Please know that I am a very new writer and not very good at it because I haven't had much practice. I am in the process of practicing on a regular basis and learning all I can about the story. This story is just being put down as it comes to me and then will be reworked later down the road.

Story Description

Janice has been dealing with her unfaithful husband for 9 years now. They have never had children although Janice has always wanted children. Parker was never really open to it. they had discussed it before they were married but Parker said he didn't want children. Janice thought after time he would change his mind. Who wouldn't want children with the person they love. So she married him anyway. Now 9 years later, she is glad they never decided to have children.

Janice needs time away from her husband so she decides to take a trip by herself. She heads out to a country house in Colorado to clear her head and have some time with her thoughts. She needed to figure out what to do with her marriage and her life. She feels lost and has no idea who she is anymore. Parker is a good person to her when he's not drinking. But that isn't very often

Chapter I

Janice sat in the hospital room, waiting for Parker to awaken. He’d been unconscious for days but the doctor said he should make it through. What would she do if he died? She didn’t let the thought go any further as she pushed it out of her mind. That was no way to think right now. She couldn’t believe the last thing she said to him before he left was that she was leaving him. Janice thought she knew what she was doing and that it was the right thing to do. Why does she always think the grass is greener on the other side? Parker stirred in his bed as Janice’s eyes shot to him to see if he was waking. After a few seconds, Parker settled back down but didn’t open his eyes.

She moved to his bedside and brushed his hair back from his forehead. She blamed herself for his accident. He was distracted and not paying attention fully. The nurse came in to check his vitals so Janice stepped away as the nurse greeted her with a smile but went on about her job without saying anything. Janice sat back down in the chair that had become her friend for the last three days. She could hardly think about anything else. There were a few times she took breaks to call the kids at her house or to eat a bite or two. She found it hard to pull her self away though. Janice often wondered while she sat there if it was because she loved Parker or because she was ashamed for what she did to him. "I guess this is what I need to figure out", she told herself.

The nurse looks back at her. "I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you." She said.

"Oh, I was just talking to myself." Janice replies hardly looking at the nurse. She could see it was beginning to get light outside. All the days’ events that should take place went through her mind. Through them all, Parker made his way into her thoughts. Was her leaving him really the right thing to do. Could they just work it out? As she sat there in the chair she thought maybe they could. I mean really it wasn’t like either of them were having affairs. They had just lost interest in each other and their marriage. Why was it so ok for society to give up on a marriage these days? What happened to it being a commitment for life and working it out? They would have to work a lot harder on it but maybe it was something they could really do together. The accident made her realize this. Why did it take something so drastic to make her realize this? She was overcome with guilt and it was really taking a toll on her.

She looked over at Parker and it just hit her like a blinding light showing the truth. They had to work it out. They didn’t get married because they didn’t love each other. They had to work this out because it was worth working out. How would they work it out though? Janice was sure she must have done some major damage in her declaration to Parker to leave last week. What could she do to show him this whole thing has made her rethink what she thought she wanted?

She decided to take a break and go home and get cleaned up a bit. When she got there she was in for a surprise. The place was a mess. She wasn’t sure if it was from lack of cleaning or if it was from Parker messing it up in anger. As she got further in the house, she came to realize that it was really Parker being angry and had thrown things about the house and not care to clean up after himself. She found herself sitting on the couch as she began to break down and just cried for hours.

Parker's eyes began to flutter as he tried to open them. He felt his eyes open he thought but there was nothing but darkness. Suddenly he heard a voice as he tried to get his eyes to see who was doing the talking. He didn't recognize the voice and why was it so dark? Was it night time?

"Mr. Jordon, can you hear me?" the nurse asked. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

Parker took a moment to digest the instructions and when he realized what he was told to do, he gave the nurse a little squeeze that took all his strength to manage.

"Good job Mr. Jordon. Thank you. You're at Mercy General Hospital and you had an accident. You're going to be fine though and we have called your wife to let her know you're awake. She will be here soon." the nurse said.

"My wife?" Parker questioned.

"Oh she's fine sir. She wasn't with you when the accident happened. She's been sitting here with you the whole time though. She was elated that you had woken up and is on her way down here now." the nurse informed him.

"How come it's so dark?" Parker asked the nurse.

"Excuse me?" she replied.

"It's dark. My eyes are open but it's so dark I can't see anything in the room. Is it night?" He asked.

"Just a moment Mr. Jordon. I need to get the doctor so he can speak to you about what's happened. I will be right back." the nurse told him.

When she left it was quiet in the room again. He just couldn't figure out why it was so dark. He'd never heard of a hospital room being completely dark. Maybe they shut off all the lights for him and closed the drapes so he could get some rest. Just then he heard the door open again.

"Hi Parker. You finally decided to join the living again." doctor Samuel said with relief.

"Doc, what happened to me and why is the room so dark." Parker asked.

Doctor Samuel pulled up a chair next to Parker's bed. "Parker, you were in a very serious accident three nights again. A strange passing through found your vehicle on the side of the road with you in it and unconscious."

"What!" Parker replied in surprise. "What do you mean three nights ago? I was just at home working on my book. I don't remember driving anywhere."

"Well we haven't been able to put all the pieces together yet, but you were found on the side of the road in your car and you hit a telephone pole. You had a serious head injury. This is probably part of the reason it is dark to you. You've lost your eyesight Parker."

"What! I can't be blind. Doc, am I going to be able to see again?" Parker asked with panic in his voice.

"We're not sure yet Parker. It depends on how bad the damage is. We've been waiting for the swelling in your brain to go down enough to determine what permenant damage you may have. Now that you're awake, at least we know your mind seems to be ok. Now that you're awake, we'll do some testing to see if we can isolate the problem with your eyesight and see how long term it may be.

Janice woke from a dream which brought her to conscious confused and forgetting where she was. She took a moment to get herself together and managed to make it off the couch.

"What time is it?" she asked herself. When she found the clock droning off each second, she couldn't believe how late it was. What happened to the night? Then she remembered as she took a look around the house once again. She decided ti was much too late to head back to the hospital. She made her way to bed and barely had enough energy to cover herself.

Janice was awoken by the sunlight splashing on her face. Eyes squinting to try to keep the day from coming. She had no power over it just like the rest of her life. She finally sat up in bed with thoughts of what kind of situation she was in. She had married to this man for 9 years now. Was there any hope for them? She had no idea how to make it better or make him understand how much she loved him and what he was doing to their marriage every day they went with the drinking and disrespect. Her mother told her so many times she didn't have to endure this marriage but what did she know. She married a man that didn't have a spine. How much longer could Janice afford to deny what was really going on and that things were never going to change. Maybe she should take some time away by herself to figure things out. Where would she go? Maybe San Diego or New York. Boy what odd choices at each end of the United States. She thought for a moment longer and decided this was what she needed to do. She would talk with her parents about keeping the children for a couple of weeks. It shouldn't be a problem since it was summer for them. Her parents always loved keeping the kids.

She finished dressing and gave herself an agreeable nod as she walked out of the house and locked the door behind her. She was at the hospital in no time at all. Parker was already awake when she got to the hospital room and the doctor was there. She walked in quietly to not interrupt. It didn't help as Parker noticed her right away and gave her a smile as he introduced her to the doctor.

"Hi sweetie!" Parker greeted Janice. "Dr. Arnold, this is my wife Janice." Parker said as he held out his hand for her to take.

"It's nice to meet you Dr." as Janice shakes his hand. "How is he doing?"

"Much better. There shouldn't be permanent damage. I feel he is healing very quickly" Doctor Arnold reassured her.

"See honey, I told you it would be fine." Parker prods her.

Janice shifts her weight as she become uncomfortable once again in Parker's presence. The images of the day before play through her mind again as she tunes out Parker and the doctor discussing something. What could she do differently that would change things? Maybe they could see a marriage counselor. I suppose we should give it that chance at least. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling like I'm swimming up stream every single day. It's not so much that he treats me badly but more the attitude I feel from him that he doesn't really want to be here. I just don't want to give up on this marriage I just don't know what hope it has. I never imagined my marriage failing.

As the doctor headed out the door waving to Janice, she waved back and approached Parker at his bedside. "Parker I have a question for you."

"Sure", he replied.

"Do you want to be married?" she asked paying attention to his facial expressions as the words came out.

"Well of course!" Parker replied after a short pause. "Why are you asking me that question?"

Janice sat for a moment contemplating her answer. "Sometimes I feel like your roommate instead of your wife. I've been thinking and I think I need some time alone." She eases the news out.

"What do you mean some time alone? Why would you need some time alone? Are you planning on leaving me becaues if you are, don't waste my time, just go!" Parker says getting upset.

"NO! Parker. I just need some time alone to clear my head. I feel like I've lost myself in this marriage. I'm married to an alcoholic."

"I'm not an alcoholic Janice!" Parker shouts at her.

"well then what would you call it Parker?"

"I don't start drinking until dinner time. Alcoholics drink all day." Parker defends himself.

"that's not true Parker. There are different types of alcoholics. You are just a part time one. I love you but when you've been drinking, I don't like you at all." Janice says as she begins to break down.

"What do you mean you don't like me? What kind of thing is that to say to your husband." Parker asked.

"Parker, i know you don't always remember what happens when you've been drinking but I can never forget." Janice replies.

"I don't hit you, do I?" Parker asked.

"Well no, but you've raised your hand to me and you abuse me verbally Parker. Not all abuse is physical. Just because it isn't physical doesn't make it any less real. I'm tired and I've lost my way. I need to get away for awhile", Janice argues.

"Are you having an affair?" Parker accuses.

"What! What are you talking about? Don't turn this around to make this my fault. I just need some time away Parker. Please just give me some time to get my head together." Janice pleaded.

"And what am I suppose to do while you're gone?" Parker asked.

"How about look for a hobby or a job and quit drinking." she shot back.

"Can't we come up with another solution Janice?" Parker asked.

"Parker I don't know what else we're suppose to do." she replies.

"How about we try a marriage counselor?" Parker said.

"You'd be willing tosee one and really giveit a try?" Janice asked.

"Yes, of course I will. I love you. I don't want you to leave." Parker said.