You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration, hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

Some people are Optimists. Some people are Pessimists. I am a Murphyist.

Name: Jason

Age: 36

Location: The vast labyrinth of my imagination

Occupation: Librarian

Favorite Anime: Bleach, Naruto, One Piece, S-cry-ed, Yu Yu Hakusho, Gundam Wing/G Gundam, Code Geass, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Rosario Vampire, Samurai 7, Fairy Tail, Highschool DxD, Sekirei, RWBY, Akame ga Kill, My Hero Academia, Seven Deadly Sins

Favorite Games: Persona 3: FES, Persona 4, InFamous 2, Assassins Creed(II, BH, RV, III, IV, Rogue), God of War III, Bleach: Soul Resurreccion, Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, Final Fantasy VII, Legacy of Kain: Defiance, .hack//G.U. Trilogy, Mortal Kombat(2011), Prototype 2, Transformers: Fall of Cybertron, Dishonored, Tales of Xillia, Tales of Xillia 2, Persona 5

Favorite Books: Harry Potter, Dark-Hunter, Chronicles of Nick, The League, Twilight, Mortal Instruments/Infernal Devices, Inheritance Cycle, Annals of the Chosen, Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus, Kane Chronicles, Deltora Quest, Animorphs, Hunger Games, The Phantom Tollbooth, Ready Player One, The Dresden Files

Favorite Quotes:

"Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

"Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!"

"Sic Semper Tyrannis"

"Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses"

"The man who believes he has no flaws has another"

"Those who cannot hear the music think the dancers are mad"

"If it can go wrong, it will"

"Common sense is not as common as we think it is"(This one's mine)

"What fools these mortals be"(I use this one quite a lot)

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it"

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy"

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task give it to a lazy man - he will find an easier way to do it.

Best Movie Lines/Exchanges:

Captain America:
Hydra Guard: Cut off one head, two more grow(gets shot)
General Phillips: Well, let's go find two more.

Clue:
Col. Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me.
Col. Mustard: Right

Clue:
Prof. Plum: Forget the key unlock the door.
Mr. Green: I can't unlock the door without the key! Let us in! Let us in!
Col. Mustard & Ms. Scarlett: Let us out! Let us out!

LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring:
Gandalf: I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor! The dark fire shall not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the Shadow. You...Shall Not...Pass!

LOTR: Two Towers:
Theoden: Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red dawn!

LOTR: Return of the King:
Theoden: Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin, and the world's ending!

LOTR: Return of the King:
Gimli: That still only counts as one!

Order of the Phoenix:
Umbridge: Potter! Tell them I mean no harm!
Harry: I'm sorry Professor. But I must not tell lies.

Final Destination:
Bludworth: I'll see you soon.

Matrix:
The Oracle: What's really going to bake your noodle later is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?

Matrix Revolutions:
Smith: Wait... I've seen this... This is it, this is the end! Yes, you were lying right there just like that and I... I... I stand here, right here and I'm... supposed to say something...I say... Everything that has a beginning has an end, Neo.

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows:
Simza: What do you see?
Holmes: Everything. That is my curse.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights:
Sheriff of Rottingham: King illegal forest, to pig wild, kill in it at is!
Everyone: What?
Sheriff of Rottingham: I mean, don't you know it is illegal to kill a wild pig in the King's forest!

Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End
Cutler Beckett: You're mad.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this'd probably never work.

History of the World Part 1:
Torquemada: How we doing, any converts today?
Guards: Not a one. Nay, nay, nay.
Torquemada: We've flattened their fingers. We've branded their buns. Nothing is working. Send in the nuns!

Spartacus:
I am Spartacus!

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street:
Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeny Todd: With fellow tastes in women, at least.
Judge Turpin: What's that?
Sweeny Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then, the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner, a dog, is not particularly memorable.
Judge Turpin: Benjamin Barker.
Sweeny Todd: BENJAMIN BARKER!

Independence Day:
Russell Casse: In the words of my generation, "Up Yours!" (Laughs) Hello boys. I'm baaaaaack.

Avengers:
Captain America: And Hulk...Smash.

Avengers:
Loki: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I shall not be bullied...
*Hulk pummels him into the floor*
Hulk: Puny god.

Avengers: Endgame:
Captain America: AVENGERS! ...Assemble.

Avengers: Endgame:
Thanos: I am inevitable. *clink*
Iron Man: And I...am...Iron Man.

Nightmare on Elm Street:
The Little Girls: One two, Freddie's comin' for you. Three four, better lock your door. Five six, grab your crucifix. Seven eight, stay up late. Nine ten, never sleep again.

X-Men:The Last Stand:
Juggernaut: Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

300:
Persian Soldier: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.

300:
Persian General: Spartans. Lay down your weapons.
*a spear flies out and impales him through the chest, and he falls out of the saddle, dead*
King Leonides: Persians! Come and get them!

Lion King:
Scar: Ah, my friends.
Shenzi: Friends? I thought he said that we were the enemy.
Banzai: Yeah, that's what I heard.
Shenzi and Banzai: Ed?
Ed: *Laughs maniacally*

Watchmen:
Rorschach: The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, "Save us!" ...And I'll whisper, "No."

The Usual Suspects:
Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that...he is gone.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park:
Ian Malcolm: Now, you're John Hammond.

Batman Begins:
Batman: I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you.

Spaceballs:
Dark Helmet: Fire a warning shot across her nose.
[Warning shot almost hits Vespa's Benz]
Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Gunner: [lifts helmet, revealing that he's cross-eyed] Sorry, sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did, sir. He's my cousin. [Major Asshole is also cross-eyed]
Dark Helmet: [to Sandurz] Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole too, sir. Gunner's mate, First Class, Philip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow? [The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes. [Closes helmet] Keep firing, Assholes!

Spaceballs:
Dark Helmet: No-no-no, light speed is too slow!
Colonel Sandurz: Light speed too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to... Ludicrous speed!
[The entire crew gasps in horror]
Colonel Sandurz: Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before! I don't know if the ship can take it!
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Colonel Sandurz: [stuttering, sounding much like a chicken] Prepare ship-- [more clearly and loudly] Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo--
Dark Helmet: Give me that, you petty excuse for an officer! [Takes the microphone] Now hear this! Ludicrous speed--
Colonel Sandurz: Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?
Dark Helmet: Ah, buckle this! Ludicrous speed, GO!
[Dark Helmet is screaming as he sees various warp trails on the monitor. Meanwhile, there are signs lighting up indicating "LIGHT SPEED", "RIDICULOUS SPEED", and a flashing "LUDICROUS SPEED" sign]
Dark Helmet: What have I done?! My brains are going into my feet!
[Spaceballs I passes Lone Starr's Winnebago, leaving a trail of plaid light behind them]
Barf: [he and Lone Starr quickly duck] WHOA!! What the hell was that?
Lone Starr: Spaceball 1.
Barf: They've gone to plaid!
Dark Helmet: We passed 'em! Stop this thing!
Colonel Sandurz: We can't stop, it's too dangerous! We've got to slow down first!
Dark Helmet: Bullshit! Just stop this thing! I order you! STO-O-O-O-P!
[Colonel Sandurz reaches out and uses the emergency brake, which has a "Never use" warning on it. Helmet goes flying forward, while screaming, into a control panel, denting it and his helmet severely.]

Life of Pi:
Adult Pi Patel: Can I ask you something? I've told you two stories about what happened out on the ocean. Neither explains what caused the sinking of the ship, and no one can prove which story is true and which is not. In both stories, the ship sinks, my family dies, and I suffer.
Writer: True.
Adult Pi Patel: So which story do you prefer?
Writer: The one with the tiger. That's the better story.
Adult Pi Patel: Thank you. And so it goes with God.
Writer: Mamaji was right. It's an amazing story. Will you really let me write it?
Adult Pi Patel: Of course. Isn't that why Mamaji sent you here after all? My wife is here. Do you want to stay for dinner? She's an incredible cook.
Writer: I didn't know you had a wife.
Adult Pi Patel: And a cat and two children.
Writer: So your story does have a happy ending.
Adult Pi Patel: Well, that's up to you. The story is yours now.

After extensive testing and research, I have concluded that the most child-inappropriate game is...

Super Mario Brothers

In its various incarnations, this game has the player ingesting substances such as mushrooms(for "increased size"), various weeds(for "firepower" and "becoming a racoon"), and "stardust"(for "invincibility").

It also encourages violence against turtles, various other reptiles, and plants, all of which reward the player with money.

There is also Princess Peach, who obviously has some kind of obsessive need to be "captured" so that Mario can "rescue" her. This is clearly a terrible idea to put in the minds of young girls.

Then, there is Yoshi. This innocent creature is forced into servitude, which consists of him carrying Mario around, being smacked on the head to force out his tongue, and often being abandoned and sacrificed by the player so that they may complete their mission.

In conclusion, Super Mario Brothers is the worst game for a child to play, and I hope that the parents out there can help stop this from becoming a problem for later generations.

A Video Game Poem:

So often I have heard around, and always it’s the same.
The fact that parents always seem to try and blame the games.
Never has it seemed to me, not even one percent,
That it is the games we play that make us violent.
I recall the Mortal Kombat, where we ripped out their spine.
On to Grand Theft Auto, to kill and take what’s mine.
I played to Resident Evil, and shot those already dead,
And I lost at Call of Duty, shot by my brother through the head.
On God of War I laughed with joy, as I ripped my foes apart,
And as Assassin Ezio, I stabbed many through the heart.
Not in all the time, I have played these games, did it change my ways.
A release, I say it is, to lift those fallen days.
What a rush it is to kill, slay those with my hand.
All I ask, in the end, is that you understand.
I realize that it’s all fake. Some pictures and some noise.
Now understand what I say, and listen with some poise.
It is your duty, parents, to show kids the right way.
So I say, shut up, be quiet, so we all can play.

Need legal held? Contact the offices of Dewie, Cheetum, & Howe: 1-800-782-5377

The Ten Rules of Good Grammar:
Don't use no double negatives
Make each pronoun agree with their antecedent
When dangling, watch your participle
Don't use commas, which aren't necessary
Verbs has to agree with their subjects
About those sentence fragments
Try to not ever split infinitives
It is important to use apostrophe's correctly
Always read what you have written to see you any words out
Correct spelling is esential

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile be warned it is sad:

My name is Sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made my daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up all the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark; my folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight
Don't make a sound! I just heard a car
My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse; my name he calls
I press myself against the wall.
I try and hide from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now; I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault that he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more,
I finally get free and I run for the door.
He's already locked it and I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream... but its now much too late
His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain again and again
Oh, please God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end!
And he finally stops and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless; sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah and I am but three,
Tonight my daddy, murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

The opposite of Pro is Con,
that fact is clearly seen.
If Progress means move forward,
then what does Congress mean?
Nipsey Russell: Match Game 1979

The 7 Disney Sins:

Pride: Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)
Wrath: Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)
Sloth: Scar (Lion King)
Gluttony: Cruela De Vil (101 Dalmatians)
Envy: The Evil Queen (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
Greed: Jafar (Aladdin)
Lust: Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)