“I feel as though the world turned its back on me…” - Me

“Then just grab the frickin’ world and btchslap it hard across the face, stupid!” - My co-author

There will be times in your life when the world seems so cruel: you want to be on the front lines, defending those you love, but you’re stuck on the sidelines; you want to be star player, but you’re stuck playing mascot; you want chocolate ice cream cake but your mother buys vanilla ice cream; and worst of all, you want worthy pieces of fiction to read, but you find a profile with a collection amateur works.

These are types of things you will deal in your life so prepare; as for the last example, you are experiencing it right now. How will you proceed?

About the Authoress:

Maya-Chan, as many refer to her, is a lazy, novice authoress, though she tries her best and out of pity, people applaud her work. Though young, she has a mature mind (coughpervertcough); her work contains some mature themes but nothing graphic.

She enjoys sitting in the rain and thinking, these two actions make her very pleased and contented; large gatherings and indulgence in luxury extract the exact opposite effect for this strange girl. Her interests are just as strange as her dislikes: dark-themed books, stormy evenings, working for pay and most unhealthily, skittles, particularly sour tasting. Her disinterest, as is predictably following her interests, include many aspects in life many girls she knows find exceedingly significant: shopping, boyfriends, complete financial dependence, unnecessarily high expenditures on jewelry, cars, electronics, and luxury in general.

Socializing is her weakest point, but if the right person comes along, she can be very friendly and outgoing. Writing articulately is slowly becoming her strongest points, besides her unquenchable thirst for any type of knowledge.

Mostly a day-dreamer, this authoress immerses herself in her stories, becomes one with her characters and describes what she sees and feels. Some therapists have concluded this is why this novice writer has become better and better in the quality of her fanfiction, though it may also be the reason why she is a loner and slightly insane.

A true lover at heart, the organ of love and affection that beats beneath her bosom desires what anyone would: intimacy, the feeling of importance and self-worth, but most of all, pure love. As hackneyed as that may sound, every creature, whether big or small, whether insensate or innocent, hardhearted or softhearted, human or non-human, every living being is not only in want of love, but in need of it. Of course, this strange writer is no exception to this declaration; she, if anything, is desperate for love. Desperate; not in the sense of carnal satisfaction from any source, but in the finding of someone to call her own, she is willing to do her utmost.

The depth of the last paragraph may have been too much for some, so we shall move on to something of lighter feeling: the writing.

This young, but seemingly talentless, authoress has giddily aspired to write and update three stories and quite foolishly, is considering a fourth. But with careful persuasion, she has been convinced to keep the fourth story on hold while she delves further into her current plots. But for those of you who are curious as to what this authoress is considering, please read the following:

Possible Story:

Title: Iron Fist Alchemist

Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Adventure/Romance

Pairing(s): Edward/OC; Alphonse/Winry; Roy/Riza

Plot: Two years have passed since Edward Elric joined the Military in order to use the privileges and the facilities to aid him in the search for the Philosopher’s Stone. With his younger brother, Alphonse Elric, alongside him, the Brothers went through trials and tribulations, but to no avail, did they retrieve useful information about this alchemic amplifier; until a few weeks ago. Colonel Roy Mustang, figuring out a new way to push Edward’s button and get some work done at the same time, introduced to them a new companion to aid them in their journeys:

As for the story already in progress, this guiltily lazy authoress would like to apologize for the lack of updates to the rare individuals who read her stories. Life has not been particularly favorable as of yet and access to a computer or laptop has been simply occasional. But a solution has been thought of! She has made contact with another individual who is willing to give her a used laptop for free! Until then, updates will occur as often as this authoress can afford to invest her time in the rare amounts of computer time available.

About the Co-Authoress:

Not much is known about this particularly strange creature other than the fact that she aids Maya in her literary documents, enjoys long conversations with her imaginary pet bird, Princess Suzanna Blingold, and absolutely adores beating those strange, robber looking men who steal candy from babies. As her real name is unknown, she refers to herself with a vast variety of alias’, her favorites being: Shizca, Queen Merry of Mount Sherry (Who Is Secretly A Fairy), Snoop Bunny, Sandy Claus, and (as she is most commonly referred to) Mimi-Chan.

Her past, unknown, her future, quite uncertain, and her present, very screwed up.

In a nutshell, she is Maya-Chan’s co-authoress, partner in crime law enforcement, study buddy, tutee, and best friend, all wrapped messily into one confusing and somewhat dangerous female.

Miscellaneous Entries

As the title may or may not suggest, sundry entries of the latest information surfacing shall be posted here, according to date. Though it has been hazy whether this section should be added or not, after careful consideration and thought, it has been decided that readers of these progressing fanfiction should know as much as possible about the hearts and minds of the authoress and co-authoress. And so, this section came to be.

11/03/2010

Recently, documents have been uncovered that will give this authoress’ readers an understanding about her. After great analysis and interpretation, lists of certain likes and dislikes have been compiled and are now posted here, for you.

They have been altered for easier understanding. Italics are used to represent what is hypothesized to be the co-authoress’ preferences.

Favorite Books:

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Harry Potter (Specifically book 6) by J.K. Rowling

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Hamlet & MacBeth by William Shakespeare

The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien

Hated Books:

Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Favorite Shows/Anime/Manga:

Battlestar Galactica

Star Trek: Enterprise

24

Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

Law & Order: SVU

Will & Grace

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Seinfeld

Frasier

Yakitate!! Japan

Gintama

Dragon Ball Z

Death Note

Absolute Boyfriend

Hated Shows/Anime/Manga:

Hannah Montana

Grey’s Anatomy

Desperate Housewives

Gossip Girl

Favorite Characters:

Battlestar Galactica – Kara “Starbuck” Thrace; Karl “Helo” Agathon; “Athena” Agathon; Laura Roslin; William “Husker” Adama

Caprica – Zoe Graystone; Amanda Graystone; Serge

Harry Potter –Harry Potter; Hermione Granger; Luna Lovegood; Draco Malfoy

Jane Eyre – Jane Eyre

Wuthering Heights Heathcliff

Naruto – Uzumaki Naruto; Haruno Sakura; Hyuuga Neji; Hyuuga Hinata; Uchiha Itachi

Yakitate!! Japan – Azuma Kazuma; Ryou Kuroyanagi

One Piece – Luffy; Zolo

Death Note – L

Hated Character:

Twilight – Bella Swan; Edward Cullen; the Cullen Family; Jacob Black

Hannah Montana – Robby Ray; Miley Stewart

Grey’s Anatomy – Entire cast

Desperate Housewives – Entire cast

Gossip Girl – Entire cast

Favorite Pairings:

Harry Potter – Harry/Dracia (or OC); Harry/Luna; Snape/Lily; Draco/Elizabeth (or OC); Draco/Astoria; Dumbledore/McGonagall; Anyone/OC

Naruto – Naruto/Sakura; Neji/Hinata; Neji/OC; Lee/Sakura; Lee/Tenten; Minato/Kushina; Almost Anyone/OC

Battlestar Galactica – Kara/Lee; Kara/Sam; William/Laura; Anyone/OC

Caprica – Zoe/Phil; Daniel/Amanda

Hated Pairings:

Naruto – Naruto/Hinata; Sasuke/Sakura; Neji/Tenten; Sasuke/Anyone; Sasuke/OC

Harry Potter – Harry/Ginny; Harry/Cho; Draco/Luna; Draco/Pansy; James/Lily

Twilight – Edward/Bella