Cut Myself Shaving
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Joined 05-29-12, id: 4027331, Profile Updated: 12-20-13
Author has written 13 stories for Janet Evanovich.

SIGH.

I SO WANT THIS WORLD TO BE A MOST PERFECT PLACE.

BUT SOMEHOW I JUST DON'T GET ALL THOSE NOT SO BRIGHT PERSONS.

IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD, CHILDREN ARE BEING KILLED OR ENSLAVED.

IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD, WOMEN ARE FORCED TO MARRY THEIR RAPISTS.

AND HERE IN THIS FREE AND GREAT COUNTRY, SOME PEOPLE CHEER WHEN A WOMAN MADE A MOST STUPID DECISION/MISTAKE .

GEEZ.

OH YES, BY THE WAY, LEAVE ME REVIEWS IF YOU MUST. BUT DO REMEMBER THAT ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT BE WALT WHITMAN(PLEASE, WHO LOVES WHITMAN THESE DAYS?)IN ONE OF MY PREVIOUS LIVES, BUT I DO KNOW HOW TO WRITE.

PS: BEING CUFFED NAKED TO YOUR OWN SHOWER CURTAIN ROD BY A HAIRY MAN WHO IS CURRENTLY TRASHING YOUR APARTMENT IS NOT CUTE , SEXY OR ROMANTIC. UNLESS YOU ARE TRAGICALLY STUPID AND TACKY AND ADDICTED TO BEING ABUSED, THAT IS.


All the unpleasant and nasty persons. All the dark and twisted thoughts. All the clichés and stereotypes:

cutmyselfahsving.blogspot.com


Cupcake Mentality: A series of stories in which a woman named Stephanie stops being stupid.

The timeline of Cupcake Mentality:

Happy Birthday, Batman

Be My Valentine

Please Love Me Back


The Impeccable Lies: A series of stories of a woman's awakening and a man's conceit.


Mel Gibson as Mr. Joe Morelli.


I'm pro-life.

I'm pro-choice.

I'm complicated but not confused.

It all depends.


You do have the right to dislike any stories—mine included.


A well-written nonsense is still nonsense.

Joe Morelli deserves a lesson, not happiness.

Tard the Grumpy Cat is actually not grumpy.


Yes, he loved her so much that he was was compelled to write all about her on public bathroom walls after taking her virginity on a cold hard floor.


One Ranger Is All You'll Ever Need

https://www.facebook.com/onerangerisallyouwilleverneed

Because cupcakes are boring.


Long Term Relationship Barbie:

Barbie murders Ken


Nope. I really don't like cupcakes : )


Winter is coming.


Holiday season.

Stay safe. Help a homeless cat. Be happy.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Stephanie grows up by Feewiz reviews
Stephanie learns to deal with the real world
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 62,456 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/28/2016 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Complete
A Random Life by sweetdreams-sunnymornings reviews
Ranger and Stephanie, life, love- - - together and mostly on the job! A series of oneshots, featuring our favorite couple together, in action. Mercenary Ranger. Babe. probably okay for CCs too, tho no Joe. Rating changed just in case.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 61,618 - Reviews: 1239 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 11/2/2015 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Stephanie P., Ranger M.
What Not To Wear by sweetdreams-sunnymornings reviews
Stephanie gets a makeover whether Ranger likes it or not. LOL. Fluffy oneshot. babe HEA. No Joe here. complete.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,745 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/22/2013 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
The Uprising by FanFictionDefender reviews
This is an AU story. For those that like canon, this probably isn't for you.
Warriors - Rated: M - English - Crime/Poetry - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,746 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/1/2012 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Thunderstar
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twenty 20 reviews
Stephanie Plum. Bounty hunter. Thirty-something. Blue eyed brunette. She is on a task. Everything is at stake. She will either win it or lose it all. But still she decides to take her chance. Will she get what she wants in the end? Or will she end up empty-handed? Theme Song: Nessun Dorma Maestro Pavarotti.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 15,403 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 7/8/2014 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Ranger M., Stephanie P.
Cupcake? LOL reviews
A collection of short stories. Babe HEA. No animals were harmed in the making of these stories. One certain hairy man may be harmed, hurt, maimed, broken, damaged, or worse.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 9,994 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/28/2014 - Published: 9/17/2013 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
The Color Blur reviews
A collection of nightmares. Death. Mistakes. Chaos. No theme song required. No HEA. But can you trust everything you read?
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 4,500 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/28/2014 - Published: 8/17/2013 - Ranger M., Joe M., Stephanie P.
Happy Birthday, Batman reviews
Story 3 of Cupcake Mentality. It took place 10 days before Be My Valentine . It's August 12th. It's his birthday. He sits all alone inside his silent apartment, thinking.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,489 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/23/2013 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Ranger M. - Complete
Bloodthirsty 33 reviews
Babe HEA. Turn back before it's too late, Cupcakes. A happily married couple. A smart beautiful child. A lazy purring cat. A pack of muscular men. An unsettled old score. A sad mad hairy man. His blood revenge. And his lonely journey. Theme Song: Now We Are Free from the Gladiator.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 19,669 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 1/14/2013 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
Cupcakes, Yum reviews
A couple of little one-chapter stories about a handsome charming hairy police detective named Joseph A. Morelli. He's enjoying his life. He's having a lot of fun. He has no regrets. He has moved on.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,394 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/7/2013 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Joe M. - Complete
The Path Not Taken reviews
A most unpleasant and truthful "Cupcake" story. There is only one rule in life: We make our own choices and take full responsibility for our decisions. No matter how much you want to turn back the clock, you are stuck in this cold merciless reality. Theme Song: When Doves Cry by Prince. Ranger has his own HEA, BTW.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 12,484 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Ranger M. - Complete
Frozen reviews
Warning: Controversial and most probably unpleasant theme. Harmful for the Cupcakes. Stephanie Plum made a decision and stopped being the Queen of Denial after a big mistake, and tried to put her life back together. Theme Song : Frozen by Madonna.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 21,673 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 2/15/2013 - Published: 9/25/2012 - Stephanie P. - Complete
Gypsy reviews
Story Three of The Impeccable Lies. The sequel to Somebody That You Used to Know. Based on Ronan Hardiman's beautiful and enchanting song Gypsy. Babe HEA, of course.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,623 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 8/25/2012 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
Please Love Me Back reviews
Sequel to Be My Valentine. Story 2 of Cupcake Mentality . Love is a spell. Love is a curse. With love comes obsession. With love comes greed. With love comes worry. With love comes fear. With love comes pain.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 12,335 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
Somebody That You Used to Know reviews
Story Two of The Impeccable Lies. The prequel of Somebody That I Used To Know. A one-sided and one-chapter story based on the Glee version of Gotye's cute and beautiful song: Somebody That I Used To Know. Babe HEA, of course.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Stephanie P., Ranger M. - Complete
Somebody That I Used to Know reviews
Story One of The Impeccable Lies . A one-sided and one-chapter story based on Gotye's cute and beautiful song: Somebody That I Used To Know . Babe HEA, of course.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Ranger M., Stephanie P. - Complete
Be My Valentine reviews
Story 1 of Cupcake Mentality . Love is blind and desperate. Love needs no reason or motive. Someone is madly in love with Joe Morelli. And she's out to get rid of Stephanie and Ranger. Permanently.
Janet Evanovich - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 13,271 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/9/2012 - Published: 6/12/2012 - Complete
Staff of:
  1. One Ranger Is All We'll Ever Need
    Books Janet Evanovich