InsanityWriter96
 Author has written 1 story for Naruto. NAME: Elle Vanders Age: 15 Sex: nope I wear a purity ring ;) aha just kiddin i'm female Hmm where to start i'm a dork; slightly mental; Anime freak:Pagan; and a loser But i'm the awesomest loser you'll eva meet ;D...I wish X) I'm sixteen but the waitresses keep giving me the kids cups and crayons at restraunts not that I mind and also like wtf why dont they ever give you like a book or something to draw in, am I suppose to just draw on my napkin then how will I use it?!? ...Cheap arseholes . I'm a weirdo and have a sick obsession with Lord of the Rings, fanfiction, Batman, Aquaman, anime, and the arts. Vegan for life! 6 years and counting. https://twitter.com/#!/Elle_Vanders 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3.Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public. 5.Do not go out in public. 6.Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7.Note expressions. 8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9.Floor is slippery when wet. 10.Lake is slippery when dry. 11.Only talk to strangers you know. 12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15.Kill them for security purposes. 16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible. The men in white coats are not your friends. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25.Train army of flying monkeys. 26.Goldfish don't like milk. 27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28.Find out who invented the word "pianist". 29.People are staring at you. 30.So act insane. 31.People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. 33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible. 35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36.Never pet a burning dog. 37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38.Naked men dig parkas. 39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40.You know what would look good on you? 41.Immolated cockroaches. 42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43.The size of Danny DeVito. 44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. 45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49.That way is rum. 50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52.You cannot kill the snow. 53.The snow can kill you. 54.Grass can also kill you. 1.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 2.Catch and castrate leprechaun. 3.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58.Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65.Remember to kill HIM... 66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67.Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions. 71.Eat the evidence. 72.But not if it's broken glass. 73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75.Disregard last note. 76.Note reactions. 77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78.Stock up on ball point pens. 1.Learn to fly. Tell no one. 2.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81.Do not stick fingers into blender. 82.Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83.Blood loss is bad. 84.Find way to re-attatch fingers. 85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86.Answer every question with a question. 87.Ask people what gender they are. 88.Note reactions. 89.Refer to people as "mortal". 90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92.Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93.Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94.Kill them. 95.Brutally. 96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97.Dunk head in boiling water. 98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile. If you are a fangirl of any villain, copy and paste this into your If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on If you have ever pushed a pull door, or vice versa, copy this into If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick- If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your Bad spellers of the world UNTIE! If you are a bad speller and proud of Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, If you have your own little world(s), copy and paste this into your If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. copy and paste this if you like the most annoying songs in the world. copy and paste this if you think the people who DON'T like those songs Weird is good and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. If a glass door has spontaneously appeared out of nowhere, copy and If you've tripped over a twig, copy and paste this into you're profile. If you don't live in this universe, copy and paste this into you're If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table If you use the term "weird" when you can't think of anything else to If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue If you are really random put this on your profile. f you think that I think that you think that I think that you think If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your If you have ever run into a wall while being total sugar high copy If you think that if girls would rule the world and it would be a If you've been terrorized by a chicken, copy and paste this into If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous You know you're obessed with Naruto when you.. Live by a strict diet of only ramen. Dye your hair blond and try to walk up a tree. Call your semester exam a chuunin exam. Start using 'un', 'hn', and 'dattebayo' several times a conversation Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector. Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan". Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline. Tell your friends about your dream to become -insert name of county here- kage! Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter. Start adding the words -chan and -kun on the end of your friends' names. Paste a piece of paper that says "Icha-Icha paradise" on the front of adult books. Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou. Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "Chidori" as you pass out. Start to call your teachers Sensei. Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharingan. Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day. When someone asks you who your dream girl is and you say Ino. Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central. Spend your week searching down Naruto sites. Refuse a date because you're saving yourself for Sasuke. Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu. You eat Ramen all day every day. You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese. You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days. You buy a 200 pair of Sharingan contacts. You say "Dattebayo" or "Believe it!" after every sentence. You cover half of your face with a mask. You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites. You try to walk up trees using your feet only. You draw whiskers on your face. You spend the time to make and maintain a Naruto web site. You draw black circles around your eyes. You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities. You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it. You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you. You give people the 'nice-guy' pose. You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!" You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You tell people your dream is to be Hokage. You replace your backpack with a giant gourd. You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts. ...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take out the contacts. You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you. Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think its Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out. You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer. You roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan!" You give people the 'nice-guy' pose. You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!" You have to put on a headband before a major competition. ...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equals. You do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu You trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector. You dress up like a girl and say it's your "Sexy Jutsu" (for guys only). You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck. You don't care that your life has started to suck because "it's not cannon". You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before. Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, Itachi, or all of Akatsuki member. You try to make pairings between characters. You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'. You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode. You carry puppets with you. You call your group of friends a "three man cell". "Art is a Bang" Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow. You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it. The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade. You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto. You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces. You buy those stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face. You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00 AM. You spy on girls and call it research. You try to summon a frog in biology class. ...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrusting your hand on the floor. You carry around frogs and call yourself "the Toad Sage". You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people. You refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke. You have a pet pig named Tonton. You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode. You call your teachers sensei and your not Japanese. You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese. You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part you mission. You use pick-up lines like "Wanna see my new jutsu?" or "Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?" You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique. You start making hand signs. ...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!" You try to sign a contract with blood. You hit people over the head if they say something stupid. You paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books. You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands. You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto. You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool. Your in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!" You take out a bottle of hot sauce and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)" You get mad when people call Naruto stupid or Gay You have many Naruto head bands with the same sign on it and you got it again cuz it's a different color or its metal You trust your life in websites like Saiyanisland or Uzumakiworld You wish they would put Naruto Shippuuden on Adult Swim You though Naruto was a little boring after Sasuke left You think Byakugan looks a little painfull You even write in Adult Fanfiction You think all of the Naruto boys look a lot hotter in Shippuuden You make up your own little Naruto world in your head You wish you had half of all Naruto products or all Your new favorite color is orange You've considered medical school and dyed your hair pink You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Naruto ...And also try to add to this list as well Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king. Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou. Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out. Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n. Start to call your teachers Sennin. Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family. Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke. Read manga 24 hours non-stop. Decide that if u can't hit a tree 1500 times then you'll jump rope 1500 times. Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way". Try to walk on top of a hot spring. When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage. Write your name in blood on a big scroll. Take a leave of absence for two and a half years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter. You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand. You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha clan. You always wear green, skintight clothes. When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu. You dye your hair white and spy on girls. You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage. You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it and claim to catch demons. You sharpen chop sticks and claim them to be senbons. You yell out "Wind Shuriken Throw of Death" when throwing a frisbee. You stick pythons up your sleeves, jump down from a tree, and say that you're Orochimaru. Throw knives around the house and scream "I am practicing to throw my kunais!!" You try to gulp down ramen and nearly choke. Paint dark circles with mascara around your eyes and claim to be able to control sand. You faint when someone touches your forehead. You flail your arms in circles to try and kill bees. You try to kill your brother every day. Dye your hair pink and follow around the hottest guy you can find. You constantly crack your knuckles and do hand signs without even thinking. You claim your gym teacher to be your mentor. You always wear an orange jumpsuit. You claim your life goal is to kill your brother. You drink sake and say you are in the "spring time of youth". You add the word dattebayo to the end of each sentence. You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match by your mouth to create a fireball. You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!". You always carry a large fan behind you. You paste Naruto's face on pictures of your friends and claim to have met him. In the middle of the night, you blast a flashlight into your dad's eyes and yell "Chidori!" Get Konoha tattoos on various parts of your body. Tattoo the love symbol on your forehead to look like Gaara. Carry a fan and wave it at anyone with a shadow. Draw a swirl on your palm and claim to be able to do the Rasengan. When being attacked, you spin in circles to defend yourself. When fighting someone, you attack to hit that at their chakra points. You name your pig Ton-ton. You look in the mirror and think its your shadow clone. You yell "Konoha Senpuu" when kicking a soccer ball. You carry around a puppet all day and claim it is dangerous. You call your teacher Iruka-sensei. You go to school with a forehead protector and claim it is the new trend from the Hidden Leaf Village. You say "Believe It" or "Dattebayo" after every sentence. When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times. You stay up all night claiming that the Shukaku will eat you. You lay and stare at the clouds all day claiming everything to be troublesome. You have a frog wallet. Every time your class goes on a field trip, you call it a mission. You get angry and feel like punching Karin whenever she makes a move on Sasuke. Paint your skin red and tell everyone you opened the third chakra gate. You type in Konoha as your hometown on Internet forms. You keep paper shurikens in your fanny pack. You draw mouths on your palm during art class and pretend the clay figures you make come from the mouth When your parents ask you why are your eyes so bloodshot, you tell them it's your Sharingan eye. Say "Itadakimasu" before you eat. When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times. You stay up all night claiming that the Shukaku will eat you Have read this entire thing to see if your obsessed, XD. To Every Girl: To every girl that is SCARED to To every girl that has been To every girl that To every girl who To every girl that will spend her To every girl who gets her heart To every girl that would die To every girl who would just once To every girl that cries at night To every girl that won't get To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who To every girl who would just To every girl who To every girl who lies To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who shows how much To every girl that thought To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff To every girl who is just To every girl that doesn't want To every girl who wants To every girl that fell for all the lies To every girl that gave her heart away To every girl that has faith that Funny Random Quotes: There's only so long I can do what other people want before I lash out and castrate someone. Sex is like a Bridge game; if you don’t have a good partner, you need a good hand. I don't listen to that part of my brain. I've tied up that little voice with chains and a gag. The other voices are getting the branding iron, blowtorch and whips ready for a 'session'. I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I've gotta be me -- everyone else was already taken. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. I am not insane, I am artistic!! You look like shit. Is that the style now? Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. Poets have been curiously silent on the subject of cheese. I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. Favorite quote:Pop goes the weasel. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Naruto (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Neji Hyuga or Itachi Uchiha is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Naruto related thing you can think of about Naruto or the Naruto characters. Crazy is when you can open up Naruto and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you stay up all night to write fanfic then wake up early in the morning to do it again, even if you have school. Crazy is when you get hurt and start to laugh non-stop for no reason. Crazy is when you can't fall asleep at night because you're too busy playing a Naruto game, or thinking about Naruto. Crazy is when you wake up at 4:00 in the morning to finish a naruto fanfiction before school starts. Crazy is spending every lunchtime in a cramped classroom playing a naruto video game with your insane friends. Crazy is coming up with naruto nicknames for you and your friends and dressing up as them on normal school days. Crazy is when you start talking about Naruto yaoi fanfics in front of your ever so disturbed law teacher. Crazy is when you think about ItaSasu before you sleep and end up dreaming about something completely different. Crazy is realising you've done one or more things on this list. Crazy is having a dream where you almost get killed twice and its still super funny! Crazy is when you perform different 'positions' in front of a crowd, showing which way is better, and laugh when they look at you, confused and blushing. Crazy is when you tell your friend a yaoi joke and end up laughing like a lunatic when they ask you what is yaoi. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! The sorting hat says... Slytherin! Slytherin Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest." Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort EXTRAS I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm Pansexual, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too(which I do but thats not the point). I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.(my mom is not a whore, those who think otherwise can kiss my arse) I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt) I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. ICHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake(I do . I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist. I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to bash your head in with a brick. I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to steal all your stuff. I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be stupid and the tests are getting easier. I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a STUPID IDIOT that you MUST explain things to. Copy Paste this into your profile if you hate stereotypes. Then bold all that apply to you. Quotes: - "That which does not kill me, had better start running pretty fast" - "Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse', cause God takes it as a personal challenge" - "There are two types of pedestrians: the quick and the dead" - Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. - Whatever you are, be a good one. - Keep staring I might do a trick - I hate you, and then I love you. It makes me want to throw you off a cliff and then run to the bottom to catch you - I love you in a “I wish a car would hit you” kind of way - She’s banged up, mentally and emotionally. Literally and metaphorically. But every day she walks out the door with a smile on her face because that’s just who she is. - That face could make a Freight Train take a dirt road... - "...I've been around the block a few times-" That's only because you were too drunk to find the house! - Gossip; it'll move like shit through a Goose - This place is so weird the cockroaches have moved next door... - I never knew my father was an acoholic until he came home sober one night - Becareful of the toes you step on today because they could be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow - Jeesh, who peed in your Cornflakes? - Cute guys make you crazy, hot guys make you drool, cool guys make you daydream. But only funny guys can make you fall in love without even knowing it. - You can take anything you want, as long as it's not from me - "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns - I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot - War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left My Mother Taught Me… 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules"From the female side... Now here are the rules from the male side. ...These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE ) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be… 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials… 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle... 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Great Green Gobs Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts, French fried eyeballs mixed in with baby mush, I for-got my spoon! So I'll use a straw... The Purple People Eater Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater. Curse of the Hearse Here Comes The Hearse! never Laugh When The Hearse Goes By, |
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