SALUTATIONS! Arth thou be'th speaking'th to?

Ya, i don't know what I just said either...

SO...Anyway, let me tell you people about myself.

Age: NONE OF YOUR BEE-SHIT!

Gender/sex: Lol, i said SEX! I'm a girl that makes stupid/random perverted jokes...

Favorite TV shows: You know what, I'll give you a clue about my age. I am between 14-18. So my favorite shows are...

-House (I like laughing at the stupid drama)

-Ben 10 (KEVIN LEVIN FTW, BITCHES! Nah, i like laughing at the corniness...but still, kevin owns)

-Family Guy (Funny shit, that stuff is)

-South Park (Who DOESN'T laugh at south park?! Ahaha, they killed Kenny! Bastards...)

-Sonny With a Chance (I like making fun of Sonny and Chad's sexual tension. I still like the idea of a ChadxSonny thing. THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER! Besides, it's not like I'm OLD, so I have the right to watch kid's shows! Plus, I love Demi Lovato)

-What I like About You (I really liked HollyxBen. But NOOOOO, VINCE the douche bag has to go ruin it!)

-The Secret Life of the American Teenager (They are such bad actors, it's comical!)

HAH! There's NO CHANCE you'll be able to guess my age! But if you PM me and you're right, I'll give you a virtual cookie!

Favorite Books: Hmm...well, my fanfics are about Twilight, so i must HATE that book. WTF?! I LOVE TWILIGHT! I'm a crazy obsessed fan girl with two posters of Edward, an "I hate Jacob (the mutt) Black t-shirt (Although I think Taylor Lautner is as hot as the burning fire in hell), and have read all four books, like, 48 times EACH!

But other than that and fanfiction, I don't read much.

Favorite random shit:

-I LOVE surfing, dirt biking, pandas, skating (or to those noobs out there, skate BOARDING), soccer, MUSIC!! Can't get meh enough music-(Paramore, Boston, Hedley, Shinedown, Led Zepplin, Greenday, 3 Days Grace), my guitar (I love me meh Gibson), PANDAS, 5 dollar foot-longs (even though I can never finish them), SEXX! LOL JK!

And if you would like to know more about me, TOUGH CRAP! Wait till I grow out of my "lazy-piece-of-shit" faze, and I'll update my profile more often.

So ya, summer vacation started, and stuff, so I'm pretty much bored out of my mind every day. Nothing that interesting except for STERLING KNIGHT! Damn, I sound like a twelve year old, but seriously, can you blame me? He's SEXEH!

I really have to say something...

I HATE, DESPISE, LOATHE, EXECRATE, ABHOR, SHUN, SCORN, DETEST, DESPISE, CURSE, AND ANATHEMATIZE TEAM FREAKING JACOB!! What kind of asstards feel that Jacob and Bella would make a good couple?! ARE YOU GUYS ON CRACK?! I'd rather gag myself with a fork before Jacob and Bella get together!

Oh, and if you're a member of Team Jacob, simply click the 'X' (most likely the box containing the 'X' will be red) at the top right corner of your screen, open a new window, and never come back to this link EVER AGAIN! I do not need man whore supporters taintin' up my super awesome profile. Although I can admit, watching a girl while she sleeps-vampire or not-is still terribly creepy, and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was, like, a pedophile or something (well, before she turned 18).

So on that joyful note...I hope you enjoy my stories. Oh, and don't complain to me about the many cuss words in them. I rated them 'T' for a reason, meaning 13+. Actually, my stories should probably for 14, because later into the stories, I will be BORDERLINING 'T,' almost 'M,' but not really. There are no lemons though, I repeat, NO LEMONS! I like lemonade better (insert suggestive wink here). Lol, JK. I have this terrible sense of humor. What I think is funny is what most people get jumped for by telling their friends.

So...ya. That's kinda it...

JUSTT KIDDING!

Well, I was kinda finished two weeks ago, but it is 1:30 in the morning and I am BORED!

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Why the fuck is this crazy chick updating her pointless profile at 1 A.M.?! Go to sleep, jack ass, and save the electricity!"

Well, that's what I would've been thinking if some other jacked up, mother fucker was doing this.

HOLY CRAP, THIS FONT IS HUGE! How the hell did thishappen? I think I pressed some random do-hickey or something. Anyway, back to the sleeping problem...in this huge font that's all bold, and shit. Damn, I'm getting sidetracked. Annyyywaaaay...what's so weird, though, is that I am actually pretty damn tired, but I can't sleep. It sucks...so maybe I should just talk mindlessly about random shit. Okay...where to start...don't you just hate it when you are so dead-set on doing something, but can't complete it when you can't think strait? That's pretty much what's happening right now. I have NO idea what to ramble on about! Most of the time, I can just go on, and on, and on about something totally stupid and pointless, but right now, I just can't. I remember this one time, I was annoying the hell out of my brother (on purpose and while he was driving...not the smartest idea, but at least he didn't crash by just talking about some tree. It kinda went like this...Cue seventies hippie background that get's all blury and wavy. You know, the kind they have on tv when someone is having a flashback...

"Oh em gee, Ryan! Look at that tree! Isn't it just a fine tree? I bet it's got all the tree-chick's just waitin to grow apples with him, if you know what I'm saying." Insert suggestive eyebrow raise here and eyeroll from Ryan. "I'm not sure if it's a boy tree or a girl tree, but it just kinda struck me as 'MALE!,' so I guess if I'm goin with my gut, it' s a dude. Unless it's actually female and I just made it a lesbian...You know, I remember this one time when I was at camp and we sang this tree song. I don't really remember it, but I think it went like...

"There was a branch, the pretties branch, that you ever did see, annnndddd thee...
Branch was on the tree,
and the tree was in the hole
and the hole was in the ground
and green grass grows all around and around and the green grass grows all around...HEY!"

"Yeah..that's some song-"

"Oh, don't worry, Ryan. If you thought that was good, you'll love the other verses...AAANNDDD on the branch-"

"OH, SHUT. UP!"

"Psh, well then..."

And that's pretty much how the little ramble went. Gah, I still can't think of something to talk about. I feel so helpless and lost, kinda like Emmett at his first attempt at sex with Rosalie. We ALL knew it was a trainwreck just waitin to happen. I used to think Emmett was spelt with only one 't,' but then I got this comment in a review. There was no "Great story! I loved it!" or "You're story sucks. You're just some lonely old fudge-wad wasting her life." No, instead, it said, "Emmett is spelt with two 't's" and then something about having her new moon book with her for proof, or something. Uh, thanks for the critique...? Also, it's great that you have New Moon with you, but the fact of the matter is this. I. Don't. Care. Gawsh, just kuz I spelled his name wrong isn't the fucking end of the world! Ahhhhhh, the apocolypse! NOT! Check the review on my story 'Chemically Altered.' I thinks it's trying to make something out of nothing.

Okay, well, I think I'm gonna go save the pandas...or sleep...whichever. Maybe both. LATERZ!

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cursing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok

dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

6/28/10:

HELLO DARLINGS!!!!!

Yes, I'm still alive, if...anyone really cares...

uhh, on that note,

I'm sooooooo sorry I haven't updated any of my stories in like...a year or two (give or take), and that's really...inexcusable, but it's just...I dono, I loooooove my story (I DO, I PROMISE!!), and like (sorry, I'm full out California, so yes, I say "like"...a lot.) I love my characters, but it's just...I DON'T EVEN KNOW! I HAVE NO EXCUSE! It's been a year, and I've been reading heeeella other fanfics (so, no, I haven't been off the site this whole time), and you know, it's been a year, and I feel like I'm a better writer now :/

Uhhh what I'm trying to say, is that my whole method of writing in the story really pisses me off.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

So, in order to continue with both of those stories, I have to rewrite them from the beginning (with the same plot, and same characters, just...better writing). Yeaup.

On another note, I just fell in love with the Teen Titans

Mhm, RobStar all the way, baby.

I know it's a like...really old (well not REALLY old...just like, 2006), but I'm one of those douches that watch tv on the computer, and rekindled my love for this kick ass show!! :) I use to love it when they actually showed it on tv...and well, now I love it even more! Like a wise little crack head once told me while he was high, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

So I'm thinking about writing some Teen Titans fics, because, well, it pwns (understatement!!!)

TT ships I support:

RobxStar MY OTP (well...you know, besides Zutara and BellaxEdward...duh)!!! LOVE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!!!!!!!! AND EVER!! They are just so amazing together!! They balance each other out, and keep each other grounded...and and...andd...I JUST LOVE THEM

For the Nights I Can't Remember-Hedley: ULTIMATE ROBSTAR SONG. NO JOKE. It's like...EXACTLY them

BBxRae I actually really like this ship, too. One, their personalities balance each other's out. Two, this way, Raven can be a happy little emo, and there will be no retarded RobxRae or whatever the fuck that shits called. And their SUPA CUTE TOGETHER!!! :)

CyxBee In a lot of fics I read, it's always totally RobStar and BBRae, and Cyborgs all alone :( Robots need love, too!!! So I support this ship...kuz well, yeah, robots need love, too.

KFxJinx LOVE THEM, TOO!! My God, I think I watched Lightspeed like fifty-bajillion times just because I absolutely LOOOOOOOVE this ship!!!! THESE TWO ARE ADORKABLE TOGETHER!!! People need to write more fluffy one shots for them, so little retarded fan girls like me can read and squeal over them!! This ship is definitely my second favorite in the show.

...uhh yeah. That's pretty much all the ships I like. I can TOLERATE CyxRae and BBxTerra to some degree...like...a really, really small degree...REALLY small (hehe, that's what she said)...almost nonexistant (again...hehehehe). I can read it (sorta), but I will never, EVER write it.

Speaking of ships I CAN'T STAND, WON'T READ, and will NEVER, EVER WRITE...

Fuckin retarded ships that need to burn in hell:

RobxRae: BANG! I FUCKIN KILL YOU. This ship...gave me nightmares once. No joke. No words can express just how much I absolutely HATE this ship. I WOULD BLAST CANON BALLS, BREAK HOLES IN THE DECK, FEED ALL THE OCCUPANTS OF THE SHIP TO NESSIE THE SEA MONSTER, AND LIGHT THE WHOLE MOTHER FUDGIN THING ON FIRE IF I COULD...and if, you know, it was an actual SHIP. I REFUSED to watch The End 1, 2, and 3 because I found out a head of time there would be some RobxRae shit in it. So yeah, never seen those episodes, never will. That's how much I hate this. And COME ON, they're both dark, depressed, and slightly emo!! The most romantic thing they'll do is commit suicide together.

I'm a psycho, obsessed RobStar fan girl. Sue me.

BBxTerra: ...Terra is a bitch. Beast Boy deserves better. End of story.

CyxJinx: KID FLASH AND JINX, MOTHER FUCKA

StarxRedX: ...no, just...no.

sooooooo yeah. I'm done. I'm sorry, I have an incurable potty mouth :/ ...whatever.

Onnnn a different not, ahhaa(:

I've also gotten completely addicted to Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Why?

Only one reason:

ZUTARA FAN GIRL, RIGHT HERE.

Hehehehehe, I'm awesome.

I got into Avatar fanfiction because of that completely shitastic ending of the god damn series.

BLOODYMOTHERF(@*#*%&@(#*&%(*@&$^!&@^*&@)!(@)%(!*@)$)@%*#&@(%*(@^%&$^*#@&$^*#@&^&@#(!(#*)$

That was my reaction at the end.

YEup.

screw kataang.

long live zutara!!! :D