The name's JT and truth is that i'm not really the writer type and my main reason for signing up here is to read all the awesome stories which I HAVE been reading for a long time now but if I eventually to write something, pls don't be too cross on reviews...arigato

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, Pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, Crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, NaruHinaxNejiTen, Naruhina-Fanboy-Devlin, GravityTheWizard, Thymistacles, Boy of Anime,TUAOA:MORRISTOFOX, The Shinobi Guardian

Fourty- Nine laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relative

47. Law of Regenerative Outlook

All clothing can repair itself in a matter of moments (few exeptions)

48. Law of Klutz proof Weaponry

Any weapon dropped in mud/strapped to back while swiming / has not been used in 50 years will still work at a moments notice (incudes guns,laser devices,bombs,light sabers,Gundams,and all swingable style weapons

49 Law of fluffy actions

There will be fluff at inoppertune times (i.e.in a fight,while hiding,during meeting ect.)

Normal 0 false false false EN-GB JA X-NONE

RULES

If you have ever bitch-slapped a snob PROUDLY put this on your profile

If you have insanely annoying siblings copy and paste this on your profile

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile ( Sometimes i do some times i don't...)

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real so you coud be one of them, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever had an arguent with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile.

If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for leaving Sakura copy an paste this on your profile!

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile

If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile

If you, with no warning, laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this on your profile

If you have ever thrown something at a TV screen when you saw a character you despised, copy and paste this on your profile

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this

Favorite anime sayings:

BELIEVE IT! (Naruto Uzumaki)

You don't have enough hate. (Itachi Uchiha)

Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - (Kakashi Hatake)

Too troublesome. (Shikamaru Nara)

You're annoying- (Sasuke Uchiha)

Shannaro - (Sakura Haruno)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc,NeonZangetsu, The Shinobi Guardian

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu, The Shinobi Guardian

If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

FuNnIe QuOtEs

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

I'm not a complete idiot... Some parts are missing.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while!

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there- (A good one!!)

Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - Kakashi (Naruto)

Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon-

Don't look at me with that tone of voice!-

Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver-

Too troublesome - Shikamaru (Naruto)

It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet-

A good friend would come and bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting there beside you saying, "Man that was fun! Let's do it again!"

Question: if some one with multiple personalities threatens to commit to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation??

Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...

He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own

He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness

"Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable" -Unknown

-"Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie" -Unknown

Genius by Birth
Lazy by Choice

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

You've gotta die in creative ways.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a
truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again.

If it's not nailed down, it's fair game.

To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy

When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work...RUN LIKE HELL!

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break.

Push something hard enough and it will fall.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. (I Live by
this one XD)

There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes!

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you
wouldn't have been notified.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia,
but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum

Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first
given opportunity (It's true I tell you!)

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view

Quotes of Greatness

"That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!" Calculon - Futurama

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." Winston Churchill

"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." Unknown

“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: ‘Cover for me.’ Number 2: ‘Oh, good idea, Boss!’ Number 3: ‘It was like that when I got here.’” Homer Simpson - The Simpsons

“Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?" Sideshow Bob - The Simpsons

"Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." Carl Zwanzig

"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his." General George S. Patton

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers” Randal Graves - Clerks

"Guns don't kill people... but they sure help."

“There’s only two men I trust. One of ‘em’s me, the other one’s not you” Cameron Poe - Con Air

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Scott Adams

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." George W. Bush

"Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?" Jay - Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

"That's what the Internet is for! Slandering others anonymously."

"Fighting fair is for people that don't know how to avoid losing correctly."

"I don't drink from the fountain of wisdom, I gargle."

"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"

"I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm." - George Carlin

"A fighter with lesser skill can knock out a man in one punch, but a regular person can make a skilled fighter cry like a girl with a single bullet."

"No technology is worth my dignity. If talking on a wireless headset means I gotta look like Buck Rogers, then I'm not interested. Besides, there's a reason why people hold a phone to their head! It lets people around you know your talking on the phone. So those people know not to waste time talking to you until you finish, which you then indicate, by putting that mothafucka away!" Gin Rummy - The Boondocks (And my thoughts on that stupid fucking bluetooth kick that 85% of this country was on a few years ago)

"If at first you don't succeed, deny that you were really trying in the first place."

"If you get glitter on you prepare to have it on you forever, because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." Dimitri Martin

"Keep your expectations low. If you expect a kick in the balls, but get a slap in the face, then it's a victory."

"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees."

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

"You never want to be in a fair fight if an unfair fight is an option." Forrest Griffin - Be Ready When The Sh*t Goes Down (A Survival Guide To The Apocalypse)

"Cheating: The Plan B of winners for over 2000 years."

"Right leg: hospital, left leg: cemetery." Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (For those that do not understand you need to go to Youtube)

"The thing you should be thinking about isn't whether or not I can actually kill you with the nail clippers, it should be the fact that whether I can or not is irrelevant. No matter if I can or not, you know full well that I'm going to try, and that more than anything else should scare the hell out of you for more than one reason and answer your question right there."

"And that's the moral of the story. Some niggas need to go jail! I may be in hell, but at least I ain't in jail, nigga! (laughs maniacally)" Colonel H. Stinkmeaner - The Boondocks

"We are not retreating -- We are advancing in another direction." General Douglas MacArthur

"Bullets... my only weakness. How did you know?" Officer Palumbo - Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."

"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize."

"Nope, no matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it, Nancy. Quit yer bitching."

"I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing, it's the same color as last place... It's purple."

"Women are like Voltron, the more you hook up the better it gets."

"There's no 'I' in team." "Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!"

Caboose: "Hey Church, ever wonder why we're here?"

Church: "You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that has happened, you know what I learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant, or an idiot, or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise them on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they are a complete and total fucking douchebag."

Caboose: "...I meant why are we up here in the sun when we could be standing down there in the shade."

Church: "Oh. Yeah, okay. Let's go stand in the shade." - Red vs. Blue

"Yep, hand to hand combat is the old school way to kill your enemies. Killing a man with your bare hands says 'We're all equals as men except I'm slightly more equal because I'm still alive and your dead.' Of course dropping a nuke on them from 50 thousand feet is totally acceptable. I mean let's face it, there just not enough time in this world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling."

"Shotgun to the face is a great contingency plan! Wanna see how it cures insubordination?" Sarge - Red vs. Blue

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Fruit don't talk... Fruit just listens... and waits." Earlie Cuyler - Squidbillies

"Okay I'm going to be completely serious with you... There's every chance in the world I was drunk when I said that."

"Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid."

"You should never avert your eyes from death, never look away from the lives you have taken. And you should never forget the people that you have killed, because I can assure you they will never forget you." Solf J. Kimblee - Fullmetal Alchemist

"Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex in which case... yeah, bed is still for sissies." Gregory House - House

"I've run over black cats that were luckier than me."

"Thank God I wore underwear today." Derek Zoolander - Zoolander

"Sometimes I need what only you can provide... your absence."

"I'm so miserable without you it's like you're right there with me."

"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there." Charlie Sheen

"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." Charlie Sheen

"A.A. was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis-DNA." Charlie Sheen

"Dying is for fools... amateurs." Charlie Sheen

"C.B.S. picked a fight with a warlock." Charlie Sheen

"If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, 'Dude! I can't handle it, unplug this bastard!' It fires in a way that's maybe not from this, uh... this terrestrial realm." Charlie Sheen

"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars." Charlie Sheen... and now me.

"If it doesn't hurt you're not doing it right... just like sex."

"Experience isn't something you get until right after you need it."

"I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money."

"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

"I'm a peaceful man with bad intentions."

"There's a new sheriff in town... and he has an army of assassins."

"I just had a brainstorm." "I wasn't aware storms could exist in a vacuum."

"I wake up in the morning and piss excellence."

Fit Tony: "That's why I keep my friends close-."

Homer Simpson: "-And your enemies closer?"

Fit Tony: "No. Why would I do that? If they were close they would kill me."

"Just because you sold seven million albums doesn’t mean you’re talented. It just means that there are seven million people that are stupid as hell." Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks

"Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard."

"If it doesn't kill you, use it and kill somebody else..."

"I want a shirt that just says "f* you" on it, and I want to wear it while walking through airports all day. There's no such thing as a bad word, just bad intentions."

"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes." Jimi Hendrix

"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything; it is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone - The Godfather: Part II

"You cannot achieve success, without the risk of failure. And I learned a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If you're not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But you're never gonna get there unless you risk it all the way. I was a failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying 'Okay. Watch out. Here I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.' So now, I'm just a little more dangerous." Paul Heyman

"Show me a man with a combover and I'll show you a man that believes that by crushing a bag of chips... you make more chips." Sheng Wang

"My plans always work! ...Sometimes!"

"Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said... 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.'" Ricky Bobby - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

"If animals have taught me anything it's that you can die very quickly and very suddenly under a bus or on the side of the road." Charlie - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal." Peter La Fleur - Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"Saying you're a history major out loud is basically just the same thing as telling your friends, 'Yes, I do remember every dumbass thing you've ever done in front of me, and I can bring it up accurately whenever I want, so don't start.' I love it, but there's not a whole lot of good job options available for it. What the hell am I going to do, teach? I'm way too hateful to teach kids." Kenchi618

"Live every week like it's Shark Week." Tracy Jordan - 30 Rock

"I am finished doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, 'something that kills people.' And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I am sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut." Hattori Hanzo - Kill Bill Vol.1

("Money doesn't buy happiness.") Rebuttal: "...Have you ever tried not having money before?"

"You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war, especially with yourself." Yuri Orlov - Lord or War

"Ambition is the willingness to kill the thing you love and eat them to stay alive." Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock

"There are only three kinds of people in this world; those who can count and those who can't."

"You can't touch music, but music can touch you." Mordecai - Regular Show

"If you never choose a side and always stay in the middle you'll never have to directly face down quite as much as if you did, but you'll also always have at least one thing at your open back ready to take a free shot at you no matter which way you turn."

"Schools is this nation's backbone." Cam Brady - The Campaign

"Cain Velasquez might be able to take me down. He might be able to take me down 10 times. But for each of those times he takes me down, I'm going to stand back up. If I land 10 punches on Cain Velasquez, he's not going to stand back up." Junior dos Santos

"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying." Bruce Lee

"Ahh Twitter... giving cowards a forum to say things to people they would never say in real life, since 2006." Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks

"Cats are kind of like girls. If they come and talk to you it's great. But if you try to talk to them it doesn't always go so well." Shigeru Miyamoto

“Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable - your weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungers - and pretend they’re across the room. It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have nothing real to work with. Adults are afraid of themselves.” Richard Silken - Black Telephone

"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off."

"Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's also great motivation. There's nothing quite as inspiring as not knowing that you can't do something." Kenchi618

You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
Copy and paste this on your profile!

ARE YOU?

1. Perfect? No, I’m not and I like it that way…being perfect is overrated and boring, I should know
2. Tall? For my age yes but then again…
3. In your pajamas? Naww…pajamas are for little girls and boys, even when I was little I didn’t wear pajamas, I’ve got a sleeveless jacket and cargo shorts on right now
4. Left handed? I’m ambidextrous so it doesn’t matter…BOOYAH!

LAST:

1. Friend you saw: Lami (she’s hot but unfortunately I’ve been friendzoned…pity me*sniff*)
3. Person to text you: Damez (THE 10)
4. Was today better than yesterday? Totally, tricked my Dad into getting a day off (he’s my boss by the way and he doesn’t read fanfics so he’s never gonna find out)

FAVORITES:

1. Number: As long as its monetary, its my favorite
2. Color(s): Blood red and Black (I’m Badass like that…Belie’e dat)
3. Fruit: As long as it’s an Aphrodisiac
4. Place: Anywhere I’ve hooked up with a girl before or kicked someone’s ass (ahh, good places)

EIGHT EMOTIONS:

1. Are you missing someone right now? Yeah and even though the awesomeness in me advices against this I can’t help but miss em and don’t ask who em is cos you ain’t never gonna know 2. Are you happy? Do I look happy?! ...don’t answer that
3. Are you sad? Sad is the little brother to Emo so I refuse to be sad
4. Are you bored? I’m doing this ain’t I?
6. Are you nervous? I’ve not been nervous since…well never so No, I’m not
8. Are you tired? Of these stupid questions? Then Yes, I am

ABOUT YOU:

Real name? Temi (don’t look at me like that, it’s better than yours)
2. Nick names? John Thomas or JT for short (it’s a long story)
3. Eye color? Brown but I’ve always got Red contacts on so everyone’s used to that by now
4. Zodiac sign? Capricorn…unpredictable
5. Male or female? Read everything I’ve written so far and answer that question your flipping self…you know what, forget that, I’m a guy (I’ve been told to stop being a smartass and answer questions straightforward)
6. Slut? Only on the weekends
7. Smart? Yes, Yes I am, bothering nerd actually but I prefer being called ‘Intellectual Badass’
8. Hair color? Black but I usually have a little red streaked in there somewhere
9. Long or short? Short. I’ve tried growing it out…didn’t work out after a while (P.S. I hate afros)
10. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans, sweats make my balls sweat. (You're welcome for that visual) –Kenchi618’s answer and now mine
11. Phone or Camera? Phone because it can do both. Fuck a camera though, I don't need people to know where I've been... I got enemies. –Kenchi618’s answer and now mine (couldn’t have said it better)
12. Drink or Smoke? I’m already always relaxed 18 out of 24hrs of the day so why would I smoke but I do take a few shots now and then, social drinking and all that…ah who am I kidding, Hey! Where’s my beer?!
13. Righty or lefty? I already answered that crap like 2 minutes ago? SCROLL BACK UP

FIRSTS:

1. First best friend? Franklin, been a long time since I’ve seen him too…since when I was like 5-6, I have a good memory you know
2. First crush? Tsekar (exotic isn’t it), she was hot back then and I hope she still is
3. First pet? A German-Sheppard my older cousin had but we took care of named Snipe… loved that dog, got me in trouble a couple of times but I still loved it
4. First big vacation? Went back to the roots where my Grandpa grew up at ‘Abeokuta, Ogun State’ (P.S. I hated it)

CURRENTLY:

1. Eating? Currently No, I’m licking a lollipop…addicted to ‘em by the way
2. Drinking? Soda water (it’s too early to sip anything interesting)
3. I'm about to: Do something awesome but I don’t know what it is yet, it’ll come to me soon…it always does
4. Listening to? Banky W ft L Tido, Camp Mulla, Vector and Sarkodie – African & Proud (it’s like an anthem for me)

5. Plans for today? Apart from the awesomeness I’m about to get into…its none of your business

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

1. Shorter or taller? It depends, as long as she isn’t ‘midget’ short or ‘yao ming’ tall then…it still depends
2. Romantic or spontaneous? A little of both just to make things interesting, I have the awesome ability to adapt when necessary
3. Sensitive or loud? Let it be known that I don’t like loud girls expect at parties or during sex so yeah I pick sensitive. 4. Hook-up or relationship? I am not a relationship person…yet, so it’s a little bit of this and that at the moment. P.S. I love having Friends with Benefits

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Drank bubbles? I probably have but I can’t remember what it tastes like…I’m starting to feel a little thirsty now, time to pop the bubbles huh
2. Lost glasses/contacts? Yes, Yes I have and I kicked my brother’s ass when I found out he took it…now I know what Velma feels like when she loses hers
3. Ran away from home? No, but I have thought about it just for the thrill and I love the butt kicking I give my younger brother to much to ever run away from home
4. Broken someone's heart? Nope…I respect girls too much to do that to them and that’s why I’m not even in a relationship to begin with
5. Been arrested? Nope, but I should have been by now –Kenchi618’s answer and now mine

DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

1. Miracles? I believe life itself is a Miracle so yeah I do
2. Yourself? Of course I do, somebody’s gotta do it
3. Heaven? Yes, but I also believe in second chances so re-incarnation is still an option in my book
4. Santa Claus? Unless my Dad works for him, no…
4. Love? No, I do believe in attachment, but saying that shit doesn't really send women flocking so I tend to shut the hell up when the topic comes up. Love is basically getting so attached to someone and learning to like the majority of the things about them so much that you enjoy doing everything with this person. –Kenchi618’s answer and now mine (Makes a lot of sense therefore I agree)
5. Do you like someone? Yes I do, but its sorta complicated cos I don’t think she’ll see me as anything other than a very close friend and she’s the only person I’ve ever felt this strongly about but hey even though at some point it might get awkward we’ll still have each other’s backs…Damez is too much of a sweetheart to not at least see what we would be like together
6. Do you believe in God? Yes because nothing comes from nowhere but I really don’t like discussing stuff like this cos I live life looking for answers to things that puzzle us all so if I have to wait till I die to find out then all I’m going to do is be on my best behavior till it happens and at least I can say that in my existence, this life or the next I finally got my answers
7. Answered the truth on all questions? Yeh I did and its kinda of surprising too bcos I’ve never been this honest for that long, I didn’t even dodge that many questions with questions of my own or smartass remarks I usually make so it’s kind of an improvement…bravo to me