Rainbow Engel
Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. Did you know... 10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen: 10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent. 9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent. 8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun. 7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER. 6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France. 5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”. 4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death? 3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water. 2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy. And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen? 1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!” 10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale: 10. Beg him not to eat you. 9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. 8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry. 7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain. 6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away. 5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. 4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts. 3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”. 2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction. And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale? 1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style. 10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen: 10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near. 9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride. 8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it. 7. Ask how Tanya is. 6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.” 5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face. 4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?” 3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga. 2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again. And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen? 1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna. 10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen: 10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. 9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. 8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. 7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. 6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in. 5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male. 4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed. 3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep. 2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen? 1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!" 10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen: 10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them." 9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget. 8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. 7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. 6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting." 5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic. 4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling 3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming. 2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes. And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen? 1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines. 10 ways to annoy Bella Swan: 10. Ask about Eric. 9. Ask about Mike. 8. Ask about Jacob. 7. Ask about Edward. 6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys. 5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. 4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy. 3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes. 2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon. And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan? 1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction. 10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale: 10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment. 9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face. 8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great. 6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways. 4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face. 3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face. 2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her. And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale? 1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne. 10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen: 10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. 9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc. 8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel? 7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy” 6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile. 5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake. 4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction. 3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off. 2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman. And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen? 1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail. 10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black: 10. Never use English around him – instead, bark. 9. Call him a space heater. 8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners. 7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet. 6. Inform him that real men sparkle. 5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage. 4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot. 3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella. 2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style. And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black? 1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human. Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT Jack was the most popular guy in school. Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Ashley approached the movies that night Ashley had peeked through Courtney's messing The next day at school Ashley wasn't A note that read: My dearest Jack, I Always with you, Ashley Please foward this or Ashley will 89 percent of guys want you to make the first move. Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his freinds, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER! May need a tissue girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl:Slow down, I'm scared! Guy:No, this is fun. Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy:Then tell me you love me. Girl:I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not re-post this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Re-post or you are going to die CUTE AND FUNNY QUOTES All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. (hell yea!) Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder "It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone." "It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with." "I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?" You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? He who laughs last didn't get it Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter "I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother" AWW!! she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town. things a boyfriend can do to keep ur heart! • give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in • leave her cute text notes • kiss her in front of your friends • look into her eyes when you talk to her • tell her she is gorgeous • let her mess with your hair • just walk around with her. • "FORGiVE HER FOR HER MiSTAKES" • look at her like shes the only one you see • tickle her even when she says stop • hold her hand when youre around your friends • when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her • let her fall asleep in your arms • tease her and let her tease you back • let her fall asleep in your arms.. • stay up all night with her when shes sick • watch her favorite movie with her • give her the world • write her letters kiss her in the pouring raina girl kiss her forehead ... at lest thats what they should do Her name was Aurora Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. 10 suicidal We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong. Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.- that happens alot. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. Silent is golden but duck tape is silver Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines. You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor. Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way. Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening. You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun. Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. Smile... it confuses people. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE Slinky Escalator = Endless fun Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide. I don't obsess, I think intensely Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them. Is he gay or European? When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile If you've ever fallen out of a chair backwards, copy this into your profile. If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in your profile if you’re one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in your profile( This always happens to me!) If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile. If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile. If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro. 95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste. If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste. If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile. If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE! Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. REMEMBER WHEN... Girls I find "good morning" contradictory Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon I think I could be madly in like with you Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips! Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot! Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...) One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to) Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car. They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. "Whenever a choice is made based on the excuse "life’s too short", it’s certain that life will be just long enough to punish you for it." -It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies (except his favorite movie is MeanGirls) with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. (he refused to go to Pelham 123) It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about- It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them - "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." – The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll beBLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... If kisses were raindrops, Unlike Barbie, Me & my friends aren't sold seperatly If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile. If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile. Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile. If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile. If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile. If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile. 98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile. If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile. ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls. If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile. Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried. If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile. If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile. 95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!" I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Join the dark side. We have cookies! I'm not insensitive, I just don't care The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over. A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught. Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS! History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide. I ran with scissors - and lived! Slinky Escalator = Endless fun! Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling? He who laughs last thinks slowest. When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary. If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete. You say physco like it's a bad thing… Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. Cute but psycho - things even out. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had! You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding. If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT! I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? I am not weird... just plotting I don't obsess!I think intensely! Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door. If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night!) If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain. Love is like water, it flows natural, sometimes it's calm, and sometimes it's rough, you just need to let it happen and let yourself go with it. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. The best proof of love is trust. Nothing in this world is worth having if it comes too easy. A friend is a person who dances with you in the sunshine and walks with you in the shade. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you love rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile. Crazy is a relative term in my family. Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now! The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Love me or hate me. Personally I could not care less Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. "The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf." "Nobody move! I dropped my brain." 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE 2. My mother taught me RELIGION 3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL 4. My mother taught me LOGIC 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 7. My mother taught me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 11. My mother taught me WEATHER 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION 15. My mother taught me: ENVY 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING 18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE 19. My mother taught me: ESP 20. My mother taught me: HUMOR 21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT 22.My Mother taught me: Genetics 23. My Mother taught me about my Roots 24.My Mother taught me Wisdom 25. My mother taught me about Justice 10 percent Freak Try not to cry... Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!... we fucked up... but that shit was fun!" FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste." FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) You know you're a writer... -If you talk to yourself. Copy and Paste this if you're a writer. Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life Girl runs away in shock and pain and Boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, authorinprogress97, blood wolfe 92 Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit She ended up staying longer than As she walked along under the tall elm When she reached the alley, which was a However, halfway down the alley she She became uneasy and began to pray, Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness When she reached the end of the alley, The following day, she read in the Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? My name is sarah child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! The Uncurable Disease Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scatch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy. Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school. My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry. A few more years later. I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died. Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide. "A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."-Unknown When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you. Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you. Don't be so humble - you're not that great. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it. Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind. If i dont call you When i walk away from you mad When i stare at your mouth When i push you or hit you When i start cussing at you When im quiet When i ignore you When i pull away When you see me at my worst When you see me start crying When you see me walking When i'm scared When i lay my head on your shoulder When i grab at your hands When i tease you When i dont answer for a long time When i look at you with doubt When i say that i like you When i bump into you When i tell you a secret When i look at you in your eyes When i miss you When you break my heart When i say its over I went to a party Mom….. I went to a party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, So I had a sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would. that I didn't drink and drive, though some friends said I should. I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right. The party finally ended, and the kids drove out of sight. I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece. I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least. Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, the kid that caused this wreck ws drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away. My own blood's all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, this girl is going to die. I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high. Because he chose to drink and drive, now I have to die. So why do people do it Mom Knowing it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, like a hundred stabbing knives. Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Tell daddy to be brave. And when i go to heaven, Put "Mommy's Girl" on my grave. Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I'm getting really scared These are my final moments, and I'm so unprepared. I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say, "I Love you, Mom!" So I love you adn good-bye MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) If you believe you have a choice to live or die, than don’t drink and drive! You might just ruin someone else’s life including family and friends or you ruined your own Life! Don’t Drink and Drive!! Copy and paste to your profile if you believe it. THE 1990's If you're under the age of 11 or 12...you shouldn't even read this, Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. You're a 90's kid if: You remember watching: You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ." You remember: You remember when it was actually worth getting up early You remember reading "Goosebumps You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not When everything was settled by: When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching: You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember watching: You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Lambchop's song never ended. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . When gas was 0.95 a gallon. Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear... It is sad because this is true. Before Tupac was shot. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. It's so sad 'cause I never see or do ANY of this anymore!! What are your 10 favorite Twilight characters (in order)? 1)Jasper 2)Paul 3)Bella 4)Emmett 5)Sam 6)Peter 7)Jane 8)Carlisle 9)Seth 10)Felix Have you ever read a 5/3 fanfic? Sam & Bella. I love this pairing!! What about an 8/4? Carlisle & Emmett EWW!!! 7/5? Sam & Jane... now I might :P What if 5 walked in on 1 and 10? Sam walking in on Jasper & Felix would be HILARIOUS!!!! Would you make out with 1? Hale yes Has 6 ever walked in on 7 and 9? Peter walking in on Jane & Seth. Strangest mental image ever. What if you walked in on 2, 10, and 4? Walking in on Paul Emmett & Felix would be the greatest day of my life!!! ;) I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children 2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping 4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping 12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness 13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required 14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Dumb scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? (Ima Girl Though?) 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait ...This one bulletin is for you... Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the enthusiastic friend that comes to a party of a friend's and wonders what her friend would do if she kissed her. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage! 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender. Right down the answers to these and then look at the answers. Done with that? Here are the answers: 1. You are in love with this person. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will become true before your next birthday!! "They hurt her" About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you! You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it! Come to the dark side, we have cookies! You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You love, I love. You jump off a cliff, I go get a cookie You're just jealouse because the voices are talking to me My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back Love comes in many colors One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject Boys are like trees, the take 50 years to grow up Hold on to the people you love forever, but know when to let them go. Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it. Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks! Love your enemys! It really pissess them off! A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it! I'm not insensitive, I just dont care You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time.(Example:" ' We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share. ' ") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Harry Potter) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. The last three Harry Potter books…finished those in a day each.) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock. You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human. You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. If you wish you could go to a vampire academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile. If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of Shadow Kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile. If you cried though out Blood Promise when Rose thinks back to the old Dimitri, copy and past this to your profile. If you want to cuss Spirit Bound out cause of the ending cope and past this to your profile. If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this. If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile. If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!! If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next. If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes from thinking about Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves. 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing Boredm Busters 1. Try not to think about penguins. 2. Make prank calls 3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them 4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday. 5. Atempt knitting. 6. Write a list of boredm busters. 7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah" 8. Look up Norman Bates 9. Email gradma 10. Update your blog. 11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy. 12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me. 13. Think of something funny your BFF said the otehr day. 14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960 15. Drool over Ben Barnes. 16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes. 17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right. 18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class. 19. Try to immate Talluah 20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself 21. Write an emaressing bio about your BFF 22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose. 23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy. 24. Stare at someone in your house. 25. Stare at your cat. 26. Change clothes. 27. Take a shower. 28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea. 29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut 30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours. 31. Let your dog chase after a car 32. Let him catch it Emmett's the strongest. But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous! Repost this if you think Jasper is HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. "This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence." I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed Don't mess with me I've got a stick I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! If this is true for you, copy and paste onto ur profile: The Girl: I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics. I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something. I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me. I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not. I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes. I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side. I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone. BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance. I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way. I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idot. I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment. I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write. I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all. I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends. I'm also the girl they call "best friend." ｦｦｦｦ you say im weird - I say im different ｦｦｦｦ You say prep - I say Goth ｦｦｦｦ You say pink - I say black ｦｦｦｦ you say Jesse McCartney - I say P!nk ｦｦｦｦ You say Paris Hilton - I say wtf? ｦｦｦｦ You say Pop - I say Rock ｦｦｦｦ You say Hannah Montana - I say Linkin Park This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line Im sorry if I... CRY too much SMILE too big LAUGH alot SING in the car DANCE in the rain SLEEP on the floor TALK too loud TRY too hard just remember i'm me not you Vampires are like pansy ass fairies they sparkle in the sun. Thats just plain old fucked up shit not to mention that they all think they are so hot. Please the guys look like god damn sissy girls. The girls look fucking freaky. Too beautiful to be real so in other words they are ugly as fuck. Throw some glitter on me and call me Mary. Im a fucking fairy! Look at me my ass sparkles in the sun. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight. Crazy is when you write Emmett Cullen or Jasper Whitlock is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Jasper's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the A PUSH final the next day. Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictional boyfriend Jasper or Emmett. Crazy is when you and your friends every conversation is about how hot Jasper is and how you wish you were Alice or a vampire. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile... LOVE is just a four letter LIE! If someone you love hurts, cry a river build a bridge, and get over it. Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak sometimes it means you’re strong enough to let go. The hottest love has the coldest end I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was. If you’re going through hell keep going We all make mistakes but you were my biggest. Love is a better teacher than duty. You come to love not by finding a perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. When I see your smile and I know it’s not for me that’s when I’ll miss you. The heart is the only broken instrument that works. How do you say goodbye to someone that had you at hello? Love can sometimes be magic,But sometimes magic can be an illusion. I’d hate to be a test tube baby,You’d know your father is a wanker. (no offence) Cool is just another word for cold, so by calling me uncool, you’re calling me hot, I know I’m hot thank you very much. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think or know that you copied and pasted the same thing more than once. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. If you love FANFICTION.NET, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you are in the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer The sorting hat chose: If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you have ever forgotten and/or spelt your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile. 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3 PLEASE READ Ok, so this didn't happen to me, but still read it. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart This really gets to me because I have a little sister. This makes me so happy that we have two wonderful parents. I wish everyone did. Hush, little sister I can see your arms I know you scream I can see the way I know that people Hey, little sister You see, little sister He screamed at me You know, little sister But hush, little sister I'm sorry little sister Uh oh little sister Hush little sister STOP CHILD ABUSE! You know you live in 2010 when... Funny Quotes That Don't Deserve the Title "Words of Wisdom" "Golden, Ripe, Boneless bananas- 39 cents a pound." "Sure their have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." "How to store your baby walker: Step 1, Remove baby." "You guys line up alphabetically by height." "Men, I want you thinking of one word all season. One word, and only one word: Super Bowl." "The internet is a great way to get on the net." "I get to a lot of overseas places, like Canada."- Britney Spears. "Most cars on the road only have one occupant- usually the driver." "China is a big country inhabited by many Chinese." "Most lies about blondes are false." "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago." –U.S vice president "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer." 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) 2) Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection) 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this) 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights. (Cat fight anyhow...just start them.) 7) Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off) 8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more) 9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "just do it") 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave'm in the middle) Your real name - Evin Your gangsta name (the first 3 letters in your first name plus "izzle" in the end) -Evizzle Your detective name (your favorite color and your favorite animal) – Black Wolf Your soap opera name (your middle name and your current location) – Elena Kennesaw Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, the first 2 letters of your first name, and the last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name) - Valevire (That’s not to bad) Your superhero name (your second favorite color, and you favorite drink) – Silver Diet Coke (WTF?) Your witness protection name (Name you wished you had) – Vasílissa Fengári (That means ‘moon queen’ in Greek) Your Goth name ("black" and the name of one of your siblings) - Black Riley Your Arab Name: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)- Vleavre (Weirdest. name. EVER) Your Nick Name (First three letters of your name and -ie) - Evie (Not my nick name it's Just Ev or Evinita if anyone wants to know) 94% of teenagers would cry if Edward Cullen tried to jump of a building. Paste this into your profile if you would be one of the 6% screaming 'jump Eddie jump!' Please Note: It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes. Heels were invented by a man to make women’s butts look smaller and to make it harder for them to run away. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. "Never hire a colorblind electrician." "If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it." "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking." "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." "Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug." "I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." "Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it." "After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done." "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." "Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill." "The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future." Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive Everybody is somebody else's weirdo Live dangerous…Run with scissors. I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. Smile... it confuses people. (my motto!) Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE. I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it." Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-) Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo I can resist anything but temptation. The best place to hide is in plain sight. And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goood I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away. I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth. "Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong..but you know what I mean." -Paul, Shes the Man Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. "Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork." Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?! So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun. Music is my boyfriend. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. Boy Girl “Where have you been all my life?” “Running away from you.” “Are you an angel from heaven?” “No, I’m a vampire from hell.” “Your place or mine?” “Both, you go to yours, I go to mine.” “Your feisty, I like that.” “Your smelly, go away.” “My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats.” “My dad runs that hospital, and that’s where you’ll be if you keep hitting on me.” “I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages.” “I have a high kick. And they love to land on…” “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” "Have I seen you somewhere before?" "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." “What do you do for a living?” “I’m a female impersonator.” “What’s your sign?” “Do not enter.” Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916 Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901 Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987 (\)_(/) (.• (.•Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.•) .•) If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (What girl doesn't not like Chocolate?) If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (maybe...) If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio. Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile Question: Why are Brazilian Guys so hot? Answer: (1) The accent. (2) The looks. (3) Just because God let it be. (Thank you so much) FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are extremely obsessed with Brazilian boys, and their accents, copy this to your profile. "God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die." "I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead." "The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day." --Ask anyone who knows me, this is like my life's complaint! "Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!" "Smile; tomorrow will be worse." -- I'm a diehard pessimist. Tomorrow's gonna suck worse so let's make use of this sucky day, right? "Everytime I hear that dirty word 'exercise' I wash out my mouth with chocolate." "Best friends, You fight. I fight. You hurt. I hurt. You cry. I cry. You jump off a bridge; I'll get a paddle boat save your retarded ass." When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and then just sit back and smile as the whole world sits there and wonders how you did it." Organized people are just too lazy to look for things If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile If you think that those stupid kids should just give that idiotic Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. (they did in the 80's) Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. I don't care what you say! I AM A PIRATE AND THAT'S THAT! (Copy and paste this into your profile if you are a Pirate!) "A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Copy and Paste if your a Ninja! I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If you have a scary crush on a book anime or game character copy and post this into your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. Don't forget to add your name! RaeVenn-Chan, Fall-For-Deceit, Naru-Vampire, Bookfreak30987 alba angelo Too many people are on crack. If you're not, then add this to your and add your name. RaeVenn-Chan, Fall-For-Deceit, Naru-Vampire, Bookfreak30987 alba angelo Too many peope have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, write this to your profile !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Captain Jack Sparrow is the BEST CHARACTER IN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, copy this and paste it onto your profile! If you support Captain Jack Saprrow and his Jar of Dirt, copy and paste this into your profile! If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, The Choco-Holic, Jade princess 815, plungers-rock-my-socks, Breezy411, RaeVenn-Chan, Fall-For-Deceit, Naru-Vampire, Bookfreak30987 alba angelo If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile! If you've actually tried to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, copy and paste this into your profile. If you aren't me, paste this on your profile. If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile. (I have resently discovered you can choke on your tongue.) If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off RIP Steve Irwin. Copy and paste this into your profile as a memorium. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. ( Will SOMEONE invent the Flux Capacitor already!?!?!) If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you are one of those weirdos who actually reads these things and puts them in their profile, go get a life. you are so obsessed with Twilight that it's NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile. If You Live In America, you post this Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever) 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. Lessons Learned in Twilight: 7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: Ah the joys of young, sarcastic minds ;) 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after Although not familiar She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading. 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think • Vodka to Fight against Odors • Vodka as a Dish Cleaner • Vodka for Toothache • Vodka as a Bug Repellent • Vodka for Hair • Vodka prolongs the life of your razor • Vodka as an Astringent • Vodka as a Pain Reliever • Vodka to relieve Fever • Vodka for a Sore Throat FUNNY NOTES!!!! Dear cockroaches, We thought we were indestructible too... Sincerely, dinosaurs. Dear McDonalds, Please supersize your playlands... Sincerely, child at heart. Dear Newton, A little credit, please? Sincerely, the apple. Dear mom, Seriously, what did you see in dad? Sincerely, Luke Dear husband, It's just a cold, stop carrying on like you are about to die. Sincerely, I didn't make this much fuss during childbirth. Dear God, Well, this is awkward. Sincerely, dead atheist Dear world, We have decided to call a truce. You're on your own. Sincerely, rock, paper and scissors. Dear Westboro Baptist Church, We have a funeral you can protest. It's in the North Arabian Sea. Sincerely, The Fable of the Porcupine It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. They were covered and protected, but the quills of each wounded the closest companion. After a while, they decided to distance themselves, and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by their close relationships because the most important part was the heat that came from the others. They were able to survive. The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the one that forms when individuals learn to live with the imperfections and admire the good qualities of others. The Moral of the story: LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE. 1. Grab the nearest book and turn to page 81 and find line 4: "My father has decided to go legit. No more burglarizing." -Pish Posh by Ellen Potter 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what can you touch? The headboard of my bed 3. what was the last thing you watched on TV? Zeke and Luther 'cause there was nothing else on 4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 2:27 maybe? 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time: Dang! 1:12 6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear? The A.C. 7. When did you last step outside. What were you doing? going to get junk food earlier today 8. Before you stared this survey, what did you look at? A Puckurt fic I think (that's Puck and Kurt from Glee) 9. What are you wearing? A black dress, my dad's white robe and mismatched grey socks 10. Did you dream last night? Yes. It was rather odd; Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls was the biological daughter of Puck and Kurt from Glee. Boomer (the blue Rowdyruff Boy) was her twin brother, they were teenagers and in Glee like their parents, and they were singing Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way at the Superbowl. I think The Cowboys were playing The Mets and the Mets were up by five. I don't like football, football season is over, the Mets are a baseball team, I haven't seen an episode of the Powerpuff Girls in forever and the Cowboys suck. So I have no Idea where THAT came from. 11. When did you last laugh? Earlier today, I was watching Ghost adventures, and my dad and I laughed at the look at one of the dude's faces when he heard a brick fall. 12. what is on the walls of the room your in? Paint. And for some reason some blue nail polish 13. Seen anything weird lately? Yes, a nice version of my little sister. 4. What do you think of this quiz? I've done worse 15. what was the last film you saw? The last part of the most recent Bring It On! movie. 16. If you became a multi-millionare over night what would you buy? A house for my dad and a LOT of books. and a Samoyed dog and a Turkish Angora cat 17. tell me something about yourself I don't know: You know absolutely nothing about me, so this is easy. I'm a brunette 18. If you could change one things about the world regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Make junk food healthy and save every animal I can. and get Donald Trump a new hair style 19. George Bush: Ab Lincoln! 20. Imagine your first child is a girl what would you call her? Shawnee, Erin, Hayden, Brigid... most likely Isis Baset right now 21. Imagine your first child was a boy what would you call him? I'm partial to Sethos Amun 22. Would you ever consider living abroad? No, I'd rather live in Georgia for the rest of my life then visit Brazil for Carnival, or see the Mayan ruins in Mexico. *rolls eyes* Stupidest. Question. EVER! -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. -If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up. -Never trust a squirrel...he'll bite your nuts. -I'm psycho but in a good way -Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS -BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool! - There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - He who laughs last didn't get it. - When there's a will, I want to be in it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. -I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. -Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. DRAGON PRIDE METER: If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. :-) If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever watched a really stupid show 'cause nothing was on, and you got into it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE anime, copy and paste this onto your profile. :-D If you are over the age of 12 and still watch cartoons, and are proud of it, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. If your one of those weird people who hate war but love violence, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that there should be a 'Report flame' button thing to report flamers, copy and paste! If you love silly/stupid/funny/inspirational or meaningful Quotes, copy this to your profile. If people have given up looking at you funny because there is no longer any point, copy this to your profile. If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do. If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile. If your plot bunnies give you the perfect idea- in the middle of a huge math test/ PSAT/shower or other bad time, copy this to your profile. If you ever threatened a computer, copy and paste this in your profile. If you read all of the listed copy-to-profiles on this profile, copy this to your profile. If the Voices of your characters threaten to drive you Mad (or Madder) copy this to your profile. If your Characters talk to you in your head, copy this to your profile. If YOU respond/talk to your Characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile. If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love random copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this on your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. IF you think that the first sign of madness is NOT! talking to yourself but instead receiving an answer copy this into your profile. 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this into your profile. If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile. If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile. If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile. If you wanted to punch Remus Lupin in the gut for thinking that he was "too old" for Tonks, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you agree that Tonks is a way better nickname than Dora (as in Nymphadora), copy and paste this onto your profile. If you agree Pansy Parkinson should be sent to a Dog Kennel, copy and paste this to your profile. In Remembrance: In Remembrance to Severus Snape, In Remembrance to Fred Weasley, In Remembrance to Dobby, In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin, In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks, In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody, In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a Voldemort, In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore, In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange, In Remembrance to Colin Creevey, In Remembrance to Hedwig, In Rememberance to Cedric Diggory, Really, he was the first victim of the second war. In Remembrance to Sirius Black And finally, In Remembrance to J.K. Rowling The woman who gave us the wonderful World of Harry Potter and was killed by pissed off fans of the Marauders, Fred, and Hedwig. ( Not 4 real) May they Rest in Peace (Or in Bellatrix's case, Pieces) 1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. 5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. 12. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. 13. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. 14. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 15. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them. 16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. 18. It's funnywhen people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. 19. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. 20. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or Yes I'm a Snake, but a damn cute one!!!
I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!! FEAR ME!!! Though now that I think about it, Should I be insulted? O.o IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? So, here's how it works: Opening Credits: Rocketeer by Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder Waking Up: Give It Up by Ariana Grande and Elizabeth Gillies First Day of School: Bon Bon by Pitt Bull Falling In Love: Rainbow Veins by Owl City Fight Song: Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo Breaking Up: Yeah 3x by Chris Brown Prom Night: Low by Flo Rida Life: Hot Air Balloon by Owl City Mental Breakdown: In My Head by Jason Derulo Driving: Big Time by Big & Rich Flashback: Take You to Rio by Ester Dean Getting Back Together: Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy by Big & Rich Wedding: Just A Dream by Nelly Birth of a Child: Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood Final Battle: I Love New York/New York New York by Glee Cast Funeral Song: I’m Yours by Jason Mraz Final Credits: Grenade by Bruno Mars sung by Ariana Grande O.o? What the hell kind of movie is THAT? It’s a little embarrassing. O///O Latin: Si vis pacem, para bellum - If you want peace, prepare for war I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter altogether. Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish. Albert Einstein A fool think himself to be wise but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. William Shakespeare When you throw dirt, you lose ground. Texan Proverb Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong??? In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. Albert Schweitzer While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself. Doug Horton Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? Abraham Lincoln Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. Kathryn Carpenter If you cried when L Lawliet died, copy and paste this in your profile! If you think Nate "Near" Rivers is a cuddly little creature, copy/paste this onto your profile. If you smirked when Light Yagami died, copy and/or paste this in your profile! If you are a slight and/or complete Death Note junkie, paste this in your profile. If you are a Death note freak copy and paste this into your profile. Some friends may say that they would die for another friend, but a real friend would blow up anyone who bullies you, however, a BEST FRIEND would shoot everyone in the room full of led then ask questions. If you think this COULD POSSIBLY be true, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that MattxMisa could happen if they had met, copy and paste this in your profile. If you know of a particular RyukxRem fanfic you like copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that WatarixRodger is just plain wrong and gross, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have read a MelloxMattxNear threesome copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile. If when you go to sleep you can hear songs that you haven't heard in three years copy this to your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile If your a fangirl/boy and proud of it, copy this into your profile If you're fully aware that you're an arrogant bitch and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them. Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die. -If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.-If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile -If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. 'Last night, as I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought to myself, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"' If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think Zero from Vampire Knight is hot copy and paste this into your profile. Post this Two Dead Boys OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. A moment of silence. f you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile. If you support the "Germany-Is-Holy Roman Empire-All-Grown-Up" theory, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. 95% of teens would cry if they saw ROBERT PATTINSON at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Put this as part of your sig if you are part of the 5% that would sit here with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!" If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. You know when you are obsessed with Hetalia when: 1. You start laughing hysterically at maps REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. (Reason I joined) BEAT PEOPLE UP FOR NO REASON=AUTOMATIC BADASS! Plus, I just look snazzy in black The Hetalia pledge I promise to remember Italy |
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