Johnnys-eeyorehide bio
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. My name is Joanne, but Jo will do. That is about as much as you are liable to learn about my name. I go by Johnnys eeyore or Johnny e. I hide behind a lot of masks, thick enough to allow people to know me but never to let them inside. I am an enigma, egotistical arent I? I am also narcissistic and conceited, but only on a good day, hehSarcasm is both my shield and blade. I will beat you back with it and tear you apart. It is fun. I am manipulative and devious, but when I care about someone I will do anything for them without hesitation Either hate me or love me. There is no inbetween www.livejournal.com/users/narcotized_fear I make myself out to sound so dark and sinister. Such a deviant...well, now that I am guilty of. But all in all, I am a pretty light hearted person. I keep my problems inside and a smirk on my face. I should warn you though, I have zero tolerance when it comes to idiocy and downright stupid people. Don't test me Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy are THE sex *nods* |
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
A Father's Sin by Severitus reviews
Secrets, prophecies, animagi, and the Serpent‘s Children--a dark secret is revealed that will change Harry and Snape’s lives forever. But will it be for good, or for evil?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 47 - Words: 173,409 - Reviews: 4061 - Favs: 2,819 - Follows: 1,477 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 1/18/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
Go With the Tide by Tantz reviews
HPFA Winner of Best JKR Character portrayal, for Severus Snape! Snape retrieves an injured Harry from the Dursleys-- only this time, the damage is more permanent, and Snape is not prepared to be cuddly. Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 71,461 - Reviews: 1766 - Favs: 2,872 - Follows: 616 - Updated: 12/30/2006 - Published: 2/13/2003 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
The Mad and Zany Misadventures of Lucius and Snape by Ivory Tower reviews
On their own these two are evil and menacing, but when they get together they encounter the oddest situations. Chapter 6: Explore the realm of utter grooviness that is Lucius Malfoy's garden. Yes! The one place where he and Snape find true happiness!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,187 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/10/2004 - Published: 1/3/2003
Drunken Debauchery Down in the Dungeon by Ivory Tower reviews
The incident was crazy enough with Snape and Lucius forcing the class to do unwholesome things. Then Sirius walked in and things got completely out of hand!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,921 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/28/2004
Wedding Nausea by Ivory Tower reviews
It's Lily's wedding day and everyone has something to gripe about. A harsh jab at all those wedding fics that make you want to gag.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,314 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Published: 3/7/2004
The Chronicles of Lucius by Fyrie reviews
Throughout the CoS period, Lucius Malfoy keeps a dia... er... Chronicle of events. Last updated: 26th Sept. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,161 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/26/2003 - Published: 12/12/2002 - Lucius M. - Complete
Dumbledore's List by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
Dumbledore gives everyone a list of questions, which they have to answer HONESTLY! Warning, there's swearing in this story and of course the usual insanity! New: Voldemort's answers! (about bloody time, too..)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,454 - Reviews: 385 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 8/14/2003 - Published: 4/9/2003 - Severus S.
TWO MINUTE FAN FICs by morgy reviews
TWO MINUTE FAN FICs come in all flavours, made especially for the sick minded, crazy and demented. NEW FLAVOURS !!!!!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 6,296 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/17/2003 - Published: 11/20/2002 - Harry P., Draco M.
What was THAT all about! by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
Draco and Harry both have the same kind of *slashy* dream... WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/22/2003
And the Fan Girls Wept by Ivory Tower reviews
Snape and Legolas have multitudes of fans and Lucius feels left out! Can Snape save the day? Those with a warped sense of humor are welcome!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/20/2003
And Mr Crouch said by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
I have NO idea what I was thinking while writing this... probably nothing! *shrugs*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 393 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/8/2003 - Percy W.
The New sexy Shampoo by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
Draco tries a new shampoo, and makes him realise something we already knew for a long, long time!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,848 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/5/2003 - Published: 1/12/2003 - Draco M.
The Spanky Dance by Ivory Tower reviews
This dance is forbidden throughout all of Middle Earth! Find out what makes it so! There's a reason this dance was banned. Leave it to a hobbit to buck the system!!!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/28/2003
Coffee Is No Substitute For Waking Up Naked by Doctor Strangelove reviews
After a hard night of partying Sirius wakes up naked. And he's not alone. Slash [SiriusRemus]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/3/2003 - Published: 10/21/2002 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
The Wonderful, Big, Fantastic Spoon Song by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
Snape made a wonderful song, all about spoons! His obsession with spoons is getting waaaay to far! Some swearing...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 520 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/28/2002 - Severus S.
Spoony Snape by AppleJuiceMaster reviews
Snape lost his spoon and Hell breaks loose!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 361 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2002 - Severus S.
It Started Out Innocently Enough by Ivory Tower reviews
Ever wondered what Snape and Lucius were doing during the Quidditch scene in the movie? The shockning truth is revealed with all the twisted details! Lucius is a sadomasachistic freak! Snape tries to ignore him. You'll never look at the Quidditch scen
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 482 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 10 - Published: 12/19/2002
Snape and Certain Sandwiches Don't Mix by Ivory Tower reviews
Dare you witness the horrors that befall Snape as he prowls the corridors and eats his beloved sandwich? This is very strange, so be warned.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/9/2002
Kissing Fool by Doctor Strangelove reviews
Sirius and Remus overhear two girls talking about what a great kisser Sirius is. This leads to some experimentation and some startling revelations. Slash [SiriusRemus]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,286 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/19/2002 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Because of my Ck by DracosMuggleLover reviews
Hilarious situations ensue after Harry realizes the power of his hormones. A parody on Afroman's
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/11/2002 - Harry P.
Welcome To My Nightmare by Sushi1 reviews
It's New Year's Eve. The costumes are chosen, the karaoke machine is working, and Sev and Harry have more than their share of nightmares...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,967 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/9/2001 - Severus S., Harry P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Harry Potter Limericks reviews
Random limericks i came up with for the Harry Potter characters! Some are rather dirty tho! R&R*UPDATED: FOURTH INSTALLMENT OF LIMERICKS!!* *
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,490 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/11/2003 - Published: 2/18/2003
Journal of Aragorn aka StriderWeird stubble guy reviews
Kind of Aragorns diary thingy but messed up due to my weird sense of humor...please R&R! *UPDATED- CHAPTER 2*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,025 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 3/11/2003 - Published: 2/21/2003 - Aragorn
Harry Potter Random Poems reviews
My weird and sometimes dirty poems, no, not more of my limericks, something different! Please Read & Review *CHAPTER 2*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 2 - Words: 703 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/8/2003
Blurry reviews
My first attempt at a songfic. please read! its based on Sirius's feelings for Remus while he's in Azkaban. RL/SB. Based on 'blurry' by puddle of mudd
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 771 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/7/2003 - Sirius B., Remus L.
The Hidden Secret reviews
Er...thought i'd give writing a dram fic a go...tell me what you think please. Harry is about to learn a secret that will change his life forever!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,072 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/6/2003
Harry Potter And The Disappearing Cave reviews
Just a piece of weirdness i wrote involving Harry...but be warned, i dont like him! Please Read *UPDATED- HP & THE BOTTOMLESS PIT*
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/6/2003 - Published: 2/24/2003 - Harry P.
Puppy Dog Eyes Never Fail reviews
*SLASH* My first ever romantic fic, please review. i need feedback. SB/RL
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,634 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/26/2003 - Remus L., Sirius B.
Severus Snape The Porno King reviews
A Parody of 'Jack the Pumpkin King' from the Nightmare Before Christmas involving Snape and his secret career! R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/19/2003 - Severus S.