Oh-look-a-quarter
 Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, House, M.D., and Harry Potter. Okay people actually reading my profile...one question...why are you here stalker? lmao, jk...but seriously, here are the deets: Name: Malena If you dislike my name, or it is to complicated for you, feel free to call me : Mel, mellie, mel-mel, meana, pixee stikk, leena, house, or Layna. I even answer to "Hey you!" Age:16 Gender:Female Location: Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and wizardry monday-friday, narnia Saturday and Sunday TV shows: Law and Order: SVU House MD WWE Raw Rachel Maddow Hells Kitchen Books: Harry Potter Twilight Wicked seires (the witches, not OZ) Romance novels(of both the trashy and non-trashy variety) Samurai Girl Midsummer night dream This Lullaby Lock and Key Along for the ride White Oleander Memoirs of a Geisha Flirting With Danger Favorties Ships: Draco/ Ginny Tom/ Ginny Lucius/ Ginny(a little creepy, I know) Hermione/ Draco Bella/ Edward Stabler/ Benson HHH/ Stephanie Orten/ Stephanie House/ Cuddy House/ Wilson(lmao, jkjkjkjk) Tony/ Rosaline Emmett/ Rosalie Alcie/ Jasper Esme/ Carlisle Samantha Jelicoe/ Rick Addison If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you. I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch(thing is I am kinda a bitch sometimes hehehehe) I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.(I am bi-partisan in a way) I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I READ ABOUT VAMPIRES, so I must not BELIEVE IN GOD. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE/HAD STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a ho. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I’m SCOTTISH, so I MUST be violent and have a drinking problem. I have tattoos, so I must not care about my appearance I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm Wiccan so I must worship the devil I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I dropped out of college so I must not care about my future. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich. I'm an OG so I must be Mexican. I have a few REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS, so we MUST be lesbians. I don't BELIEVE IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, so I MUST be a religious nut. I'm a VIRGIN, so I JUDGE everyone that isn't. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature. ( I want to be a politician! coughcough vampire coughcough ) Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit! That 90's kid (I was little in the 90's, but still remember like, doin 99 percent of this crap) Just because you were born in ’97 doesn’t mean you’re a 90’s kid You’re a 90’s kid if: You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this "In west Philadelphia born and raised" You remember when it was actually worth getting up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, or Fairy Princess comforter You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular You remember The Original Game Boy You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off" You always wanted to send in a tape to America’s Funniest Home Videos but never taped anything funny You remember watching -Rugrats -The 1st Batman -The Magic School Bus -Step by Step -The original Power Rangers Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life, The Brady Bunch & I Love Lucy. POKEMON!! Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years. You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House" You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.) You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not... Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show. Captain Planet. You had a favorite song of ALL TIME Then, You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3...and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" "I've fallen and I can't get up" You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates Two words... Trapper Keeper. You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide You wore socks over leggings scrunched down When everything was settled by: -'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere You remember playing Four Corners, Capture the Flag, Wiffleball, Mother may I?, and Linkin Logs You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.) You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out. You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes. When everyone watched the WB. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said You thought Brain from Arthur would finally take over the world You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You remember when everyone went slinky crazy. You remember when razor scooters were cool. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid 3.50 for a movie. When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans. When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever. Tag. Get Over Here!! means something to you. Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk. Red Light, Green Light. Heads Up 7 Up. Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on. Hopskotch. Slip-n-Slides. Tree Houses. Hula Hoops. HELLO...HOT WHEELS!! "POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS. Running through the sprinklers. That "Little Mermaid" Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King. Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car. Getting the privilege to sit in the front seat of the car. Drinking Squeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It" CAPRI SUN Kool-Aid was the drink of choice. Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school. Class field trips. When Christmas was the most exciting time of year. When 5 dollars seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle. When Toys R Us overuled the mall. Go back to the time when: Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!' 'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.' It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends. Being old referred to anyone over 20. A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery. Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better. It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair. When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever. When Ninja Turtles ruled the world. Another Baby Sitter Club and Little Sister (Karen) book came out and you put your name on hold for it at the library. When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool You remember those Where’s Waldo books You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum You remember Ring Pops You remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them You played and/or collected "Pogs" Silver dollars, which were cool to have If you even know what an original walkman is You went to McDonald’s to play in the playplace Before the MySpace frenzy Before the Internet & text messaging Before Sidekicks & iPods Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 When we were younger: Way back, Before we realized all this would all eventually disappear. You're a 90's kid if you smiled at least more than 10 times. . . Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one. 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoyin a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur. (darn...jk) 34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously 35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell. 36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. 38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time". 41) Mcgonagal and Dumbledore do not have a secret love child, as amazing as that would be 42) Professor Snape is not, and never will be, in love with Hermione Granger Pictures for 'A Black Potter' yay! |
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