I have a confession to make.

My name is Kristie Goldberg. I am a lonely person. My mind has all sorts of crazy ideas so I write them down as fanfic and hope to get attention here. But because I don't spend much time developing my stories, nobody reads them or reviews.

If you do leave me a nice review I will respond immediately with a bunch of my personal information so you will have sympathy for me and know that I am "real." You'll find out that I have two adopted, part-black kids, and was in a car accident (which I hope will explain why sometimes I make no sense: I had brain damage).

I got jealous that some other authors have more people following them so I decided to do even better.

One thing my "fans" are right about is that I am creative. I am so creative that I made them all up! And each one of them has a different story to go with her. One is a school counselor, another one an ex-professor, and so forth.

I'm not that advanced with language, though, or smart in other ways. I don't actually know that other authors get reviews from actual other people, either friends/other authors they have met here, or people that have found their stories and actually enjoy reading them. But you can tell all my reviewers are me because they all say just about the same things.

Once I even messed up and reviewed my own story with the account I posted it with. I covered it up saying I was actually reviewing someone else's story, but nobody actually could believe that, since the review was so clearly about my story. So I used a few of my other accounts to express sympathy and say that they had done the same thing, to make it sound more plausible. Then I used more accounts to push all that stuff down so nobody will read it anyway.

I also use my other accounts to attack anyone who criticizes my stories. I think it's really important that nothing negative be said about my stories. My reviewers only say positive things. And if other people review my stories, they usually give "constructive criticism" which I am too sensitive to understand as something to help me. Instead I feel belittled, and the only help I can give myself is my other personalities defending me.

And if someone who criticizes my story in even the most minor way writes stories of their own, I make up new accounts so I can criticize their stories! Only I have no idea how to write constructive criticism, so I just write a personal attack against the author and vaguely bash all of their stories!

Isn't it funny how my "reviewers" understood my "author's note" in my latest story even though nobody else would have?

Here are some of my accounts, though I will probably be making more, and may be changing names:

Kristie Goldberg 4856896

Susie Walker 4989226

Roseanne Victoria 4911511

Margaret Billings 4954404

LindyLutz 5071598

Kathryn Williams 4904649

Jessie Alysee 4905387

Becca OOO 5099035

Barbie28 5047701

AnnieColton 4904084

Dalittlewoman 5138386