters.
1. Draco Malfoy
2. Ginny Weasley
3. Ron Weasley
4. Luna Lovegood
5. Fred/George Weasley
6. Harry Potter
7. Sirius Black
8. Severus Snape
9. Albus Dumbledore
10. Neville Longbottom

Have you read a 5/10 fic before?
Fred or George in love with Neville? Um no. Can’t say I have.

Do you think 3 is hot? How hot?
Ohhh yes. Like on a hottnes scale of 1-10, Rupert Grint is like a million and two. :)

What do you think would happen if 6 got 1 pregnant?
That’s only a little impossible.

Do you recall any good fics about 9?
Actually, I’ve never read any fanfiction where Albus Dumbledore is in the pairing…

Would 7 and 2 make a good couple?
If a good author wrote them, then yes. Anyone else, absolutely not.

What is a better couple? 4 and 8 or 4 and 9?
Severus/Luna or Albus/Luna. Well seeing as Albus is like 150 years old…. I’m going with Severus. Besides, I actually think they would make an okay couple…

What would happen if 7 discovered 3 and 8 in a secret relationship?
Sirius would kill Severus if he walked in on him and Ron going at it… and then Ron… and then himself… XD

Make a twenty five word summary for a 2 and 6 fic.
Urggg…. Do I have to?! Finnnnneeee…. “Harry and Ginny. Destiny brought them together at Platform 9 and ¾ but it was their love that made them stand the test of time.” Better? Good.
Is there such thing as a romantic fluff story for 4 and 10?
Well yeah… it’s Neville/Luna. I don’t particarlly like it but a whole lot of other people do…

Suggest a title for a 1 and 5 hurt/comfort fic.
There is no way some one could write a hurt/comfort fic for this pairing. Therefore, I refuese to awnser. ;P

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,
Your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home...

POP QUIZ!

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

It was with my mom:

(After a loud crash) Mom: "Piper! Are you okay?"

Piper: "Yeah, I just ran into the door."

Mom: "Oh no! Did you scuff it again??"

This was our actual conversation, I kid you not.

Where are you?

My favorite place in the WORLD: my bedroom!

Look up. Now look back.
What did you see?

My dresser and my television (along with other countless things cluttering my room, not that you want to hear them.)

What's the last thing you ate?

Veggie Burger! :D

Say "George Bush".
What's the first thing that comes to your mind?

9/11

You now have a million dollars.
What do you do?
PAY MY COLLEGE TUITION! :) If I had any money left after that, I would tithe 20% of the remaining money and put the rest into savings.

What are you eating/drinking right now?

I have a glass of water sitting on the night stand. Speaking of... *takes drink*

What are you writing RIGHT NOW?

I'm working on a Poetry piece at the moment.

Find a globe. Spin it.
What does it say?

Drum Roll* The Atlantic Ocean!

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18.
What does it say?

"The fair-haired vampire pulled open the station's door with trepidation, like it might be booby-trapped." Taken from Chapter Five of Stargazer by Claudia Gray.

What can you hear right now?

The fan whirring.

Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

Seeing as everyone in my house is asleep, I'll scroll through my phone's address book and whoever it lands on I'll call.

And the Winner is: Kaitlyn!

after about six rings*

"Hullo?"

"Hey best friend!"

"Piper?"

"Yes?"

"It's midnight."

"I'm aware of that."

"Is there any thing you needed?"

"Not really."

"You're a freak. Go to sleep."

and she hangs up. She's mean when she's sleepy.

Turn on the T.V.
What show is on?

The screen savor of my DVD player. I was watching a DVD???

Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.
What's the first thing you see?

My Desk! :)

Find the third letter of all your answers.
What do they spell?

Wfdg/yamrheeed :)

And yet another pointless survey.

Hi, my name is: Piper.

But you can call me: Converse.and.Tshirts

Never in my life have I: Traveled out of the Untied States.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Mason, my little brother.

My school is: back in session this Thursday.

When I’m nervous: I rub my tongue against my permanent retainer.

The last song I listened to was: Brick by Boring Brick by Paromore

If I were to get married right now it would be: To Hunter, the best boyfriend I could have ever asked for. I love you!

My hair is: thicker than Hermione's. Though, it's not at all bushy. (thankfully.)

When I was 4: I lived in Wisconsin. Ahh, I miss those days.

Last Christmas: I went on a vacation with my best friends! Wild times, my friends.

I should be: asleep...

When I look down I see: my green sheets. :)

My happiest recent event was: Monday, August 16, 2010. My one year Anniversary with Hunter. :)

By this time next year: I will be starting college! Go Bears!!!

My current gripe is: School. Thursday. GRRRR! At least it's Senior year.

I have a hard time understanding: Calculus. :(

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: My mom probably.

I want to buy: a new TV

Where do you plan to visit: Europe. This summer! As a graduation gift! :DDD

If you spent the night at my house: We'd have a blast!!

The world could do without: Slaughter Houses... They are horrible!

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Red Low-Top Chucks. :)

Most recent thing someone else bought me: ... Green Low-Top Chucks. (Yes, I'm slightly obsessed with these shoes. I have like twenty pairs.)

My middle name is: Marie

In the morning I: make a cup of coffee. I'd dead with out it.

Last night I was: hangin' with my besties. :D

There’s this guy I know who: I plan on spending the rest of my life with. :)

If I were an animal I’d be a: Cheetah :)

A better name for me would be: I've always thought Annie was a pretty name.

Tomorow I am: Going to lunch with my dad. :)

Tonight I am: probably not going to sleep to much.

My birthday is: in February.

I got this survey from: Bittersweet X

(Another) Random Questionairre:

1)If you had a son and daughter what would you name them?

Daughter: Cynthia Grace

Son: Samuel Ashton

2) If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only have one book, what would it be?

How To Get Off A Deserted Island. ;)

3) What's your favorite subject in school?

English

4) If you could be friends with any celebrity, who would it be?

Emma Watson. She seems like a really down to Earth kind of person.

5)And Lastly, Do you see the cup as half ful or half empty?

Half Empty, if I'm being honest.

Preferred name: Piper

Favorite color: Green

If you could have anything right now… Peanut Butter Crackers. (My favorite snack! You can't beat a classic...)

Favorite article of clothing: My Beatles t-shirt. My Uncle went to one of there concerts and got a shirt. He gave it to me for my 16th birthday. :)

Have you ever been cut…? Uh, no. I can't say that I have.

If you could change anything about your appearance… I like the way I look, actually.

Favorite alcoholic beverage: None, thanks.

Favorite number: 11

Half empty or half full? Half Empty. What can I say? When you have low expectations, you'll always end up happy.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate Total

Do you eat the apple peal? Yes

Turkey or chicken I don't eat meat, but I LOVE tofurky. (Tofu Turkey)

Morning person or evening person: Me? a MORNING PERSON??? *laughs uncontrollably*

Hey! Yeah, you. Now that you know a bunch of useless information about me. I should probably tell you I had a different identity on ff.net for a while. So if you see the name "twilight.dork74" you know it was me. Just so you know. Bye now.