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![]() Author has written 8 stories for Twilight, X-Men: The Movie, Vampire Diaries, and Mortal Instruments. THINGS TO DO TODAY - 1) WAKE UP - 2) SURVIVE - 3) GO BACK TO BED Just felt like sharing. (Things in Bold are my own additons change or notes) BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE SOMEONE WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES...THAT WAY WHEN YOU CRIICIZE THEM YOU'RE A MILE AWAY AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES!! If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile 95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a fan of Edward Cullen, save a cow, eat a lion. If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever burst into song for no reason copy and paste this to your profile If you know someone that should be hit by a bus copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile. If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile. If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a mirror...copy/paste this into your profile. If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone mentions Twilight, and you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If whenever you see or hear the name "Jasper" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile. ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder. If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile. (You know who you are- Starts with a H and ends with a H) If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile. If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile. (We have stripper names- Don't ask!!) If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile. If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile. If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile If you've read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking over four times, copy this onto your profile If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile. If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile.If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen. Crazy is when you honestly belive Edward exists. Crazy is when you tell guys that ask you out that you already have a boyfriend and his name is Jasper Hale. Crazy is when you begin refering to TWILIGHT as a religion! If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. (Hell yes, besides it really dosnt work anyways, im pretty sure that VAMPIRES can spell too!!) You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass. I called your boyfriend metro, and he hit me with his purse. Emmett Cullen: Stronger than you since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than you since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Better than you since 1916 Edward Cullen: Bringing sexy back since 1901 Carlisle Cullen more compassinate than you since...wait i know this...we may have to count the years...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11...aww screw it) I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. That and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, Twilight...) You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on. Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway. On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?) On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one) An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. Girls (Not my writting) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. You know you live in 2008- (2010) when... 1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Lessons Learned in Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the bouquet while still resisting the wine. List twelve of your characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1 Alice 2 Demetri 3 Jasper 4 Emmett 5 Rosalie 6 Seth 7 Jane 8 Carlisle 9 Jacob 10 Edward 11 Felix 12 Tanya 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Seth and Felix, no and probably not 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Hell yes emmett is hot 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? 6. Five/Nine or Five/10 Why? Rose/jacob or rose/edward, well as funny as r/j would be im going to have to say rose and edward 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. jasper and edward, well if you have ever randomly searched names on fanfic.net their are a lot of these- bella leaves edward 4 demetri who she says is a real vampire instead is a sissy gelled up veggie vamp who will go premetuarly gray from worry, and alice leaves jasper and runs of to paris for fashion week where she meets a calvin cline model who she changes and uses as a dressup dolly. edward and jsper wollow together then admitt that they ave always loved each other and then break out in disco moves like some bizzare mating ritual. 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. 11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose? 12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? 13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? 14. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). alice and jane are in a happy relationship until jacob runs off with emmett. alice, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with felix and a breif uhappy affair with tanya, then follows the wise advice of rosalie and finds trulove with jasper. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously 1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Roses are red, If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. Heaven doesn't want me, and hell's afraid I'll take over. "You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention." -BromEragon I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away. "Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" ~ Anonymous "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." ~ Anonymous "Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present." ~ Anonymous "My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone." ~ Anonymous "If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous "When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous "Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up." ~ Anonymous "Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous "Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous "The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom,Nuns N' Bagels, Damon.x.Baird.x, ita-chan01, Razzika, .Talithia-Hawk.,Teddybearwithfangs., Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. |
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