All human. Bella is a senior at Forks High when Miss Alice Brandon, fresh out of college comes to teach Math. What happens when Bella starts to have feelings for her teacher, despite having a boyfriend?

"You can have anything you want, at Melissa's restaurant ... except Melissa." Well, actually, after supper and dishes, a little dessert of airy Melissa confection - cinnamony sweet - may be just what you are looking for. And who am I to say no?

There she is, more than fifty years old, cooing over her granddaughter. "Bella," I call helplessly. She looks at me in puzzlement like I'm a stranger. She got exactly what I had hoped for her … and for me. Now what do I do with this despair?

Chapter 9: Do you know what a stone going into the Sol Duc River at high velocity sounds like? It sounds like gunshot.

When Rosalie suggests Samantha make up with Chris, how, exactly, does that … well, work. Not exactly à propos to "The Bells Are Ringing," so this is a spinoff, even though Rosalie still narrates. Lemons. Femdom.

A fan fiction authoress finds out how it would be to have Rosalie as a lover. Rosalie doesn't drink her blood at the end. Unfortunately. Warning: A 'phfina piece, so there's much angst and lemons. References to implied suicidal thoughts. 'Anti-'Mary Sue

Chapter 7: The things you find going on in laundry rooms these days. And college students study when again? Oh, and don't say to Rosalie 'take me,' unless you're clear she's clear on what you mean. Warning: explicit and dark implications.