Good evening. This is Miss Effie, and I am here today to tell you about my dear friend, Jerrygirl (a.k.a. My Angel of Music). Even though that’s not her real name. She joined the Witness Protection Program years ago, and every since then has been referred to as Jerrygirl. Revealing her real name would alert the Mafia to her whereabouts, and they would be forced to hunt her down and kill her.

She asked me to write this biography of her because I am her idol. Or maybe the reason was because I offered to. (Her old autobiography sucked, I have to say).

Jerrygirl is a wonderful person that I have had the great misfortune…err…fortune of knowing. (Sorry, sometimes I get confused with my words). There are many wonderful things about her, but I’m sure you lot don’t really care. You want me to get down to the juicy, rotten core of her personality, right? All the rich gossip and character flaws. Unfortunately, other than her strange connection with the Mafia, Jerrygirl doesn’t have many flaws. She is a wonderful writer. She enjoys candlelight dinners…or, I’m sure she would, if Ryan Gosling would accompany her (clad in his old man hat). Tara is a great reader (despite her love of these damned Apocalypse novels), and she is very funny and engaging. She doesn’t like oranges, strawberries, peanut butter or people stroking her head. Her favorite movie is "The Shawshank Redemption," but she also loves "Bend It Like Beckham," "Pirates of the Caribbean," "The Mummy 1 & 2," "The Phantom of the Opera," and "The Best of Chippendales." (I was just kidding on the last one).

Oh, and, unlike me, she does PHYSICAL schtuff. I know, crazy, right? She is totally like, a girl Beckham, I tell you what.

Ships that Jerrygirl enjoys are R/Hr, H/G, J/L and Hagrid/Dobby. Teehee. (This is JerryGirl and Miss Effie completely added that last one too. I only read that ship because she told me too. It’s not like I go out of my way to find it. grin)

Well, she has informed me that this is a good summary of her life…that’s right, her life is so pathetic that it can be condensed into about six paragraphs. Now that, that’s funny. Anyway, I am going to sign off…I’m tired of this useless prattle. It is above my station. Once you finish reading this, and all of Jerrygirl’s stories, go read mine. What? You expected me to write Jerrygirl a biography and not plug my stories in it? Ha! You silly people.

Goodbye, my Angel of Music. Goodbye, dear readers.