Dude, this website has changed my life... I think I might be starting to obsess. Anyway, lemme tell ya about me! :)

Age: No need to know

Height: 5'6"

Foot Size: 8

Hobbies include:

Reading

Skating

Playing cello

Surfing the web

Drawing

etc.

Favorite Food: Soba

Favorite Movie: Transformers

Favorite TV: Yu-Gi-Oh & Merlin

If I could have anything, what would it be: A remote to bring me into my favorite shows and/or movies.

I'm one of the people who go "Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!!!" every time one of my friends say "This is madness!" (They do it a lot.)

So yea! Enjoy my stories that I post, and please only constructive critics. I really don't like flames (*cough* JERKS *cough*).

See you on the flip side!

I WILL KILL SENTINEL PRIME!!!!!!!!!! copy and paste if you wanna help. Add your name :D. Serenity Prime. Feylin Merisel Pax, EvilPurpleCookiePenkeyMonguin, Night Shading

97 of teens only see the Transformers franchise because of Shia La Beouf or Megan Fox. Copy and paste this into your signature if you're the other 3 that goes to see things explode and robots beating the slag outta each other! :D

If You Live In America, you post this

Why America has some Issues
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Science-Fantasy93, Gemcrazy98, BTR, mavk4444, Mrs.RebekahDiamond, Night Shading

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
" Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER."
This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million tim es. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."
18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.
"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this to your profile!

There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. Its when you argue with yourself and LOSE its weird. If you agree copy and paste this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world & like it that way, Copy & paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more then five consecutive minutes, Copy & paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed a door that said PULL or vice versa put this on your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Crazy is staying up all night just to finish watching a series you love. Crazy is wanting to go do some stupid stunt with your friends that you know will probably wind you up in a hospital. Crazy is laughing for no reason in the middle of class. Crazy is not knowing whether or not you're in love. Crazy is wishing you could create a portal to the fiction world so that you could bring back a few- at least- guys to marry. Crazy is yelling at inatimate objects because you think they hate you. Crazy is desroying your toaster because it's mocking you. Crazy is wearing a shoe on your head during both Science and English while eating pizza and reading Across Five Aprils. Crazy is looking in the mirror and making funny faces at your self; and don't stop if your boyfriend walks in. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

- If your one of the people who could perfectly understand Captain Jack Sparrow's confusing rants and when your friends all had confounded expressions on their faces you were like, 'well duh that made perfect sense.' Copy this into your profile.

- If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.

- If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

- If after seeing At World's End, you thought getting eaten by the Kraken might not be such a bad thing, if you got to go to the Locker and be with multiple Jacks. Copy this onto your profile.

- if you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have ever successfully watched all three Pirates of the Caribbean movies back to back non stop (which is about 7 straight hours of pure Jackness...) and still don't feel like your life is complete, copy and paste this in your profile. (Even though seven hours of pure Jackness is amazing, you can still never get enough of that sexy beast of a pirate.)

If you love Cap'n Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!

. . . . . . . .JJJJJJJJJJJJ
. . . . . . . .JJJJJJJJJJJJ
. . . . . . . . . .JJJ
. . . . . . . . . .JJJ
. . . . . . . . . .JJJ
. . . . . . . .J. .JJJ
. . . . . . . .JJJJJJJ
. . . . . . . .JJJJJJJ

. . . . . . . .AAA
. . . . . . .AAAAA
. . . . .AA. . . . .AA
. . . .AA. . . . . . .AA
. . . .AAAAAAAAAAA
. . . .AA. . . . . . .AA
. . . .AA. . . . . . .AA
. . . .AA. . . . . . .AA

. . . . . . . .CCCCCC
. . . . . .CCC
. . . . .CC
. . . .CC
. . . . .CC
. . . . . . .CCC
. . . . . . . . .CCCCCC

. . . . . .KK. . . . . . .KK
. . . . . .KK. . . . . .KK
. . . . . .KK. . . . .KK
. . . . . .KKKKKKKK
. . . . . .KK. . . . .KK
. . . . . .KK. . . . . .KK
. . . . . .KK. . . . . .KKK

«''•Jack•''»

I don't suffer from Johnny Depp addiction, I enjoy every minute of it. Paste THIS in your profile

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!

promise to remember Tonks
Each time time I knock something down.
And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley
Whenever I’m out of town.
I promise not to obey traffic laws
For Sirius’s sake of course.
And I promise to remember Lupin
When my heart fills with remorse.
I promise to remember Arthur
Whenever I am at St Mungo’s Room.
And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins
Every time fireworks boom.
I promise to remember Lily
When I see someone that holds pure beauty.
And I promise to remember Dobby
Whenever a pair of socks spots me.
I promise to remember Teddy
When I see someone with turquoise hair.
And I promise to remember Molly
When someone tells me they care.
I promise to remember Ginny
Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.
And I promise to remember the death eaters
When someone speaks of dominating the world.
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the wizards know

Put this in your profile if you always were, are, and will be a Harry Potter fan for the rest of your life.

A wise woman (me) once said: Harry Potter and friends will continue to live on in the hearts, minds and souls of his fans for forever and ever.

put this
(o)on ur page
if u like music

When life gives to lemons, throw them at life and say "I WANTED LIMES!"

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid!

Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

Love your enemies. it pisses them off

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Tell the truth and run

When in doubt, say a quote

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

When in doubt, make up words!

Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!

I'm not insensitive, I just dont care

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

It's you and me against the world - we attack at dawn.

Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

Normal people worry me.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!

take my advice i dont use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!

take my advice i dont use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

The road to success is always under construction

By the time you read this, you've already read it

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Dont steal, the government hates competition

The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep yur job at burger king!

How to annoy people

WARNING only read this if you wish to lower your life expectancy by a huge amount

Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
As people talk, smell their shoulders.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask people what gender they are.
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
ONLY TYPE IN CAPITALS

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary

I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

Don't follow me, I'm lost too

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later

Doctors say I have multiple personalitys. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

If the world is full of crazy people, THEY'D MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubburn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it

364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?

Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?

How can something be both “new” and “improved”?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

REMEMBER WHEN ..

getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with Roxas (KH 2) that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of French vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the French Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual ipod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why you're wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you respond to that little voice in the back of your head. Crazy is when you have a conversation with an inanimate object. Crazy is when you have dreams of ballet shoes taking over the world and possessed sheep attacking you. Crazy is walking into big, yard-thick poles. Crazy is going to the movies in costume or going to school in costume. Crazy is when you can recite the whole Sweeney Todd movie to people who haven't seen it yet. Crazy is when you start singing the Hogwarts school song while going down a rollercoaster. Crazy is when you paint your face school colors, duct tape your arms and legs school colors and wave pom poms around while running up and down around the stadium- area-place-thing shouting "I LOVE JACK SPARROW AND HE'S A SEXY BEAST!" and not caring what people say. Crazy is when you act like Ezio in your school (Doing parkour and "killing" people) while singing Funny Farm at the top of your lungs. (My friends were cracking up...) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is he considered a serial killer?

If you hate racism, copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

If most of your friends are invisible to others around you, copy and paste this to your profile.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.

Marriage is grand - and divorce is about 10 grand.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

A sane mind is a boring one.

If you’re IN but not OF this world, copy this into your profile.

If you're friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you), copy and paste this into your profile. (at least, some of them)

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. ( That freaked my Gym teacher out alright XD )

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. ( and my mind answers XD)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this in your profile.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask directions.

I’m the author of my own life unfortunately I’m writing in pen and can’t erase my mistakes.

92% of American teenagers would hold their breaths if Justin Beiber told them to. (Copy this to your profile if you would've been in the 8% laughing your @#!*% off!)

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on! :)

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are also like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Make a man a fire; keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is, why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you"

21 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" with different sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"

17. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

18. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

19. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

20. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

21. Mark out price tags with a sharpie

LOL I love this!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1..At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars... See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch toEspresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'.
6.Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10.Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

Post this on your profile to Make Someone Smile.

It's Called... THERAPY
Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!

MY PHILOSOPHIES:

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."

"Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else."

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotypes that fit you.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm Emo, I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm Blonde, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be Sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm SCOTTISH, so I MUST be a stupid drunk

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

Don't stereotype people. It's just wrong.

46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:

1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4) Pretend you can do magic.

5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.

16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color.

37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."

42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43) Ask them to help you stuy for your O.W.L.'S

44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

46) Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you-know-who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Moronic Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

Quotes

- "That which does not kill me, had better start running pretty fast"

- "Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse', cause God takes it as a personal challenge"

- "There are two types of pedestrians: the quick and the dead"

- Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.

- Whatever you are, be a good one.

- Keep staring I might do a trick

- I hate you, and then I love you. It makes me want to throw you off a cliff and then run to the bottom to catch you

- I love you in a "I wish a car would hit you" kind of way

- She’s banged up, mentally and emotionally. Literally and metaphorically. But every day she walks out the door with a smile on her face because that’s just who she is.

- Becareful of the toes you step on today because they could be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow

- Jeesh, who peed in your Cornflakes?

- Someone forgot to take their happy pills this morning!

- Cute guys make you crazy, hot guys make you drool, cool guys make you daydream. But only funny guys can make you fall in love without even knowing it.

"Alright, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasley black guts out."

-Jack Sparrow

In the middle of a RAGING thunderstorm, at seven AM, on a school bus

Random Highschooler: We're on a metal bus in an open field. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM I'LL KILL YOU HARRY!"

-Ron Weasley

"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!"

-Jack Sparrow

"Who makes all these?"

"I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!"

"You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is because you already found one! And are otherwise incappable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?"

"I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can KILL it!"

-Jack Sparrow and Will Turner

"Cuttlefish, Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish, flipping glorious little sausages..."-Jack Sparrow.

"Shoot him!"
"Cut out his tongue!"
"Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard!" Pirates of the Bretheren Court and Jack Sparrow.

"You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things."
"Like?"
"I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye."
"What did you call him?"
"Larry." -Jack and Mr. Gibbs

"On that day, I shall Futterwacken...vigorously..."-Mad Hatter aka. Tarrant Hightopp.

"She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised, and you get to die for it just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really...except for Elizabeth who is in fact a woman." -Jack Sparrow

"I-I-I I'm blending! I'm a blender!" Rango (Johnny Depp XD).

ok

no really...

you can stop now...

THERE'S NOTHING MORE NOW STOP READING MY DAMN PROFILE!!!!!

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