Hello people! My name is Kris Maria, it's nice to indirectly meet you! :D

I've been on this site for a while. Over that long while I've written some real shit, one masterpiece (apparently, because it still gets views to this day when it's been completed for over a year), and other stuff that you see and go 'hey, that story's alright!' and then forget about. I tend to take long uncalled-for breaks out of nowhere, and I get very long-winded when describing scenes, clothes, characters, etcetera...

I like playing video games a lot. If I stop one game I have to restart the whole thing again so I can remember what the hell I was doing. Well, that goes for just about everything I suddenly stop doing and randomly pick up again! It's a weird habit, yeah :I

I love yaoi, so you people will probably see a lot of that here. I mean no offence to anyone who doesn't like it, but hey, it's my story. I love romance, so there will most likely be a multitude of things of that nature. Sorry if you guys don't like that, but I think I should be able to write about what I want to. Same thing goes with different themes and moods and if I want to use O.C's or not. I want to write it, so I do so. I might shit on myself, but if I really didn't like it, the story/chapter wouldn't even be there. Simply put, I do as I damn well please. If you have an issue don't say a word, just forget about me altogether, thank you. C:

(THIS IS RANTING; JUST A WARNING) Because I've been in high school I've been trying to take my studies and such more seriously then I have been. In doing that not only have I passed the PSAT and am going to take it again next year (cause that's how my school makes you do it), but I am in the 'not quite A.P' English course for my grade. I HATE IT SO MUCH OH MY GOD. I've never not liked English, but this effing teacher is Lucifer's daughter or something, I swear. The tests are long and have NOTHING to do with what we've learned and so are all the essays (there's a LOT of those). It's really the main reason why I haven't been doing FanFiction, I've been so caught up in this friggin class. It's the only class where I have a high eighty as my average, everything else is in the nineties, and it just pisses me off that I do everything I can and it's just 'not enough' (as the teacher says).

Also I've gotten my driver's manual :3 I'm soo excited but kinda scared at the same time. I mean-I'm learning how to drive, and that's amazing. But the neighborhood where I live is so bad, drivers are in this whole different section of danger, entirely different from what I'm used to being a reclusive, anti-social shut-in.

I'll probably post more stuff that I think of later, but as of now have some 'post to your profile' stuff I like :P

YOUR GUY SIDE

You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. It's hilarious when people get hurt. You've played with/against boys on a team. Shopping is torture. Sad movies suck. You own/ed an X-Box. Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. You own a DS, PS or Sega. You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. You watch sports on TV. Gory movies are cool. You go to your dad for advice. You own like a trillion baseball caps. You like going to high school football games. You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors. You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Sports are fun. Talk with food in your mouth. Sleep with your socks on at night.TOTAL: 12/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE

You wear lip gloss/stick. Cats are better than dogs. You love to shop. You were eyeliner. You wear the color pink. Go to your mom for advice. Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors. You hate wearing the color black. You like hanging out at the shopping center. You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. You like wearing jewelery. Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. You don't like the movie Star Wars. You were/are in gymnastics/dance It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up. You smile a lot more than you should. You have more than 10 pairs of shoes You care about what you look like. You like wearing dresses when you can. You like wearing body perfume. You love the movies. Used to play with dolls as little kid. Like being the star of every thing. Love romances TOTAL: 13/25

(i always thought of myself more as a tomboy, really. guess not!)

Lessons For Life. Use them wisely.

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5.Do not go out in public.

6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

so, yeah! who cares what people think, just have fun!

Kris Maria -owo-