WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hallo ^_^

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
*I wear BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
*I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. (not religiously, but by blood :/)
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
*I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
*I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
*I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.
I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
*I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
*I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
*I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.
*I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
*I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
*I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
*I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
*I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I’m CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.
*I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
*I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
*I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
*I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
*I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
*I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I watch PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
*I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
*I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
*I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST have bad teeth.
*I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
*I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian.
*I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
*I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
*I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I don’t CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be WHITE.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
*I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I’m RUSSIAN, so I MUST love Vodka and Caviar.
repostand put a star by what you're likeif you are tired of stero-typing!!!

:YOU MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

GirlSlow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

GirlNo, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

GuyThen tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.

17 SIGNS YOUR FALLING IN LOVE

SEVENTEEN:
YOU LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY.

SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO SECONDS AGO.

FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM.

THIRTEEN:

YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.

ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME TIME.

TEN:

YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.

NINE:

WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS HIM/HER.

EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM.

SEVEN:

THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.

FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.

FOUR:

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...

TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DID'NT NOTICE NUMBER TWELVE IS MISSING.

ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & YOU ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...

Now repost this as '17 sings ur falling in love' and something AWESOME will happen 2 u!!

TWILIGHT!

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Icier, hotter and spicier than you since 1901

35 Things to do when your in Walmart! - UPDATED-

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Reason the human race has evolved thus far.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash.)(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . .)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what? Outer Space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits".

(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

25 Things my wonderful Mother taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Put Your playlist/iPod on Shuffle and Note the First 15 Songs

1. How does the world see you? Still Waiting ~ Sum 41

2. Will I have a happy life? Hotel California ~ The Eagles

3. What do my friends really think of me? Das Rad Des Schicksals ~ E Nomine

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Inner Universe ~ Yoko Kanno ~ Ghost in the Shell

5. How can I make myself happy? Lord Laharl's Theme ~ YURIA ~ Disgaea

6. What should I do with my life? Our Time Now ~ Plain White T's

7. What is some good advice for me? Ready Steady Go ~ L'Arc~en~Ciel ~ Full Metal Alchemist

8. How will I be remembered? Missing ~ Evanescence

9. What is my signature dancing song? Rondo ~ ON/OFF ~ Vampire Knight

10. What do I think my current theme song is? Made a Mistake ~ Sugarcult

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? The Phantom of the Opera ~ Nightwish

12. What song will play at my funeral? La Vida es Un Ratico ~ Juanes

13. What type of men/women do you like? Breathe ~ Faith Hill

14. What is my day going to be like? I Will ~ Sowelu ~ Full Metal Alchemist

15. What will tomorrow bring? Amazed ~ Lonestar